As a younger woman, feminism has quite accurately screwed me over. (Rant)

TempestTcup · 2014-07-27T18:35:50+00:00

I know tons of young people getting into committed relationships, why can't you? I don't think it's necessarily all the free sex going around, I think that you may be going for men way out of your league. Try being open to men older and men who may not meet all of your criteria.

Much like RPW are made and not found in the wild, a lot of TRP are also made by finding them young and encouraging them to be the best man possible. If you are unable to find the perfect "high value, dominant guy" then find a man who loves you and encourage him to be higher value and more dominant by being high value yourself and by being more submissive.

Basically, you want a man in the top 1% of men; are you in the top 1% of women?

FloranHunter · 2014-07-27T18:31:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MisterMisogyny · 2014-07-27T18:25:23+00:00

The moment I tell men I am not going to have sex with them unless I am in a committed relationship with them, they lose interest and leave.

This is a good thing. The ones that are leaving are not interested in a committed relationship. They just dont have to bother to lie to you about it because it's easier to get elsewhere.

2014-07-28T04:18:19+00:00

This is not a "poor you" scenario. A RPW should not whine about the poor circumstances but rather work to beat them.

There are possibly multiple reasons why you aren't finding an LTR right now:

One: Small dating pool. The smaller the dating pool, the harder it can be to find a person because of less variation. Also, couples tend to form quickly in small towns, so there are likely many established couples that shrinks your dating pool further.

Two: You're being impatient. You want a relationship right now and are frustrated you're not getting it immediately. You're going to be moving, which means it's not the time to start a relationship that would likely become an LDR, which is extremely difficult to work with. You should wait until after you've moved and have settled in a bit so that you have a larger dating pool to work with. It will be easier to find someone who is also willing to go for an LTR because there will be more of a diversity in attitudes. Focus on self-improvement for now.

Three: You're being too picky. Yes, this really can be a problem. You may have too high of standards and maybe be going for men too far out of your league. Does this guy have to be your age? Are you looking for an absolute Mr. Perfect? You may need to change your standards a bit and focus on a man you can build up rather than looking for a pre-built man or look for someone a bit older than yourself who is going to be more interested in an LTR (I'm 19 and my SO is 27, for instance).

Four: You're not bringing enough to the table. Are you offering these young men enough that they'll feel it's worthwhile to give up random hookups with attractive women? More than just your appearance matters in an LTR. You need to be able to show them that an LTR with a good woman will be more positive than they think. They're disenchanted with relationships because of what they've experienced and heard. You have to be the exception that makes them say "Hey, being in a relationship is actually pretty nice" not only during the honeymoon stage, but throughout the LTR.

Don't stress about the guys who immediately walk away at the mention of LTRs. The fact they walk away immediately tells you "this man would not make a good captain." It's a way to weed out the men you don't want to be with. You assume because you're not disenchanted with relationships that they're not allowed to not want an LTR, which is wrong.

elevul · 2014-07-27T20:10:19+00:00

And as always you only talk about the top 20% you see, that actually benefits sexually from this, not the other 80% of males who don't benefit from this sluttiness, because women don't even see them.

sibby94 · 2014-07-30T15:28:09+00:00

Its more likely your personality they don't like. Maybe you're a 4 aiming for 10's. My guy friends have mostly agreed they'd have sex with a 4 but wouldn't date less than a 7. Maybe you're one of those women you likely bitch about that 'don't like nice guys'. Either way, its not other women stopping you getting a boyfriend, stop deluding yourself and trying to place blame on others. Secondly and most importantly DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DATE A GUY THAT'S ONLY COMMITTING TO GET REGULAR SEX? I have no trouble finding nice attractive men who want to commit. I had a choice between 3 when I chose my boyfriend. Consider being a nice person and calling girls whores less, guys find bitterness off putting.

Luke666808g · 2014-07-28T13:09:06+00:00

No offense but you've gotta start owning your failure and quit blaming everything on feminism, if you frantically seek commitment like you are you'll just chase away all the men who might have been interested, having the commitment talk is a boner kill, regardless if he's open to a LTR or not.

You're going to have to read up the way men think.

( I always recommend this site: anewmode.com )

Evenstar22 · 2014-07-27T21:57:44+00:00

Hey! Don't insult the cock riding whores. I am an RP, and I am one. It just happens to be my husbands.

