Found out today

eratosthenes777 · 2026-05-09T03:03:33+00:00

Look the law of your state my lawyer told me to by a listening device. It's all black about the size of a poker chip. 6gb last days on charge can be easily hidden under a pc or somethings doesn't move much. It only records when here noise and makes each different instance in separate files. Judge heard everything she said about me to my son. In my stated we are permitted to record audio in our own house. Best idea ever. Then if you are in house together fits in you pocket easy and if she starts an argument boom now you Gabe it for your attorney. No lights just a usb-port and on off switch extremely discreet

darmitage55 · 2026-05-08T15:03:14+00:00

Man, that's a gut punch. Five years old and already being used as a weapon.

Document everything your son says, word for word, with dates. Don't coach him, don't ask leading questions. Just write it down right after it happens. That record matters more than you know.

Impossible-Alarm-336 · 2026-05-08T12:39:26+00:00

That’s tough! I’m still cohabiting with stbx, after telling our youngest it’s time to turn off the shows, daughter tells stbx “daddy is being mean” to which she replies “I know sweetie I’m sorry” so she’s starting early. I have that one documented

TheDavenessPhD · 2026-05-08T11:35:50+00:00

You're not alone, brother. We're here with you.

The best thing you can do for your son, and yourself, is be the most present, consistent, awesome dad he's ever seen. Kids are not fools. He'll know.

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2026-05-08T04:26:00+00:00

Eat it.

There is no other way.

This is a classic 3 way choice:
1. Win 2. Be Right 3. Fight

I want to win. You probably do too.

So. Be a better dad. Laugh at her shit. Do not respond to any of it. Don’t engage. Don’t have this discussion with your kid. ‘That’s funny’ and change the subject. When you convey to him that this is 100% bs in your heart he will feel that and act accordingly. It’s real when you make them see it’s real to you.

Say nice things about his mom. More than usual but not fake or like a weirdo. You’re above this. You’re better than this. You’re smart enough to know that every kid deserves a loving dad and mom. Do everything to give him that.

Win.

Fit-Plenty8777 · 2026-05-08T03:04:09+00:00

I would not confront her again unless you need to document something specific. She will deny it and your don may feel caught in the middle. Just become impossible to mislabel. Stay calm with. Keep showing up. Read to him. Play with him. Let him feel safe with you. Do not talk bad about her back, even when you know she is doing it to you.

A 5- year old may repeat what he hears, but over tomorrow he will believe what he consistently experiences. Your job is to make your time with him so steady and real that the lie has nowhere to land.

Reflog1791 · 2026-05-07T19:18:29+00:00

Be the man you want to be and these bottom feeders can’t tell you shit.

Been there done that brother. Nothing anybody can say will form the opinion of the child you are raising.

Some live in boyfriend told my kid “your dad doesn’t care about you.” I laughed when my kid relayed it to me.

My tips are read to the kid in bed every night you have them and coach their sports teams. Nobody can say shit about you and if they do it is obvious they are lying.

warwww · 2026-05-07T17:59:03+00:00

Time. Time is often the only way to counteract this.

This is why so many abusive parents often aim for full custody.

Who then can counteract the poison being pumped into the mind of a kid?

Time and the fact that your kid can see that you are nothing as the parent describes is the antidote to this sick ailment.

painfulletdown · 2026-05-07T17:33:09+00:00

there's a sub for this on reddit, but you do need to take steps to counter it and keep your childrens love. mine went from loving me to hating me and still trying to get them back to prior levels. read the books by Amy Baker. i think my kids would have been less alienated if i had read those sooner

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-05-07T15:27:59+00:00

Don't worry about it, it always backfires and it will push your son closer to you. Just keep crushing it as a dad and both you and your son are golden.

That's the beauty of being a single dad. Nothing your ex does matters, you are 100% in control of every outcome in your life from now on.

123flocko · 2026-05-07T15:08:19+00:00

Like /u/Comfortable-Angle660 said, it's probably not worth it to get confrontational with her. I made that mistake too many times. Trying to prove some point. Useless.

Document. The one thing I did right was record altercations. I have over 200 recordings spanning 2 years.

Get your son to a therapist, even if he isn't feeling or acting weird, and doesn't seem damaged it proves that you're protecting him.

I would add, just love your son. Be gentle and understanding with him. He'll figure it out. Kids have some uncanny ability to see the truth.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-05-07T14:56:46+00:00

Document, get a child psychologist involved, get a report, go for full custody.

I don’t believe it was in your best interest to confront her. Unfortunately, you need to prove she is unfit, and the only way to do so it to allow this to continue.

The ex did this to me, but it has backfired a lot, to the point that my son cries when he has to go to her place. Eventually he will stay with me full time. I don’t care what anyone says, no child needs an unfit parent.

Title	Found out today
Author	No_Chemistry8953
Upvotes	22
Comments	12
Date	May 7, 2026 2:47 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1t6cqox/found_out_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/found-out-today.1579805 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579805

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