Capable husband, but doesn't do things

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-01-22T17:43:57+00:00

Hire someone. If he won't do it, pay someone else to so that it gets done. If he's okay with that, wonderful. You have a working dryer. If he has a problem with it, he'll start doing stuff himself.

SuperiorLake_ · 2026-01-22T17:23:17+00:00

Are we married to the same man?!? I totally understand the frustration. My husband has ADHD so he struggles to start projects a lot of the time, but it seems like when he does he’s able to fix just about anything. He also jumps right to saying I’m nagging” if I ask. I had to have a heartfelt talk with him that I have to be allowed to ask for things without him automatically labeling it as nagging. I would try to ask like: “if you get a chance sometime today, will you take a look at the dryer? I was hoping to do some laundry.” Sometimes I don’t even bother him and just go about my business working on one of my bigger chores and it seems to unconsciously inspire him to get up and do something of his. Showing a lot of appreciation when he’s done to make him feel accomplished is a big one. That’s actually something I’m working on myself.

Dionne005 · 2026-01-22T22:11:01+00:00

Honestly when it comes to stuff around the house I do it or hire someone to do it. Our dryer went out and I ordered parts but after realizing it still won’t work or my husband couldn’t figure it out either we realized it’s cheaper to buy a dryer on Facebook marketplace and get them to fix everything up. $200

Serious-Antelope8384 · 2026-01-22T20:26:19+00:00

“Hey love, can I ask you something while you’re relaxing?

I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately, and I realized why. When I do our laundry, I’ve been using pliers to work the dryer, and it honestly makes me anxious. I’m worried I could hurt myself.

It would really put me at ease if you could fix it. Would you be able to help with that tonight? Knowing it’s taken care of would help me relax and sleep so much better.”

caitcartwright · 2026-01-23T04:58:40+00:00

Doesn’t it suck that we have to talk to them like a doting mother to a sweet baby, to get them to even listen without the accusation of nagging?

SkinnyJeans44 · 2026-01-22T18:04:49+00:00

easy fix , hire someone to do it , + if it's a male , ++ if he is somewhat attractive as well. You just need to kickstart your man's ego a tiny bit.

Anonymous_fiend · 2026-01-22T23:42:11+00:00

Lol yeah that will technically fix the gopher problem but will cause an even worse problem

clownfacedpills · 2026-01-25T13:31:42+00:00

Do u have another male family member around who’ll do it that’ll get him up lol

AutoModerator · 2026-01-22T17:05:33+00:00

Title: Capable husband, but doesn't do things

Author MajesticShare2232

Full text: So my husband is EXTREMELY capable. I truly believe anything he puts his mind to, he can figure out how to do. He is the second highest person in the plant he works at, so he's not lazy. But how on earth can I encourage him to do things around the house. My dryer has been broken for months and he just ordered the parts 2 weeks ago, but still hasn't been fixed. He didn't do anything this weekend but "relax". I get that he works super hard, but at some point I need him to help step up around the house with some things. I don't want to nag, but I don't know what else to do.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2026-01-22T17:05:35+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page. Include any relevant context regarding religion, culture, living arrangements/LDRs, or other information that will help commenters.
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disappear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.
Within the last year, RedPillWomen has had over half a dozen 'Banned from 'x' subreddit' post for commenting/subscribing to RPW. Moving forwards, the mods will remove these types of posts: 1, 2, 3, 4. We recommend you make a RPW specific account.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Intrepid32 · 2026-01-23T02:45:36+00:00

If your husband says he’ll do something, he’ll do it. There’s no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Aussie_Advice · 2026-01-28T06:35:15+00:00

I suggest you look at the differences between a "rule" an "expectation" and a "boundary". Boundaries don't need to be communicated to be implemented, but in a good relationship, you communicate all 3. Someone else gave the example of hiring someone to fix it, that's an example of a boundary. In a good relationship, you communicate clearly, setting expectations, boundaries and reassigning the mental load; e.g. 'I've hired a person to come and fix it on (date), we can cancel with no fees on (date). Here's the number if you want to fix it yourself and cancel the service'.

Similar_Nail_8566 · 2026-01-23T05:12:13+00:00

Tell him he’s a lazy husband

Altruistic_Tank4627 · 2026-01-22T22:31:42+00:00

This is a VERY common complaint with wives and my mama ALWAYS says this about my step dad😂 mf just getting old.

You can relate, here’s the thing. When a mf work full time, your off time is limited frfr. So you either wanna rest or do shit you enjoy. If he gets vacation time, that would likely work. Take a week off and knock it out first or 2nd day. Then chill rest of the week. That’s when my step dad usually fixes stuff.

But you may have to just hire a mf. Tell him if it don’t get fixed in such n such timeline you gotta hire a mf or replace it. Idk yall finances but whatever is most practical

This is a very common complaint among wives you not alone.

Title	Capable husband, but doesn't do things
Author	MajesticShare2232
Upvotes	21
Comments	39
Date	January 22, 2026 5:05 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1qk05oj/capable_husband_but_doesnt_do_things/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/capable-husband-but-doesnt-do-things.1571744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571744

Comments