I don't think she cheated but..

DaveTheDrummer802 · 2025-07-31T17:00:46+00:00

My wife would continually talk about a married man that she worked with, and the fact that he wasn't happy with his wife. Their views differ a lot, and she hardly talks about him anymore, but it wouldn't surprise me if they had a quick make-out session in an elevator ride and then one of them pulling back saying, "No, we can't."

soundbarrier47 · 2025-07-30T20:19:41+00:00

Sorry brother, not to pour on to what others have stated, but she slept with that co-worker and once he got what he wanted a few times, decided to stay with his wife, so she’s being “normal” now because her plan B failed (co-worker not the pill).

Chances are strong that your marriage is over, because it’s not IF this happens again, it’s when and this time, it’ll hurt a lot more.

Il_Valentino · 2025-07-30T09:48:51+00:00

Understand how monkey branching works. They always try to make sure to have the next partner ready before they hit you with divorce. She is acting "normal" now because her backup failed. As soon as she has a new replacement ready she will repeat the pattern and then might file for divorce.

You basically already lost her, your marriage is a ticking time bomb. No amount of marriage counseling will be able to change her nature. If she thinks it's ok to monkey branch then your only hope is that she will never find someone else. I wouldn't bet on that and go for divorce myself sooner rather than later to limit the damage.

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-07-30T05:04:18+00:00

Is she around the age of 40? Had childhood trauma? Have you heard “I’m not happy” or something about her “finding herself”?

You have decisions to make. Not saying it’s over or not worth saving but right now she is not to be trusted. I know you have some type of sunk cost fallacy (like kids or time invested) but your first step is getting your testicles back. Trust me you had them. They are still there. Be direct. Be honest. Don’t be afraid to lose anything, even her. That is ironically how you end up losing those exact things.

Teeko253 · 2025-07-30T01:41:52+00:00

Bro. Have some dignity. “ I know she had a crush on a co worker” if you know this that shows how much respect she has for you. If she’s acting different it’s because she has entertainment from other men. It’s clear as day. I wish you the best bro be smart

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-07-29T22:07:19+00:00

I don’t think she cheated but.. she did.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-07-29T15:18:40+00:00

But what the fuck do I do with this. She'll no longer be working with the dude by coincidence. Now she's acting normal again and like she wants this relationship.

She’ll find her way into another one, you can bet the ranch on that. A few options: play it cool and wait and see, start backing down your emotional investment, pull the plug

Aside from that, you’ve got us and your eyes open. If she starts getting suspicious of you or accusing you of things, then you’re sure her guilty conscience has taken over.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-07-29T13:44:07+00:00

She cheated for sure, but the guy wouldn't leave his wife. He cut your wife off and now shes coming back to you until the next guy who pays her attention comes along.

What do you do with this? You go to couples therapy, you both lay everything out in the open (I guarantee this is not the first time for her), and then you make a decision if you want to build something new with her from the ground up knowing what you know, or you divorce her and go find a loyal woman to build something with.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-07-29T13:08:50+00:00

She wanted to sleep with a married man, still is sleeping with him or did before and he broke it off - he got what he wanted and she was an idiot who though he was going to leave his wife for some strange (most likely in this scenario). Failed monkey branching and what you see now is fake her until she does it again with someone else. No, she does not love you, desire you or respect you. It's over.

What do you do? You return her to the streets where she belongs.

BlueHarvest17 · 2025-07-29T12:14:42+00:00

I'm pretty sure my STBXW either cheated or wanted to cheat. When I described the situation about how things happened, *everyone* is like, dude, she's cheating. A part of me *still* doesn't think she cheated. Just the logistics would be tough.

When you say "I don't think she did anything though, but not because she wouldn't have." I think you have to ask yourself, why are you staying with someone who you know would have cheated on you if she could have? I don't think that's a fixable situation.

rsmiley77 · 2025-07-29T11:12:39+00:00

Man she’s giving you all the signs.

I’ll give you my case. My now ex tried to cheat with one person. The person said no and changed jobs to get away from my ex. Then my ex all of a sudden started acting fine. Almost like nothing had ever happened. Would apologize and say how stupid she was when looking back on it. Took her about 15 additional months to latch onto someone else and this time she successfully found someone to ‘cheat’ with. They are still in an on again off again hate-ship.

At the very least your wife tried her best to leave you for someone else. She feels so empowered and has such a low opinion of you that she doesn’t mind telling you about her crushes. She’s daring you to do something about it. If you don’t flat out walk away start preparing yourself for the inevitable. Marriage is already a toss up which puts your success of still being married in five years in the VERY low range.

Title	I don't think she cheated but..
Author	RecduRecsu
Upvotes	18
Comments	23
Date	July 29, 2025 10:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mc82fa/i_dont_think_she_cheated_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-dont-think-she-cheated-but.1558407 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558407

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