How do you check if the friend that said "No" to a date is having a change of heart ?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-12T21:53:55+00:00

Here is what you don't understand. Women don't have intentions. They just feel like doing things without seeking any particular outcome. It's more like "let's see how i feel when i am with him, am i having a good time, am i enjoying myself with him? Do i feel something? do i not?"

They don't know what the end result is, they don't wanna know neither. They don't want spoilers. So when she tells you to meet, it doesn't carry a secret ulterior motive. So it's not like you can say it's a change of heart or anything. It's more like let's meet and whatever happens, happens.

When you try to rationalize, and demand clarity from her, that's when you ruin any potential, because attraction for her happens when the mystery has to be resolved naturally, not by demanding from her answers about what this is.

So, in situations like this, you have to go with the flow. It's not a yes or a no to romance, it's not a yes or a not to friendship. It's her saying: "lets meet because i feel like spending time with you without any expectations, maybe it will be just a friendly hangout or maybe not, who knows. But i also won't give you any clear answers if you ask me."

bluestar1800 · 2025-07-12T23:22:59+00:00

Look, mixed bag here.

Women want to see you. They want to know you before saying yeah let's date.

Alot of men think women aren't worth getting to know unless sex is fairly close to happening. Which is a shitty game really.

If you like someone, like them for who they are. Think to yourself "I can enjoy another person's company without wanting to be 'paid back', without placing expectation on it beyond kind reciprocation'.

If you'd really like more woth this person, ask yourself why that is. Rather than seeing a cute girl and thinking I want to date her, I.e. experience her sexually, think what it is about her that appeals. Same for women too.

If things are hurting you, it is good to step back. But go on other dates. Be yourself without the goal being "who can I attract". Go and be productive in the world, form meaningful relationships with men, and with some women, you might have friend groups etc.

Let that be the goal.

By all means let this girl know here are the things I like about you. I mean have 4 or 5 platonic hang outs and see what you think, you may not like her all that much anyway. Listen to what she says and does.

If you seek the company of others only to see what you can get they'll see right through you.

verkadalai · 2025-07-12T21:55:06+00:00

Please do yourself a favour and move on. Do not engage as a friend. How are you going to signal to her that you were serious about wanting something romantic with her, if you give her the attention she needs without receiving what you want? Your value diminishes in her eyes. If you stop engaging, there will come a time when she asks “hey how are we not engaging much these days” and that’s your time to say, I am interested in you romantically, if you are open to that, let’s talk. She will value your frame better if this conversation happens.

SituationOk6836 · 2025-07-12T21:46:43+00:00

"Let's go grab some drinks, what do you think? I know an incredible place X"

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-12T23:45:59+00:00

Don't check anything, that alone would be forcing a vibe. if you are actually friends then just talk and hang out like normal, let whatever happens happen organically.

CoachSlyDating · 2025-07-13T20:10:41+00:00

Keep her as a friend and have her help to get other girls. Having a female friend can be a real asset if it is genuine. Women are attracted to men who have other women in their life. Bring her to events with other women and you will get more interest.

Only_Ad8049 · 2025-07-12T22:37:26+00:00

If you want to hang out and catch up as a friend, just keep it there.

If you're still longing for more, then don't even entertain a friendship. Be bold enough to tell her and either get rejected or rewarded.

Don't hang around as a friend if that's not what YOU want.

Few_Environment2631 · 2025-07-12T21:53:55+00:00

Why stick around a girl who already said nah ? Is she that special to you ??

PlayaNoir · 2025-07-12T22:53:39+00:00

Stop dithering around texting and just use it to set up a date. She either says yes or she says no.

NaiveAd6090 · 2025-07-14T16:06:19+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with being friends with a woman as others have implied. But it seems you might have her on too much of a pedestal. If you can detach you should keep her around while you date other women and don’t be afraid to make a move on her if the moment is right. Either it will grow organically or you’ll stay friends which can be positive and as others have mentioned can help your aura with other women. Key thing is she needs to not be your main focus and you need to pursue other options. Remember a good relationship includes Friendship. That doesn’t necisarily mean you have to start as “just friends” for X amount of time but you have to be comfortable there for anything else to work out. If you have genuine interest in someone and don’t solely want to possess them you have no problem being their friend. Don’t try to force it into a date as some have suggested that’s ignoring her boundary and chasing which will push her away. The friend zone only exists if you accept it mentally as a construct and feel trapped by it. If you maintain flirtiness and be her friend without issue as you explore other options with confidence she will either show you when her mind changes/go for it when you naturally make a move or you’ll gain a friend and increase your other options. Win win. But ONLY if you’re not so head over heels you can’t detach. If you have her on a pedestal you’re cooked

ryux999 · 2025-07-14T21:54:23+00:00

lol buddy. move on. She aint into you.

IntrovertDatingCoach · 2025-07-13T13:24:44+00:00

Mistake 1 was agreeing to be her friend when that's not what you want. That said, if you feel like she's being more talkative and possibly open to meeting up again, here's what you do:

Wait for her to ask you to do an activity.
When she does, say playfully, "Ooh, are you trying to ask me on a date?"
If she says "no, I just want to hang as friend," say "Ooh, that's too bad - but hey, if you change your mind and want me to knock your socks off, hit me up." If she says "I mean..." or "Well, maybe..." say "great, let's meet up - here's a place and time, see you soon."

Title	How do you check if the friend that said "No" to a date is having a change of heart ?
Author	tiny-giant-01
Upvotes	18
Comments	24
Date	July 12, 2025 9:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lybydm/how_do_you_check_if_the_friend_that_said_no_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-check-if-the-friend-that-said-no-to-a.1556974 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556974

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