I usually make sure that the woman I'm having sex with orgasms at least once before I cum. The woman's pleasure is important to me and I want them to feel good since I think it's only fair. This has resulted in all of my previous partners being very satisfied and coming back for more. I've even had a one night stand with a girl who told me she came 4 times within 20 minutes. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm just providing context that I'm not a selfish lover and clearly know a thing or two about pleasing women in bed.

However, I'm unable to get my current girlfriend to orgasm no matter what. I've tried fingering her, eating her out for 30 minutes straight, having rough sex, gentle sex, putting a pillow underneath her during missionary, using a vibrator, and everything in between. But she's never orgasmed even once in the 8 months that we've been together. She clearly enjoys the sex we have because she makes a lot of noises and leaves the sheets completely soaked with her juices. Plus, she has a very high sex drive and will initiate more than half the time. Despite all that, she's never orgasmed with me, and in fact she's never orgasmed with any guy during sex. She also doesn't like it when I touch her clit because she says it's too sensitive, but this seems to directly contradict the fact that 99% of women I've talked to say they require clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

At first I was very understanding and it didn't bother me because I figured she would eventually cum when she was ready. But it's been almost a year now and this is starting to seriously frustrate me. She assures me that she doesn't have to orgasm and it doesn't make her feel unsatisfied. But I still really want her to cum, and I feel like sex is now just becoming less enjoyable for me because I'm so fixated on trying to make her orgasm, and delaying my own pleasure and orgasms in the process. Our sex on average now lasts 45 minutes to over an hour because I'm trying everything under the sun to make her cum. As a man it makes me feel like a failure when I can't make my girlfriend cum, especially with all the social media discourse shaming men for being selfish lovers, not knowing where the clit is, etc. On the other hand I'm worried that fixating on this will negatively affect our sex life, and make her feel pressured which will even further reduce the chances of her orgasming. Should I continue trying to make her cum, or just accept that it's not going to happen and focus on my own pleasure?