Girl I’m talking to completely changed her mind

joggingjunkie · 2025-12-04T06:53:13+00:00

Met online

Different cities

Long Distance relationship

Let this one go homeboy..

Trust me, I get what you want, but that ain't the situation to want it from

Also we tend to be in vulnerable states where shit looks one way but it's another..

Like the song what a fool believes says..

What seems to be is always better than nothing

tonyferguson2021 · 2025-12-04T07:22:30+00:00

Forget about the age thing, it’s just a story. just don’t try to rationalise or argue a case…. When she says ‘you’re too young‘ or something just brush it off, like you know but it doesn’t matter in the least. If you start justifying you’re losing cos you’re in a debate, never debate a woman…

Hold your frame - that you don’t give a fuck about the age gap, just nod and smile and continue, let her see you are not phased by any knock back. But don’t go pestering her either, maybe you need to allow some space for things to emeege

Matter_Still · 2025-12-04T08:25:38+00:00

“We never met each in real life as we met online when I was abroad.”

Uh oh.

extreme_fluffiness · 2025-12-04T07:37:29+00:00

Let it go, mate, too much drama already at the beginning and the age difference will likely become a problem

ThisParticularUser · 2025-12-04T10:03:39+00:00

She was simply bored and you entertained her online. She probably didn't want anything more from the start.
Or maybe she initially saw the probability as 5 percent. If her ex turns out to be a jerk this week, and you were to heat her up through texting...

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-12-04T18:58:55+00:00

It’s over. Appropriate response to “you’re too young for me” is “no prob”. Fact you’re writing this huge post means you care and that’s why it’s over. Not even about the age

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-04T19:31:05+00:00

You fucked up the moment you started to convince her to give you a chance.

When a woman says i don’t think we should, you don’t change her mind, you don’t try to get her to reconsider, you don’t fight for her.

I know it’s tempting to do that because social conditioning from movies and shit makes you believe that a woman is a prize you have to fight for.

But that’s the opposite of what attracts women in reality.

The neediness and chasing mindset only turns women off, and causes them to dinstance themselves more and more the harder you try.

In your mind, your “fight” is perceived as some sort of heroic quest, where you prove your worth to her she will reward you with her love. A linear logic where you think:

“If i prove myself = trophy”

In reality, thats not how it work. It’s the woman who has to prove herself to you if anything, not you to her.

When a man is really a catch, and women perceive him as such, they are the ones fighting for him, trying to get him to commit to them… because their emotions cause them to act that way.

When a woman doesn’t see a man as a catch, she pulls away, she questions her interest for him, she distances herself, gives excuses, and the harder the man tries to change her mind, the more obvious to her that the guy is not a catch.

Because if he was, he wouldn’t be so desperate to get her as he could easily replace her with other attractive wome effortlessly. His happiness wouldn’t depend on her because he could women just as good if not better.

So his desperation is like someone begging:

“please save me you are my only hope! Date me out of pity or whatever, cuz i will never be able to do better than you! All my options, (if he even has options) are crappier than you

So the more you try, the more you sub communicate that you can’t do better than her, and that reinforces the belief that you are not a catch in her eyes.

Movies teach you the opposite, thay fighting for her is not seen as desperate, but some sort of nice guy act that shows his genuine devotion and commitment for her, and as such the woman is supposed to be impressed by that and reward him with love.

Unfortunately, movies are not reality. Women want the guy who wants her but doesn’t need her. Not the guy who needs her and is panicking because wothout her he will have to settle for worst or be alone.

skunkwrxs · 2025-12-04T21:42:56+00:00

If it *REALLY* Doesn't bother you (and keep in mind what a woman wants in a long term partner - provide, protect etc). Then hold your frame. Do not beg whatever you do. Just be cool and focus on yourself. Let her think about what SHE is losing, she is getting older and even if she is amazing, her options for a younger man will diminish. You are young brother and that means you have the most valuable thing in the world, time! You are in a great life position, you just might not realize it yet.

