Anyone else just feel exhausted…

Worldly_Diver9265 · 2026-03-11T16:22:43+00:00

Listen to me! It takes 6 -12 months to get past this. You are on your way. Woman get over it fast, cause theyve usually have checked out long before. Their regrets may or may not come later, believe me. In the long run, men can fair better. It is very hard to find a good man. You're problem, you dont know your worth. Your healing begins in your mind. Be your own best friend. Pamper yourself. Join a gym, transform. Learn to love being alone and do things by yourself, museums, sporting events, restaurants, walks, pubs, etc.... whatever you love to do. SPOIL YOURSELF....great tickets, great cuts of beef, trips, whatever floats your boat. DO IT! Doing things by yourself builds and shows confidence. Confidence is unbelievably attractive, but it must be genuine. Trust me. Re-invent yourself, be who YOU want to be. The love of your life is out there waiting to meet you. That can't, and won't happen, until you have fully healed. The longer you take to heal, the longer you will keep the trye love of your life waiting. Please, please, please, believe me, your story will have a happy ending! Drop me a line when it does! I love saying I told you so!!!!

MonarchistExtreme · 2026-03-10T18:44:26+00:00

I was that way until our kid begged to live with me full time....been too busy to be exhausted ever since lol

LoveCrispApples · 2026-03-10T10:52:02+00:00

I, too, had a 16-year union dissolve due to her exit affair.

And I remember month 8 very well. It was the first time a woman outside of my ex laid an intimate hand on me. I wasn't ready, not by a long shot, but it showed me that life after death was indeed possible.

I'm now in month 21, and my routine is well underway. There's a lot of black and white living - not a ton of color sometimes - but we make do. I spend most of my time being everything I can be for my full-time daughter, working, reading, cleaning, and seeing a cool woman a couple times a week or when we can. Making my space look and feel my very own and not what was "ours" has helped.

It gets better. Sure, I still think every day of the family unit we had under one roof and the wife I shared it with. But that woman is not who she was, who I thought she was, or who she pretended to be.

Proceed with your new life with vigor.

Tough_Jackfruit_7161 · 2026-03-10T10:24:39+00:00

Im two years in, but im not so much exhausted day to day but rather depressed. Exercise has helped with keeping the energy needed for doing it all solo, found some new guy friends for support, new hobbies etc but hasn't done anything for my confidence or hope for the future.

They say its a season but doesn't feel that way at least to me. Hope it does get better for you.

Character_Pop_6628 · 2026-03-10T09:12:04+00:00

Absolutely. I am 1.5 years in and I can tell you that the exhaustion turns to full-blown depression where you can't get out of bed or clean yourself. Clinical grief. My mariage was 14 years long and the courtship was 9. That's a significant chunk of life. I'm taking Lexapro now and feel much better but I still feel it. Grief happens with death, divorce any major life change. But it happens.

LiteratureStill8647 · 2026-03-10T05:18:12+00:00

Man, yes. I think a lot of us hit that wall once the adrenaline wears off and life settles down enough for the emotional weight to catch up. It’s exhausting because you’re not just living life, you’re carrying grief, stress, and constant mental processing on top of it.

I went through a stretch like that too, and it did eventually start to lift. Be patient with yourself. Take care of yourself. If you ever want to talk it through with someone who gets it, feel free to DM me.

ch0633341 · 2026-03-10T03:44:25+00:00

I found out about affair sept 2024. Still going through divorce and custody court. Im still exhausted. But I also have my two kids to take care of since she abandoned us.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-03-10T02:46:17+00:00

What are you doing to relax, to wind down, to give yourself a break?
Make time for yourself, take a holiday, sleep or whatever works to recharge you.
You won't regret it.

PostTrenchesDad · 2026-03-10T02:40:34+00:00

Eight months out, I remember that exhaustion clearly.

You're right - it's not medical, it's the cumulative weight of rebuilding your entire life while processing the end of 16 years.

Every "normal" task now has extra weight because you're doing it alone AND processing grief at the same time. Grocery shopping isn't just shopping - it's "I used to do this with her." Scheduling appointments isn't just admin - it's "I'm managing everything solo now."

That's exhausting.

The initial adrenaline carries you through the first few months (survival mode). Then it drops, and you're left with the reality that this is your life now, and it takes effort to rebuild. In my case it was also figuring things out that I liked, that I wanted and how things work for myself.

When does it get better?

For me, around the one-year mark things started feeling less heavy. Not because the tasks changed, but because the new routine became actually routine and learning about myself and what works for me

What helped:

Give yourself permission to do less. You don't need to be productive every moment. Rest is part of rebuilding.

Let some things be good enough. The house doesn't need to be perfect. Leftovers for dinner are fine. You're doing more than you think.

Move your body even when you don't want to. Even a 15-minute walk helps with the mental fog.

This exhaustion is normal. You're processing years of relationship while building a new life. That's heavy work.

It does get lighter. Keep going.

Empress1978 · 2026-03-10T02:14:42+00:00

Brother, welcome to the club. It’s always exhausting. But it gets better. I’m over a year out and I’m no longer ever exhausted. I’m busier and happier than I’ve ever been yet have more energy at 38 than I did at 30 when I was fighting for survival daily. I was also 16 years total 8 married and I didn’t know how much freer I could be. You think you have the great life and have to suck it up. Nope. Just keep going and hang in there.

Title	Anyone else just feel exhausted…
Author	TheMindfulWarrior9
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	March 10, 2026 2:09 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rpkbv2/anyone_else_just_feel_exhausted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-else-just-feel-exhausted.1575115 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575115

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