I think im afraid of women and I feel that Im going to die alone if I dont change nothing.

letsrizz · 2025-07-26T14:43:55+00:00

Yo bro, I really respect how honest this post is. Most guys would rather lie to themselves than admit they’re feeling stuck and ashamed. The fact that you’re even asking for help says a lot about your character.

Ima tell you something that I wish someone told me when I was in your shoes..

Your problem isn’t with women—it’s with your relationship to yourself.

You said it yourself:

• You’re tall • Dress well • Can hold deep convos • Have strong friendships • Even get stares from women…

That tells me this isn’t about your surface value. It’s about how you feel inside when it comes to intimacy, rejection, and being seen as a man.

That panic you feel around dancing, touching, or even making a move? That’s not weakness. That’s trauma, fear of judgment, fear of being “too much” or “getting it wrong.” You’ve built such a strong version of yourself as a friend, deep thinker, and respectful guy… but you’ve disowned the part of you that’s raw, primal, and confidently masculine.

Here’s what I’d do if I were in your place (and I was, not long ago)

It all comes down to inner game. You clearly have strong conversation skills and come across as a great guy when things aren’t romantic—which tells me the block isn’t about social ability. It’s about your mindset around intimacy and women.

There’s likely some deep-rooted shame or resistance tied to romance, and it could stem from a few things:

• Past rejections that left a mental scar • A long dry spell that’s made intimacy feel foreign • You’ve unconsciously gotten used to not getting girls, so it feels like your identity now

It might be one of these—or all three. But the key is:

Until you shift your internal beliefs around women and connection, no amount of “trying harder” will fix it.

Start there—and the external results will follow.

Hope this helped

readonlyuser · 2025-07-26T15:12:01+00:00

I strongly recommend therapy. You have some deeply ingrained shame and patterns of thought that you need to grow past. Professional help can get you there.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-07-26T15:55:50+00:00

Try other ways to socialize with women rather than pure cold approach. There are many ways to meet them! Use them all!

Tip: Use steps. You don't have to approach and have success right away. The point is to fail and learn. If approaching for romance it too scary, then try something easier like asking for directions to the bathroom. If approaching the hottest women is terrifying, start with approaching the average looking women. If even that is too much - practice small talking with some dudes and perhaps that's easier.

Start where you are. Don't rush the process. It's okay to be at your current step. Be there and take the step you're on repeatedly until you feel somewhat comfortable.

The fact that you left the house to socialize is already a big win. Keep doing that.

Fun-Joke-3063 · 2025-07-26T13:57:39+00:00

Go to a place where you are not known and do whatever you want, rules don’t matter reality is a mystery and humans make shit up as a human you have the power to do whatever you want as along as other humans won’t ruin your fun. In Jamaica and in the old days you could just pick up a pretty gal and run away and she might like that. Still works today as long as your having fun with it she might have fun too.

CompleteMan_ · 2025-07-26T14:16:03+00:00

It’s because you’re trying to be too safe and not embarrass yourself. The next time a girl is staring at you and giving you signs, literally walk up to her and say ‘hey I think you’re pretty, can I buy you a drink?’ Put your cards on the table, don’t protect yourself. Women appreciate some amount of audacity. Get her a drink, learn about her without any pressure or expectations. Even if she isn’t interested you’ll gain rizz points that you can use in the future or later in the evening.

Practice, practice, practice!

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-07-26T15:41:51+00:00

I’d keep going out and working on getting better since I was in your place

MissOregano · 2025-07-26T16:03:06+00:00

Do you have any close friends you would feel comfortable talking to about this? I have a few people that would try to help set me up with activities if I mentioned it, as I am also chronically single😅

KoleSekor · 2025-07-26T17:07:27+00:00

Start small so your subconscious realizes it has nothing to be afraid of. Just focus on staying calm with your breathing and posture and make an observation to a woman with zero attachment to an outcome except making her smile or laugh or answer your question...

You'll begin to collect evidence that there's nothing to be afraid of and then stretch conversations longer and longer until right after a high point, you can say, "Hey it's been fun chatting with you, but I've got to [fill in the blank], let me have your number and we can continue this sometime soon/you should join me for [fill in the blank]"

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-26T14:45:44+00:00

- I'm going to die alone

Is that even a bad thing? I think some people need to learn that "being alone without romantic partner" is not a tragedy or some type of ultimate horror story. U might live a life where u r not in a traditional romantic partnership, but that doesn't mean it's a bad life by default.

uou can be married for 50 years, surrounded by people and still feel alone, unseen, misunderstood or emotionally disconnected.

