Who is fighting?

DivorceCoachGio · 2025-09-22T16:18:01+00:00

Depends. Can be a mix.
Did you have a clear plan going into this and are you and your lawyer in agreement over strategy?

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-09-22T14:00:09+00:00

The fight is trying to get to the finish line. You're running but your legs are caught up in things: money, the ex, lawyers, the process, court, whatever.

Meanwhile you just want it to be over.

Some days any and all of the above are, to you, slowing things down. The trick is to just look at the end as the goal and anything that is causing you stress/slowing the process as a thing you need to work though.

It can be overwhelming if you only think here and now. Aim PAST the end and you'll get through it a bit easier.

mesi130 · 2025-09-22T13:11:04+00:00

I’m starting to think with my situation it’s the lawyers prolonging the process. Been almost a year with no progress. I’m no contact with my stbxw. She can take whatever she wants from the house. Nothing really to fight over. No kids and cut and dry

s77tas1 · 2025-09-22T11:07:21+00:00

UK based here, but been fighting my (soon to be ex) wife for 2.5 years so far over our financial split. Had 3 court hearings and spend north of £60k (about $80k) in legal fees so far (before I've actually given her a penny). It's shit but I literally can't get divorced until we have a financial order, and if one party doesn't agree or won't compromise then there is no option other than for the court to intervene.

StandardButPoor500 · 2025-09-22T08:44:46+00:00

That heavily depends on the situation.

Technically, any argument or disagreement is a fight. Same as any fight, it can be resolved by one side winning, by a compromise or it can escalate.

Comfortable-Might240 · 2025-09-22T07:37:42+00:00

What does it mean to fight?

Are negotiating, litigating, compromising, mediating, capitulating, the same as fighting?

Did someone mistreat you, and if so, what is the justification that you should not fight back.

After you lose the fight that someone initiated against you to violate you and harm your kids, nobody is going to have any sympathy at all whatsoever for you as a man. They are going to victim blame you, and ask you, "why didn't you fight back?"

You can be a victim or a victor

When someone brings you trouble, and refuses every good faith attempt for cooperation, you should bury them in trouble until they regret the day they were born. It's not just me saying that, it's 10000s of years of nature, and the definition of what it means to be a fighter vs being a coward

upvotersfortruth · 2025-09-22T07:02:22+00:00

Everybody ^{WasKungFuFighting}

NilEntity · 2025-09-22T06:39:46+00:00

I didn't have to fight either fortunately, I decided early on what was most important to me (getting my daughter 50% and getting having her "registered" at my place, something we have here, which prevents her mom from just up and moving away with her; didn't think she'd do it realistically, but also didn't think she's just call it quits with no prior warning; I'm not gonna do anything with it, just this way she can't either), focused on that, gave way/in on other things that were not so important etc.
Also I think the ex also might have had a guilty conscience and also wanted it over quickly that's why we went "amicable" because it was the fastest option and I definitely didn't want a protracted court battle, where I ran the risk of losing 50% etc.

But I met a guy once who had to fight it out up to our surpreme court, for 10+ years, actually set a precedent in the law which was relevant to my own divorce, custody, child support etc. situation.

So, yeah, it happens and oh god am I glad it didn't happen to me.

Title	Who is fighting?
Author	Accurate-Pilot-5666
Upvotes	5
Comments	16
Date	September 22, 2025 6:31 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nnf499/who_is_fighting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/who-is-fighting.1562557 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562557

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