What do you do to be a good partner?

wtknight · 2025-10-02T12:40:14+00:00

Removed. No internal questions (men asking men or women asking women).

Jon_Boopin · 2025-10-01T22:29:40+00:00

People will give a lot of good answers but there is one that reigns supreme: self-critique.

There is nothing subordinate to this, because it defines the very thing which gives us the capacity to change. No matter how low of a depth someone has finally reached, so long as they become capable of self-critique, they can change and recognize their errors. And the more you self-critique, the better you get at quickly identifying and fixing problems. You get better at analyzing situations where you may have a bias. As a result, you also become a better communicator.

All people, men and women alike, must self-critique. It goes without saying if you meet someone who refuses to ever self-critique, it is a glowing crimson flag.

TheGloriousEv0lution · 2025-10-01T22:12:26+00:00

For my partner: being supportive, listening and communicating, doing little things for her, cooking and overall keeping the passion alive with cute dates and sexual tension. We both still have that same spark from when we first met to this day

You don’t have to do anything explosive or make any grand gestures if she genuinely likes you

poorbatman243 · 2025-10-02T04:20:48+00:00

Nothing , I dont plan to change myself for women I date, i would only change myself for my wife

throwaway73737828 · 2025-10-02T05:03:38+00:00

You dont. That kind of thinking for men is wrong to do, if you try to be good and appeal to her you gonna lose relationships. You have to focus on your life and interests rather than to appeal to her. If You are going in the relationship to “how to please her”. Thats a disaster way to go in. You should go in as how do I get the most benefit for myself.

For women, they can be good by not being annoying, angry, bitchy, rude etc. And they can be good also by giving sex and helping him with chores or small tasks. That would make a guy love you a lot.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-10-02T06:44:45+00:00

I love her
I respect her
I understand her
I feel her
I protect her
I help her
I hug her
I carry her
I rely on her
I listen to her
I mentor her
I humor her
I'm her confidant
I will always be there
I don't simp to her
I don't lie to her

Just off the top of my head.

She showed me this song saying that it describes how I make her feel whenever I look at her with hungry eyes. Modern music is crap when it comes to expressing love so that is why we both dig through older music from a time when I think women didn't hate men so much.

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Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-10-01T22:32:13+00:00

I’ve mentioned it before here:

Every day I focus on making sure I put her first. And every day she focuses on putting me first. And by constantly trying to outdo each other in putting the others needs first: the family ends up coming first.

GrandpaDallas · 2025-10-01T22:53:35+00:00

I chat with her often. I like to send her texts every so often letting her know I'm thinking about her, and I am
I make time spent together as enjoyable as possible through shared activity
I do little things for her and get her small tokens of appreciation that she enjoys, even when they cost nothing

Ultimately I treat her like a best friend. I listen to her, joke with her, spend time with her, help make her life more enjoyable. Plus, sex

MistaCreepz · 2025-10-01T23:00:58+00:00

I don't know... my wife was a platonic friend for years before we started dating. We just hang out and hope the other one does the chore first (its usually me because my threshold for needing to clean something is infinitely lower than hers)

IridikronsNo1Fan · 2025-10-02T00:47:28+00:00

I'll be very blunt. Multiple orgasms.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-10-02T00:53:18+00:00

Never stop working on myself.

I'm not a partner though so don't take that as advice, but that's my plan at least.

KayRay1994 · 2025-10-02T02:08:16+00:00

Be fun, supportive, affirming and helpful, listen to what your partner has to say, address each other’s needs and elevate each other. I also think making your partner feel safe and trusted is very important as well

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-10-02T08:54:41+00:00

The best couples I have seen are very aware of what the others contribute and appreciative. More importantly, since they know what the other is up to, each is able to course correct to make sure that contributions are even and perceived to be so. Nip resentment in the bud. Generally, keeping things balance can be done at low resolution and implicitly. Nobody is being the neurotic accountant. But sometimes communication or strategy have to get more explicit.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-10-01T23:21:32+00:00

I’m playful and still plan dates where we go out and see new things and meet new people. I’m also really honest about when I need my personal space (I’m an introvert), and make sure to be reassuring that it’s not due to anything my partner has done.

I also make sure to still do small token gestures of thoughtfulness to break life’s monotony- ie, today, I got my partner some of their favorite pastries and brought it to them on their lunch break from work.

We’ve known each other for over 25 years and we’ve seen what doesn’t work, lol. We made a lot of mistakes. But we worked it out eventually.

babazuki · 2025-10-01T22:33:37+00:00

Keep doing the thing that made her attracted to you in the first place. Ignore the complaints about how she wants you to help out more or other bullshit. They will complain regardless of what you do, they enjoy it. Just be the guy that attracted her in the first place.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-10-01T22:04:40+00:00

Overall:

shove aside my introversion and chat with her. She’s a social creature, I can feel aversion towards talking to others at times, even if I shouldn’t. Almost all women are more extroverted than I am anyway, it’s healthy to talk to people.
talk to her family and friends. I’m guaranteed to need coffee to do this pleasantly because reasons
share hobbies. Kind of necessary for me dating someone, or I’ll get bored of them really quickly
if she wants to sleep with me and I’m not up for it at all due to exhaustion and a headache or whatever, I just clear my head and that’ll probably work (not a super healthy habit to have, this same feeling is how I would “feel nothing” in general)
practice good hygiene. This is essentially all of your physical attractiveness to someone who is currently used to you in a relationship.
have similar values and a similar life plan as her (no kids ever, non-religious)

Stuff like that

James_M_Croft · 2025-10-02T00:12:11+00:00

I just do whatever woman react well to.

Women are very unique in personalities and thought patterns that I can`t really understand.

So I do the same I do with kids, I you shake a few keys or toys in front of them and react accordingly to how they react.

So I just continuously try whatever until I find some set of things that work and then repeat. Sometimes it is being like an authority and give them lots of affirmation. Sometimes it is to treat them as a toy and play with them. Sometimes it is like being a father and just let them yap about whatever.

Motosport_Titan · 2025-10-01T23:54:53+00:00

When I was in a relationship:

being her best friend
open and clear communication
anticipate her needs
consistency
showing that I care by words for affirmation and actions, usually through acts of service.
listening and supporting.

And other stuff I can’t think of right now.

Title	What do you do to be a good partner?
Author	Classic_Hippo3602
Upvotes	6
Comments	23
Date	October 1, 2025 8:54 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nvk8bk/what_do_you_do_to_be_a_good_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-do-to-be-a-good-partner.1563248 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563248

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