Cheers

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-12-05T03:10:01+00:00

Most women in their 30s are not going to enter a relationship with a guy a couple generations younger. That's like two whole college cycles. Even as a guy, when I got divorced at 32 the 24 year olds I was talking to were too immature and not women I requested a second date. Plenty of people change their minds before meeting or even after dates. Don't worry about it.

LilSkills · 2025-12-04T07:09:20+00:00

Why would you even want to date a woman 8 years older than you? The gap is really big, have you ever considered the possibility that she wants to have kids soon, get married and do other stuff people at her age do?

What about gatherings between friends, it'd be awkward for both of you and her friends, you'll still a child in their eyes. Move on and find someone at least still in their 20s, not their 30s. This type of relationship rarely works.

Pantherist · 2025-12-04T07:39:00+00:00

First of all, stop talking to her. Get busy with other things, and give it at least a week.

If she wants you, she's got to show up. She seems happy doing a virtual relationship on her terms and you have to draw a line on that.

Let her come to you with an offer. If she doesn't, forget it and move on.

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-04T18:38:08+00:00

You fucked up the moment you started to convince her to give you a chance.

When a woman says i don’t think we should, you don’t change her mind, you don’t try to get her to reconsider, you don’t fight for her.

I know it’s tempting to do that because social conditioning from movies and shit makes you believe that a woman is a prize you have to fight for.

But that’s the opposite of what attracts women in reality.

The neediness and chasing mindset only turns women off, and causes them to dinstance themselves more and more the harder you try.

In your mind, your “fight” is perceived as some sort of heroic quest, where you prove your worth to her she will reward you with her love. A linear logic where you think:

“If i prove myself = trophy”

In reality, thats not how it work. It’s the woman who has to prove herself to you if anything, not you to her.

When a man is really a catch, and women perceive him as such, they are the ones fighting for him, trying to get him to commit to them… because their emotions cause them to act that way.

When a woman doesn’t see a man as a catch, she pulls away, she questions her interest for him, she distances herself, gives excuses, and the harder the man tries to change her mind, the more obvious to her that the guy is not a catch.

Because if he was, he wouldn’t be so desperate to get her as he could easily replace her with other attractive wome effortlessly. His happiness wouldn’t depend on her because he could women just as good if not better.

So his desperation is like someone begging:

“please save me you are my only hope! Date me out of pity or whatever, cuz i will never be able to do better than you! All my options, (if he even has options) are crappier than you

So the more you try, the more you sub communicate that you can’t do better than her, and that reinforces the belief that you are not a catch in her eyes.

Movies teach you the opposite, thay fighting for her is not seen as desperate, but some sort of nice guy act that shows his genuine devotion and commitment for her, and as such the woman is supposed to be impressed by that and reward him with love.

Unfortunately, movies are not reality. Women want the guy who wants her but doesn’t need her. Not the guy who needs her and is panicking because wothout her he will have to settle for worst or be alone.

soldat21 · 2025-12-04T15:08:50+00:00

I felt the same way as you when my relationship broke down at 24. There’s “no one like her”, and then I found someone even better at 30.

You’ve got time bro.

eablokker · 2025-12-04T17:14:05+00:00

This is a very common situation where her friends and family will talk her out of it, if you don’t match the socially acceptable idea of what people think they’re supposed to want. It’s valuable to use this situation to learn how to handle it so you can handle it again in the future.

What’s happening is that her ego is going with what her ego thinks it wants, rather then what her true self wants. And likewise her friends and families egos are going with what their egos want. The ego is like a fake persona you put on to appear socially acceptable and please others for your own protection.

You have to bust her out of her ego and get her back into her true self. A standard line for this goes something like this: “What’s the difference between what you think you want, what you’ve trained yourself to believe is the best that you can have, and what would truly fulfill you? Fulfillment is a place where you don’t need the external validation of your friends, family, and peers. You just trust your own feelings and you act on them. You trust that what you’re seeing in front of you is what you truly desire, and you go for it before it becomes somebody else’s reward.”

Title	Girl I’m talking to completely changed her mind
Author	JunkDawgg
Upvotes	9
Comments	41
Date	December 4, 2025 6:48 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pdt7xb/girl_im_talking_to_completely_changed_her_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-im-talking-to-completely-changed-her-mind.1568022 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568022

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