Is femininity natural, or something that needs to be taught?

die_eating · 2026-04-15T13:12:21+00:00

The feminine and the masculine are both innate in all of us. One can lean into one or the other. One can cultivate both sides of themselves. To be well-rounded, one should find what is their natural inclination, seek to understand it, and strive to balance that out by developing the inverse side.

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-04-15T13:07:15+00:00

I don't think either conclusion that femininity is natural or taught is wholly correct. There are some feminine traits that are natural, such as nurturing our young. I don't like kids. I never have. I have five children, though, and I adore them all. It is totally natural for me to comfort and cuddle my children... but keep anyone else's away from me.

I'm also drawn toward more feminine pursuits like, cleaning and organizing, doing crafts and cooking. Are these natural? It would be easy to say no, that society has trained me for these tasks, but these are the roles women have fulfilled in almost every culture since the beginning of time. So I'd say it's natural for me to lean toward them, but my personal interest probably has a fair amount to do with my upbringing and my desire for normalcy and stability.

Meanwhile, I have no idea how to do hair, have just recently found a way to do my nails that I consider to be worth the time and effort, and think a lot of trends women fall into are stupid. I don't especially like hanging out in big groups of women and would prefer to be with a mixed group of friends or my own nuclear family. I'd rather stick bamboo shoots under my nails than talk about my feelings for an extended period of time. So, generally, I'd say there are some base level characteristics of men and women we have labeled feminine or masculine, along with some surface level stuff that varies by culture. You can't really say it's all one or the other.

AnonTheGreat01 · 2026-04-15T13:39:21+00:00

I would say femininity is like talent. You have some of it naturally but if you don’t put conscious effort into improving, it will never become impressive.

Also I would add is that part of the process is deprogramming some of the masculine habits you picked up that diminish your femininity.

Lurk-Prowl · 2026-04-15T14:27:41+00:00

I think it’s natural, but some cultures and societies are trying to actively unteach it which appears to me unnatural and a bad thing

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-04-15T14:21:41+00:00

Something can be natural and still be taught, like language. Would you say learning to speak is natural or is it “just society” forcing you to learn language? Is reading and writing unnatural? Feral children don’t develop language so it’s not that innate, but all societies develop language. Humans are social/exist in groups. To say that something is not natural because it’s part of our social or cultural fabric is to misunderstand what it is to be human.

For a personal note, there were some traditionally feminine and submissive qualities I sort of naturally expressed as a child that my mother absolutely stomped on whenever I said or did something she considered unfeminist.

And I agree “femininity” is a spectrum and how women embody it will not be one fixed standard. Like literally everything else about humans.

plutosounds · 2026-04-15T13:16:20+00:00

it is natural. Some girls are more feminine than others. The same is with men. Hormones play a big role too. If a men boosts his testosterone levels, he will become more masculine. Other factors also do play a role, but if someone tells you it is a cultural thing, it‘s not correct. Culture is maybe on of those little side factors, but it doesn‘t have a big influence.

Woman feel the best when they live in their feminine nature/frame and men feel the best, when they are living in their masculine frame energy.

And this is what creates attraction between men and woman.

CountTheBees · 2026-04-16T13:49:38+00:00

Submission, frankly, doesn't need to be taught. Even men submit to superior men. What does need to be taught, or rather untaught, is the attitude of women who think emulating masculine behaviour will achieve their relationship goals.

On RPW we treat submission as a strategy for achieving goals. I would recommend you read all the discussion in the comments as well as it is a perfect primer to the tone and understanding of RP on RPW.

Nature vs nurture is a fascinating topic aside from strategy, and I believe femininity is innate. For one, women are hypergamous, men are not. This drives us to seek better men than ourselves which we can submit to and the men in turn seek a woman who will respect and admire them, whom they will protect. It doesn't mean men are superior or worthy of submission overall, it just means that the men you are attracted to are superior to you in some way that satisfies your hypergamy.

Raising someone to be submissive is missing the point for me, submissive to whom?

vintagegirlgame · 2026-04-15T13:27:05+00:00

In today’s western culture femininity is not being naturally encouraged… our whole economic system is masculine and women are expected to be part of the masculine workforce. Plus lack of feminine role models. So a young girl’s natural femininity often gets squashed or covered up. We have to unlearn a lot to become our natural feminine selves.

xo_pearl_princessxox · 2026-04-15T13:53:59+00:00

Biologically men have more masculine traits (I guess leading? Being more dominant? nd more ) and women have more feminine traits (nurturing, and more) Sorry I can't think of examples - But the dressing up, that type of Femininity isn't biological obviously so it's "taught" - Of course many women enjoy makeup and traditionally feminine things but many don't.. same goes for men with that and other things.

As for being soft spoken etc some women just naturally are more like that, but they can NOT be and still be feminine.

xangeloffduty · 2026-04-16T09:18:41+00:00

In my view, there are different flavors of femininity, it is not one size fits all (mother, maiden, huntress, oracle, etc. if you want to go by archetypes).

Women embody different "archetypes" at different points in their lives, and femininity changes.

I do think by virtue of being woman you are feminine. The feminine is the essence of womanhood, again in my view, hence why a man can perform the actions of being a woman but never actually be a woman and viceversa.

Vast-Society4093 · 2026-04-15T21:21:24+00:00

To be honest that debate isn’t far off from what I’ve witness but that person said it in a way it could be misinterpreted.

