Traditional-style money management in today's marriages

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-07-24T13:40:42+00:00

I get that we champion traditional relationships here, but even traditional men enjoy a break. Handing off management of the finances is a huge relief. I know, because after being told I was doing it wrong for a year and a half, I told my husband he could do it. That was seven years ago. It works wonderfully. He gets to know where everything is going and I don't have to stress about it as much, in part because he's better at it. If you're good with money, there are plenty of traditional men who wouldn't mind handing off this stressor in a marriage.

sine120 · 2025-07-24T15:44:03+00:00

My relationship is somewhat atypical, but for the most part my wife handles the day to day finances, while I handle investments. I'll have a say in the rough budget so we're in agreement, but after autopay and monthly deposits are set up I rarely check the bank account.

She's a spreadsheets for everything kind of girl and for me as long as the numbers are going up roughly the right amount I don't care (though I am pretty frugal). She can't handle my type of approach and neither of us take issue with her handling the small stuff.

alis_adventureland · 2025-07-24T14:27:41+00:00

"Traditional" marriages actually rely on the wife doing the bookkeeping and budgeting. That was the standard back in the 1950s model nuclear family. Men made money, women managed & spent it.

If anything, having a man manage the budget is more modern not traditional.

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-07-24T13:27:20+00:00

To be clear, it is your preference to be responsible for allocating expenses/budgeting, tracking expenses, paying the bills, and retirement planning/investing? Or just for some of these?

Ravennole · 2025-07-24T18:29:14+00:00

If you find someone good with his hands and bad with numbers who is comfortable in his skin? Pretty high. If you’re looking for a corporate guy or a lawyer? Incredibly unlikely.

Why default to college educated? The guy/relationship you’re looking for exists.

My grandparents were married in 1945 when my grandfather’s service ended. He worked a variety of jobs before starting a small body and fender shop. My grandma handled 100% of the finances for their entire 75 year marriage.

So many guys fit the bill. Just not finance bros and lawyers.

Such-Tangerine2673 · 2025-07-24T18:38:25+00:00

I’m much more educated on (and interested in) investment and retirement planning than my fiance, he is thrilled to let me take the lead on that for our household. I think it’s most important to make sure both people know, understand, and agree with the overall financial strategy, but beyond that it doesn’t matter who takes the primary lead on managing it.

jobgh · 2025-07-24T21:08:02+00:00

i'm a guy and when dating working women, i definitely prefer managing the money myself. we both feel most comfortable that way

however, now that i'm dating a more traditional woman that would like to stay at home to cook, clean, sew, and study online for school, i'm probably going to delegate the money management to her. i'm quite good with money, but it'd be nice to take it off my plate. she'll have more time to focus on money and shopping too. when i'm single, i often get so slammed for time that i buy things without price shopping or budgeting which isn't optimal

One-Introduction-566 · 2025-07-24T14:05:24+00:00

I guess it just depends on the guy. Some men want to manage that more and others are happy to be hands off and pass that on to you. I grew up with my mom doing most of the money management and always wanted to do that. I do more of that in my marriage now

Master0fC0inn · 2025-07-24T15:01:52+00:00

My parents actually did it this way. My mom didn’t work most of my life growing up and my dad was a fairly high earner. My dad obviously maxed out retirement accounts but my mom pretty much handled paying off credit cards every month, purchasing home stuff, etc.

It seemed really nice for both of them and plan to do the same. I’m a 28M and fiance is 27F and would like to retire her in 2 years.

twatwater · 2025-07-26T05:12:28+00:00

My husband is the breadwinner, but I manage the money. I think it goes hand in hand with being a manager of the house, personally. How can you manage a household without also managing the finances?

RemarkableFlower7652 · 2025-07-28T07:51:20+00:00

If your preference is to handle everything, I'm honestly so delusional and confident in myself that I believe a man can agree to anything if he's in love enough. If he can see that it's wiser for the family and it'll make you happy, a man in love will let you handle it. So imo the odds are 100%. I have an extremely good track record for managing my money so I think if I made a case for it, I'd be given the reigns to handle all our money. But I don't want it.