And u can be single ur entire life and still feel connected, deeply alive, loved by friends, inspired by your work, at peace with yourself, having experienced short term things with women that were fun to experience, or having found purpose that leaves a positive impact on others..

Loniliness is also not a permanent thing. Sometimes ucan be with someone and sometimes that can end.

Also if your fear is that you won't matter to someone ever, there are more things than a relationship that can be fuliflling, like adopting a child who lost his parents for example.

Cuz this reframes the question entirely...

Rather than asking, “Will someone ever love me?”, u ask... “Who could I love enough to leave better than I found them?”

That’s a life that matters. With or without romance.

xoexohexox · 2025-07-26T19:52:14+00:00

Dancing is not for everyone. I HATE dancing. It's not a requirement. Work a few different apps every day and you'll meet people. My favs are Feeld, OKC, and FB. Be patient, could take a while! My wife (who I met on FB dating) and I usually find a play partner every month or two this way, some of whom have stuck around! Connect with someone intellectually first, lay it all out in your bio, look for someone with the same goals as you and don't settle. Don't leave anything out or hide anything about yourself for fear of being rejected.

Matter_Still · 2025-07-26T21:54:06+00:00

That fear should be respected. Make getting married to a woman who fits you like a glove, a home, kids…the entire package, your priority (as important as financial security) and that fear will dissolve.

Advanced_Hedgehog427 · 2025-07-26T22:19:19+00:00

The only way to combat this is exposure, is not only to shift your mentality because maybe one night you think about it and start to feel Tony Stark, but then the next day when you're actually infront of a girl you start to feel weak again.

You have to adapt yourself to uncomfortable situations until they become the usual, maybe start conversation with a girl that is cute but not that intimidant to you and keep going until you start to feel more confident, is beautiful when you start to be yourself around girls you would not dared to be around before, and noticed that they're just persons like us, with weird stuff to say too.

I have experimented this situation before, and I managed to escape then fell again, cons of being a nomad introvert guy, never stayed too much in one city so I started from zero again and again and again.

Sometimes to start to warm up, I would go to a place full of people, like the center of the city or a mall or something and just say hi to girls, most of them wouldn't reply back, even tho I'm a very atractive guy, but I don't do it to get a reply, I do it to start to feel comfortable feeling stupid and rejected, until I start to have the confidence to do a cold approach or something, its important that you do not seek for results with women, but with yourself.

Thats level 1, after that I would advise to go to salsa class, its perfect, you learn to dance, you meet pretty girls and you get used to being around them and touching them and look at them.

Then level 2, you start to make conversation with random girls, girls at the gym or cashiers, and not only conversation but actually being yourself, flirtly and with no pressure at all, girls feel that and its extremely atractive to them, you'll manage to go out with some of them or even have options that you keep around.

One step at a time, good luck!

UltraAirWolf · 2025-07-26T22:38:41+00:00

You need to overcome your barrier through exposure. Just approach after approach after approach. Within the thing you fear most is the key to your liberation. You don’t have to be u prepared there are a billion books and they all have a game plan. The only way out is through. It’s not a bad thing you’re just scared. It’s a hell of a climb but you can do it. But yeah, you’re right, if you do nothing then you probably will die alone.

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-07-27T02:35:21+00:00

you have to start really slow like go to a mall or a crowed place and just exist lol, look at people, drink something if you want but make sure it really full or people, then try to look women in the eyes, even if just walking past them, go to malls or stores and just talk to the cashiers, then try to smile to women you see, then say hi randomly , then you can stack up more stuff all the way until you can do cold approach and open a woman or a group or women, sounds stupid and silly but this was the way people did it in the past.

Possible-Draft-4403 · 2025-07-27T04:25:32+00:00

I think @letsrizz can teach

ChicoBrillo · 2025-07-27T21:24:54+00:00

maybe you're picking the wrong environment? I don't really like clubs these days myself (in my mid thirties, can't hear anyone, younger crowd anyway). You could try social circle gaming.

Back2theCouture · 2025-07-26T20:21:12+00:00

Everybody will alone. Unless you got killed by a mass shooter.

But seriously, once you embrace that sad reality your burden and fear will slowly disappear. Don’t look for a woman to fill in the void. By doing that you’re just thinking any woman would do. You feel like time keeps chasing you.

But think that you wanna share your temporary life with someone else that appreciates it, as you will appreciate hers as well.

Title	I think im afraid of women and I feel that Im going to die alone if I dont change nothing.
Author	Adorable_Zombie_6959
Upvotes	39
Comments	24
Date	July 26, 2025 1:45 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1m9tqlz/i_think_im_afraid_of_women_and_i_feel_that_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-think-im-afraid-of-women-and-i-feel-that-im.1558142 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558142

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