Not long after my divorce petition went in I dabbled on some dating apps. It was too soon and after I hooked up with someone, I called it off because I wasn't over my ex. This hookup continued to message me, and recently in a moment of weakness I went on a second date with her - telling her that I didn't want to get into anything serious at all and that I wanted to take it much slower than last time. I think that may have just been my way of saying 'no' without actually saying it.

She's successful, interesting and interested in me - but she has been messaging me multiple times a day, proposing to meet daily, etc. The problem is, unless I'm feeling horny or envious of other couples, I don't want a relationship at all - let alone with her.

Part of me is simply relishing in the fact this well educated, successful lady wants to lavish attention on me - particularly after all the shit my ex put me through with a dead bedroom, infidelity and then spending all our counselling sessions trashing everything from how boring I was to how ugly I looked.

I think my initial gambit of having a few dates worked - I got some validating attention - but now I find myself caught between the desire for a warm body and a considerate person, and the obvious fact that I should not be in any kind of relationship this early, and if I were then it would be with someone different to this person. The fear of rejecting companionship after I have been cast aside by my ex?

I feel like I'm basically asking for sanction to tell this person 'no, this really isn't working out after all' - but I'm also asking for reassurance that it's both the right thing to do, and that it will still work out OK.

EDIT: Texted her 'Thank you for the good times but we're just operating on different wavelengths, it's been remarkable but this is goodbye for real' then deleted and blocked.