By way of background, I cohabitated with the ex for over three years after we "separated." It was extremely toxic. She would be out multiple nights a week with the dude and lie to the kids about it. Her and her family went to my kids and friends and spread terrible lies about me. I paid all the bills ($6500 a month). I got banished to a windowless room in the basement. She would go through my stuff and throw it away. Thousands of dollars worth of clothes and art and sports memorabilia. I couldn't keep food in the house (she would throw it away) so I door dashed every meal for three years.

During the divorce, she tried to take 100% custody. She tried to take the house. She accused me of abuse and lied about everything she could. Even after we reached a settlement, she tried to undo the terms. I pay her $1000 a month, I had to move out (retained 50% equity in the house). And this is occurring during a government shutdown when I havent been paid in over a month. I bankrupted myself with moving, buying myself out of the marriage, and lawyers fees.

Needless to say, it has been terrible and my mental and physical health is nearly destroyed.

But last night, I dropped my kids off at their moms (she was out drinking with her boyfriend). I went home, had a glass of scotch while watching some golf, and then took a shower and climbed into my newly assembled bed. All in MY house. It is decorated how I want, has the rules I want, and is completely free from the toxicity. And my god did it feel amazing.

Point is, I spent years at the absolute lowest point of my life and it passed. Its over. And for all the dudes that are in it right now, Im sorry and I feel for you. But whatever it takes, keep going. It will get better.