Losing First Love

Gravel_Roads · 2025-05-25T15:50:17+00:00

Nah. My first crush was in 6th grade. I was 11 and we “dated” for like a week and then broke up because it got boring.

My first LTR was probably harder, we dated for 8 years, and I used to go to her family’s house for the holidays. That was probably harder to lose than the relationship itself; her family was really warm and inviting and mine wasn’t, so I’m man enough to admit I cried a few times when holiday rolled around and I had no family to spend it with.

At 15 years later I don’t really remember what she even looked like. I’m glad we broke up because it helped me realize what was and wasn’t working, so the next person I was in was a lot more compatible with me. We’ve been together for over 10 years now and I wouldn’t do anything different.

leosandlattes · 2025-05-25T15:29:23+00:00

My first bf cheated on me after 4 years and I chose to be single for almost 4 years after that. That one did not impact me so much. It was one of his best friends who told me, only because he was mad that the girl my ex was cheating with was staying at their apartment and not contributing to rent or food or anything. Lol. So he told me, as a way of settling his own beef.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-05-25T15:46:52+00:00

My first relationship was only about 5 months but that break up hit me like a freight train. It took well over a year to get over it, maybe longer. In hindsight, I don't think I loved him, but the feeling of having a boyfriend. I was only 16 so that figures.

Second heartbreak I was early twenties, I was very infatuated but it wasn't reciprocated. I got so depressed after that, I even went to the doctors for anti depressants and fortunately, they refused. That was also a very short lived (six months).

I've been through bereavement, so I've experienced real bad things happening. But man, there's something about heartbreak that really messes you up.

GoldSailfin · 2025-05-25T16:08:28+00:00

My high school boyfriend of two weeks was the most powerful "love" I experienced for decades afterwards, and he dumped me for unclear reasons (we were 15 and 16) so I spiraled for a whole two years. Never let people tell you that teenage love is not real, those feelings I had then were just as genuine and the same as falling in love (mutually) when I was 44.

TermAggravating8043 · 2025-05-25T16:55:21+00:00

It took about a year to really move on from their cheating. Their was damage because he didn’t want to just dump me and let me move on, (he didn’t want to be the bad guy) so he started acting particularly cruel and avoiding me even though we’d been together for 2 years in hope I’d just leave him alone.

It was more rebuilding myself, so I wouldn’t let others treat me the same. I did date during this time but I was very reserved and jumped at the first sign of red flags.
My next serious relationship he treated like a partner, which included breaking down some barriers I hadn’t realised I’d put up. I realised he was never the kind of person that was ever gonna be cruel, he faced problems and always tried to do the best outcome. We’ve been together nearly 2 decades now.

I would now argue it’s not healthy to only romantically the one person and never move on. It’s healthy to grow snd it’s unlikely your still gonna be compatible with that same person years later.

First love is just the first time, doesn’t mean it’s the best.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-05-26T06:38:56+00:00

First doesn't mean anything. My true love totaly overwrite everything and shaped. Even though he js not my first relationship he is my only love and I consider him my first love because he is the first and only who really swept me off my feet and shaped me. And losing him absolutely destroyed me and I waited for him for years because noone could fill his shoes. I met better guys on paper but I didn't FEEL the same about them. He shaped me, shaped my preferences. I only noticed guys with similar hair and body time for a second but then I saw their face and it wasn't HIM. And he is not even my usual type. But I no longer like my usual type. He really shaped me.

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-25T18:26:20+00:00

My first love was over 20 years ago....

I honestly don't remember much. I was heartbroken, but it was high school, and I knew I had decades ahead of me to find love.

And now, looking back, I'm so glad I lost my first love. Because it led me to my forever love. 🩷

TotalTravesty · 2025-05-25T16:33:02+00:00

Yes, but everything seems like an eternity when you’re young and inexperienced. Then you get a new “love” and a new one and a new one until you realize that the losing still sucks—a lot—but it’s never the only one and it definitely doesn’t last for eternity.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-05-25T15:46:37+00:00

It sucked, a lot, for a while. Eventually, I feel in love again.

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Den_the_God-King · 2025-05-25T20:48:56+00:00

Mus b nuthn

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-05-25T21:55:26+00:00

What's this got to do with purple pill?

awakening_7600 · 2025-05-28T01:12:41+00:00

My first serious relationship was 2 years long and a very intense one at that. We lived together through the covid pandemic, built skills together, and to a degree, our personalities.

The split was hard and a shock. A generally strong relationship crumbled in weeks and blatant cheating was the nail in the coffin.

I barely survived. Dragged myself out of that apartment to my parents' house. Took a summer off work and considered dropping out of college. I was miserable and incredibly melancholy.

The only thing that brought me back was going to the gym and working out. I felt it was my only true escape. Looking back, I was in a vulnerable spot for an addiction with the friends I had at the time, but I am thankful I didn't cave into those desires.

I basically slept walk for 6 months straight. Therapy brought me back a bit, but I ultimately had to move out of the state and reshape the person I thought I was to move on.

The big mistake was I painted my whole future on my ex. Everything revolved around her succeeding and her happiness. I lost my own way in that process, and there was no crawling out of it because she valued everything about her and not me. In a selfish manner, too.

So I don't think it was ever going to last, but at the time, it sure did.

Harsh lessons. I'm a better person now for that. I wish I could do it all over again though. Cause I would probably be a lot further ahead and in a different place in life if I made smarter choices. An ill fated relationship turned sour was really the big snowball of several bad decisions I had made from about age 14 to 19.

throwaway164_3 · 2025-05-25T15:41:58+00:00

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DecantsForAll · 2025-05-25T17:17:08+00:00

Yeah, we were together for 10 years and then it ended like it was some sort of 6 week junior high school relationship. Crushing. I never recovered.

So many little things eat away at me, like her continually avoiding talking to me by insisting that we had already discussed everything. Then two years later when she finally gave me a chance to talk to her says to me "why didn't we ever talk about this?"

Beneficial_Song9530 · 2025-05-25T17:39:46+00:00

Get over it and touch grass.

Title	Losing First Love
Author	RequirementWeak940
Upvotes	11
Comments	35
Date	May 25, 2025 2:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kv449k/losing_first_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/losing-first-love.1553130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553130

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