Some feminine traits can be taught some are ingrained. I believe fathers heavily shape how feminine their daughters will be even they are not really teaching them. I have female friends who are on very good terms with their fathers, who spoils them , listen to them , protect and support them are very feminine and nurturing. These people grew up to be well balanced over all. They also never had problems spotting bad men but still have positive views on men. They are never outright „men hater „ too.

I am pro nuclear family with an active father. They are essential for raising of sons and daughters along with their supportive mother too.

AutoModerator · 2026-04-15T11:54:25+00:00

Title: Is femininity natural, or something that needs to be taught?

Author Sure-Material2129

Full text: Recently I came across a debate where someone said he would want to teach his daughter to be feminine.

Someone questioned this by asking if femininity is something women are naturally inclined toward then why does it need to be taught? Wouldn’t that make it more of a social expectation than something natural?

In response, he argued that no one is naturally feminine or masculine, and that everything has to be learned and ‘groomed’ in a person.

This got me thinking:

Are traits we call ‘feminine’ actually natural tendencies, or mostly shaped by upbringing and culture?

If femininity includes submission or following a partner’s lead, is that something that should be taught?

Don’t women have different personalities and relationship dynamics? If so does it make sense to treat femininity as one fixed standard?

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Regular-Cabinet-203 · 2026-04-15T22:36:09+00:00

Both. The natural inclination must be encouraged.

SunRose42 · 2026-04-20T13:52:11+00:00

Like most traits, I think it’s a bit of both, and how “natural” it is for each person varies person to person.

Say that the “feminine” traits are care, nurture, softness, meekness, elegance, gentleness, grace, social prowess, emotional intelligence, etc. Some women lean this way naturally. And studies + personal experience suggests to me that most women probably score higher on these traits than men without consciously trying to (which itself is probably a combination of nature and subconscious social influence). And still others, like me, have to work incredibly hard to be even a little bit feminine (I naturally lean pretty masculine just in my dispositions). None of that came naturally to me lol and at age 29 I’m still learning.

A flip side I feel like we don’t often talk about: I think everyone needs both masculinity and femininity. The point of being feminine is you just make the feminine virtues more your project than the masculine ones. But as humans we should still be strong, brave, just, etc.—we just don’t have to be to the same degree as or as urgently as men. And men need to know how to be soft, gentle, caring, nurturing, etc., to their partner and kids at minimum.

32vromeo · 2026-04-21T17:05:00+00:00

It’s a fair question but I think it’s more natural than we want to acknowledge, especially living in today’s societal structure where women are encouraged to take on masculine virtues and guys adapt to the conveniences of new age tech. 100 years ago, we were coming out of a nasty war and everyone couldn’t help but to value gender roles without question. In other words, people were obliged to follow their gendered roles and weren’t confused with the nonsense we have today

thepoststructuralist · 2026-04-21T21:59:51+00:00

it’s not natural, it’s a social construct

Ancient_Internal7797 · 2026-04-24T15:52:47+00:00

Feminine girls are born like that. Tom boys are also born like that

daisy_plum · 2026-04-15T22:32:50+00:00

It's something that certain ppl are more naturally socialised by, I think it's fine to teach but I don't think it's okay to force it onto anyone

jaydeke · 2026-04-20T22:38:31+00:00

I believe children will model what they grow up with, and that will be expressed in appearances, mannerisms, and ways of speaking.

The feminine nature, the feminine genius, etc that’s all intrinsic and natural to the person.

I also believe what this man is saying can be taught. I was a model as a child and spent some time in finishing classes. I have a much more “feminine expression” in how I exist in the world than my sister, who did not. She definitely has the more sensitive and nurturing “feminine nature” between us, though.

satonmywindow · 2026-05-30T19:23:40+00:00

Its because its bs, every human is the same at birth, its up to you to brave enough to realise you can do whatever you want.

That_Difference_7638 · 2026-04-15T14:42:59+00:00

TBH if a dad said to me he wanted to groom his daughters into „natural femininity“, I’d keep my eye on that kid pretty close and the phone in my hand. And I’d probably inform others.

I do hope he’s a man of God and sincere and without ill intent in his ways.

Why do I have a problem with that statement? A man/dad cannot „teach“ a daughter femininity. How could he? He might inspire her femininity to bloom- set the stage, so to say- by leading with his healthy masculinity, taking responsibility as a father to protect and provide for her. If he meant ANYTHING other than that- I’d assume he has VERY wicked ways, and act accordingly.

Brief-Description938 · 2026-04-15T16:00:11+00:00

Some of it's natural, but "feminine" is mostly cultural. It changes a lot. Pushing submission feels off. People should find what fits them.

curious_follower_ · 2026-04-15T12:48:25+00:00

It’s all cultural of course, and we learn it. If there’s anything that women are naturally inclined towards then it’s a feeling of wanting to support rather than lead, but the specifics of what that looks like have to be learned.

I like thinking of it this way. Like every man’s idea of what femininity looks like will be slightly different, and what I can bring is openness and a willingness to learn what he needs.

Title	Is femininity natural, or something that needs to be taught?
Author	Sure-Material2129
Upvotes	27
Comments	43
Date	April 15, 2026 11:54 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1sm3vau/is_femininity_natural_or_something_that_needs_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-femininity-natural-or-something-that-needs-to.1578008 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578008

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