Divorce Is Brutal

SeanAOI · 2025-11-19T18:48:30+00:00

Here is another reason why most men are seriously warning against marrying Single Moms.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2025-11-19T17:27:27+00:00

If you’ve been a parental figure for most of a child’s life, imo divorce doesn’t automatically invalidate that. You have a relationship with another human.

Spiritual-Street2793 · 2025-11-19T06:03:48+00:00

Why do you want a divorce?

UnrulyAnteater25 · 2025-11-19T02:05:13+00:00

I was in a similar situation. 5 years later, I still see the kid but not often. He’s a teenager now but i raised him from ages 2-13.

He doesn’t see me as his father anymore, but as a special friend. Maybe like a good uncle. And in the last two years, he’s agreed to go on week-long vacations with me. So don’t give up. Keep asking to see her.

The first few years were very very difficult for me. I was heartbroken. I was grieving for his loss. Losing him was harder than the divorce itself.

But it made me stronger, too. I learned to survive and grow and realized i was too attached to him.

Don’t give up. Keep asking the mom to see her and when she’s old enough, ask her directly. And when you are together, make sure it’s fun for her and not a drag.

apatrol · 2025-11-18T23:10:36+00:00

The kids will likely not be seen post divorce unless she is a very good mom that wants the best for her kids. Then of course will be a likely fade away when she meets someone new.

Putrid-Detail-2933 · 2025-11-18T21:06:57+00:00

Your question was a bit confusing, looks like you've clarified it in the comments.

It is natural to want to continue to see them, issue is whether you can get approval from the mom to do so.

Even if you two get approval, if it's not agreed to and certified by the courts and she may take that away in the future

Factastical · 2025-11-18T20:57:17+00:00

That's your kid buddy. You may not have made her, but you raised them. Once you let her mom go, your relationship will likely be severed

Derelict86 · 2025-11-18T20:56:27+00:00

I feel for you OP.

From the outside view, without knowing any more details of your situation, it looks like you were a sugar trap victim, which is a hybrid situation between a honey trap and sugar dating.

The issue at hand is whether you are deemed a stepparent (most likely) or adoptive parent (I don't think this applies to you but I may be mistaken).

The difference within a legal perspective:

Stepparents: Can seek custody or visitation if they have acted as a parent figure, but they have no automatic right to custody unless they have formally adopted the child. The court will decide based on the child's best interests.

Adoptive parents: Have equal legal rights to their adoptive children, including custody, regardless of the marital status.

NilesGuy · 2025-11-18T20:31:14+00:00

Don’t feel guilty since she is a hot mess. You can’t build a house on a quick sand foundation located on an earthquake prone street. Focus on making better decisions and being the best version of yourself

SonOfTheAfternoon · 2025-11-18T19:51:06+00:00

Cutting contact with kids who called you dad and put their faith and trust in you by your own choice doesn’t make you sound like the good guy in my book

samk002001 · 2025-11-18T19:10:35+00:00

If she’s not done something wrong to you, then you’re the jerk on this one! You hardly give us any meat to see your case.

Title	Divorce Is Brutal
Author	Different_Poet_4196
Upvotes	40
Comments	16
Date	November 18, 2025 6:24 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1p0jmz7/divorce_is_brutal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-is-brutal.1566816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566816

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