Reliving the divorce

FUMoney · 2026-03-27T12:58:38+00:00

Therapist says to put fiancé and her kids first but I can’t

Fire this shitbag "therapist." They all suck.

KingJon85 · 2026-03-26T21:06:45+00:00

Being a man is brutal sometimes. Im thinking about going off grid but I wouldn't survive for a week.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-26T15:54:11+00:00

> -Therapist says to put fiancé and her kids first but I can’t

Your therapist sucks. You put yourself first, like putting on your oxygen mask first on a plane. You're the captain of your ship. If your fiancé doesn't like the ride, she can get off.

> silver lining is I have great relationship with my two other daughters and they still come over

You're winning fatherhood. There is no better outcome than this.

koolllG_uy1911 · 2026-03-26T14:58:50+00:00

Why in christ name would you take up two more kids?

Your own children always come first before anyone else. That therapist needs to retire.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2026-03-26T14:42:59+00:00

Accountability time.

This is self inflicted. Learn to be alone. Learn to be a parent. I’d suspect you’re co-dependent. Your therapist isn’t helping. Find a new one.

You need to figure out why you’ve made the choices you’ve made.

Should have never let the exwife move with the kids to Cali. You should have never jumped into a new relationship let alone one with kids that you’re not fond of.

Bad bad bad all around. Time to start learning about yourself and learn about boundaries and enforcing boundaries

HereinPA1 · 2026-03-26T14:42:21+00:00

Similar to other commenters, I had a emotional/physical reaction to reading this.

My man, why in the world would you continue down the path, heck why start it, of getting married again? You and YOUR kids are the only things that matter.

If it’s this horrible and you’re not legally connected to the fiancé, cut bait and reclaim your life. It’s only going to get worse for you if you marry this person.

Stock-Associate-7957 · 2026-03-26T14:32:43+00:00

Christ. Sorry to hear it. Was reading this and got all the usual physical anxiety symptoms kick in, purely at the mental prospect of ending up close to my ex and dealing with this again after I'm closer to full freedom. I've had some of this (from the other side of the globe, but still).

I don't have much advice, other than to continue to cherish and focus on your kids. You know this, and thats why the relationship is so great with the non-defiants! (Again, lived experience, so I do feel able to joke here, sorry!)

This remains the one thing I turn to to keep me sane, most days, still and I've the same feelings for my two.

Keep being authentic and consistent with the 3rd and they'll see/feel the differences between parents over time. Mine is younger so ymmv, but thankfully worked for me. Also, ask to feed into any medical assessments/process to ensure she's not able to stroll into funemployment at your and, more importantly; their future expense.

And, well, worst comes to worst, you'll manage it again. Agreed, more complex this time round, so prioritise your mental focus/energy and try to live healthily, if you don't already (wish I had!)

Move all comms with their mum to email or parenting app (which is even better/more manageable/trackable than email).

Otherwise, god speed, my man. Hope you escape the drama, then reflexively kick it in the dick whenever it approaches in future. Life shouldn't be this hard, but...

UrAristotle · 2026-03-26T14:21:50+00:00

So much there

I feel bad for you man

And then your therapist tells you to put fiancé and her kids first? Fire that therapist.

But now the honest question—wtf are you even thinking about marriage?

warwww · 2026-03-26T14:10:19+00:00

Therapist said to put fiancée and her kids first?

YellowLT · 2026-03-26T13:54:24+00:00

Never go to CA, especially dont get married there

Title	Reliving the divorce
Author	berzerker5000
Upvotes	9
Comments	21
Date	March 26, 2026 1:42 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1s47tk1/reliving_the_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/reliving-the-divorce.1576436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576436

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