If you show that year after year you beat the market by a landslide what guy wouldn't eagerly hand over all his money to you? (The only thing is I'm afraid of risking other people's money) but I think because I respect other people's money so much I can't imagine handling theirs. But the Bible does say a good wife is a prudent investor. Women ARE good at managing finance generally.

I just hope you're not doing it out of fear, like you're worried hebwill blow all his money away without you policing it. You should date a man who is good with his finances. But. If he's good with his finances he will easily see if better than him at it, and he will gladly give you his money to manage.

oldgit42 · 2025-07-28T15:21:46+00:00

I'm Male and had my 51st wedding anniversary just over a week ago. I've been managing our "joint" money almost the whole of the marriage. I can't remember exactly what happened when first married, but we both were earning and needed both incomes to survive. I'm pretty sure we must have merged it all into a joint bank account that we still have today. A few years in and my wife becomes a SAHM and I was the sole income earner.

Fast forward to when we moved into a bigger home (oldest daughter was 5 - about 13 years into our marriage) and our joint bank account was slowly going more overdrawn month on month until I had a snotty letter from the bank. I then introduced a severe budgeting system and I wrote a software program to manage it. I've been using that (and enhancing it - it can be found on my github account "akc42") keeping a tight grip on our finances for the past 38 years. I still use it today, both for the money I control and my business accounts.

So the kids start going to school and my wife does start to earn a little money working from home doing dress alterations which she keeps as "pin money" in her own bank account and which I don't ask her about. It is a fairly trivial amount. I did have to bail her credit card out once and after that she stopped having a credit card for a long time.

I think we have a traditional marriage, but I manage the money and naturally feel that its my responsibility to do so. I quite enjoy it, and never felt it was a burden. Maybe men a different these days

About 10 years ago my wife's parents died and she came into a largish sum of money. She manages that herself and pays a contribution to Grandchildren's school fees from it. She also takes a half yearly amount that is mainly used for Daughter's and Grandchildren's presents. Also it has never been explicitly discussed but she has started being responsible for home furnishings (curtains, bed sheets, pillows and covers, table lamps and vases etc). This started when about 7 years ago we started a major refurbishment/redecoration of our house. I planned, budgeted and paid for the main works and she just started enhancing things.

manolosandmartinis44 · 2025-07-29T16:45:35+00:00

I personally don't know any US-based young, college-eduated couples of any race doing it that way but maybe you've heard otherwise.

I think hubby's sister (43) manages the money for her husband (45) in LA. Her husband's got a Duke doctorate in economics, she has a Wharton MBA.

serene_brutality · 2025-07-24T14:12:15+00:00

It works better when they pool money and agree on budget. However too many of us men have been burned hard. Either with her spending it all on frivolous wants leaving no money for bills, or not having enough money for a motorcycle but enough for her to take the girls out weekly for $250 a pop.

I’d personally love to have this headache taken off my plate, but I don’t trust anyone enough.

YoyoPeaches · 2025-07-24T19:24:22+00:00

I recently had a conversation with my fiance, He said he would feel emasculated if I was doing the finances.

I am aware of our finances and know how to pay all of our bills if needed.

I do keep a detailed spreadsheet for us to track things, but otherwise its his job. I feel like its more of a masculine task (unless you're an accountant, and would be better at it)

AutoModerator · 2025-07-24T13:23:13+00:00

Title: Traditional-style money management in today's marriages

Author CriticalEggplant6007

Full text: I understand today's economy is not easy on most couples. On the other hand, I'm pretty much aware of our american customs on 50/50.

But I'm wondering... What are the chances of meeting a man who agrees on the woman managing all of the money of both when married? - just the way it can still happen in other cultures. Is it that unrealistic?

I personally don't know any US-based young, college-eduated couples of any race doing it that way but maybe you've heard otherwise.

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Title	Traditional-style money management in today's marriages
Author	CriticalEggplant6007
Upvotes	25
Comments	47
Date	July 24, 2025 1:23 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1m84b9j/traditionalstyle_money_management_in_todays/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/traditional-style-money-management-in-todays.1557950 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557950

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