In all seriousness though, I feel your pain. If it's any consolation, high value dominant men do exist for women in their mid 20's. Hang in there, hold out for the high value man you want, and work on making yourself worth it ;)

2014-07-29T05:57:07+00:00

If you choose to withhold sex so that the man must work harder in order to sleep with you, you have to present some kind of value to compensate for the extra effort on his part. What do you bring to the table that would make a man want to abandon his instinct to have sex with as many girls as possible and ONLY have sex with you? It's just like any other type of competition: if you want to win, you have to stand out.

Lemminger · 2014-07-27T20:51:16+00:00

I am a man but I have two things to add. First the guys you are talking about are the alphas - if you wanted to you could find a beta man to wrap around your little finger. But you don't want to, you want an alpha, right? Or are you unattractive?. Second slutty girls do have a slutty vibe to them, and most guys do pick up on that after some time eg. long term commitment. Feel free to comment and correct me as I do not know your world.

Gyaltso · 2014-07-30T20:15:12+00:00

Be the woman that he can build a family with. Men won't really care if you are a "good girl" if you're not mommy material.

AFPJ · 2014-08-01T21:18:28+00:00

throw out sex without working for commitment.

Sex is now a commodity easily attainable elsewhere for the top 20% of men, putting the value of yours at zero.

The moment I tell men I am not going to have sex with them unless I am in a committed relationship with them, they lose interest and leave.

You're bartering with something of zero value to the top 20%, naturally they walk from a shitty deal. Femininity, attractiveness and chasteness are now prerequisites, bringing something besides your vagina to the table is a requirement for securing commitment of a man who satisfies your hypergamy. Improve yourself to attract and keep the kind of man you desire or settle with one who values sex with you because he can't readily get it elsewhere.

tradmarriageftw · 2014-07-27T19:19:30+00:00

I know where you are coming from, this how I felt before I met my husband. I feel very lucky to met somebody my age with my same values. What really helped me was broadening my circles, outside of the city and more into the suburbs. Do you live in a small town or city? How do you meet guys?

2014-07-28T14:27:09+00:00

They're out there! Lots of people want commitment. Avoid the guys that don't. Don't stick around with those leading you on.

Where are you looking?

2014-07-29T13:29:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

haiimaperson · 2014-07-27T19:57:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WilIjR · 2014-07-27T23:50:45+00:00

Perhaps the majority of men in your age group feel that way, but not all. I went on a lot of first dates with guys my age (20-23) that lead nowhere because I wouldn't go home with them. These were mainly guys met at the gym, or people my friends set me up with. For a long time, I never thought I'd find another relationship after my high school sweetheart and I ended things. Then one day, I met my SO. I was waiting for my class to start and had passed him on the stairs outside. Well, he followed me. We chatted for a few minutes and asked for my number. We went to a diner after our classes were over and shared breakfast for dinner. Been together for almost 3 years now. Good men don't just appear out of thin air. They're there. I think that different situations of meeting provide a different connotation. Meeting a man 5 years older in a college campus probably seems unlikely, but grad students are frequently in their late 20s. I think the combination of him being older, and us meeting in a "neutral zone" if you will, is a lot of why things worked so well.

But more than that, the person you're with has to see something worth the pursuit. My SO once told me (albeit, drunkenly) that when he first saw me, he just wanted to sleep with me. Keep in mind, I was not dressed for attention, I was wearing sweats and a hoody. But he thought I was pretty so he wanted me. It was talking to me, and getting to know me, that made him want a relationship with me after our first date. Perhaps you just haven't met someone who sees that thing about you that says "yep this one is worth it."

2014-07-28T01:25:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TempestTcup · 2014-07-28T21:21:28+00:00

So thanks a lot feminism and cock riding whores. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be able to find a high value, dominant guy who actually wants a relationship (would this be the "male unicorn?" Note: I am in no ways blaming men for their actions - they have every right to take advantage of the plentiful sex they can get. I'm just saying it bums me out because I feel like I'll never be able to find a decent man who will want to date me.

Personally (i.e. not all too objective here) I'm getting the sense that you're not really aware of what your objective is and starting point is. Your post starts speaking of men generally but then we get to the paragraphs I quoted which makes a discordant sound. Even you are aware of it using the rather fitting standard term "male unicorn".

OK I'll stop talking in circles and explain: you are talking about getting a decent man but what you really seem to mean is you want a top percentage guy. There's nothing wrong with that, I am not criticising you. But you seem to have a problem that feminism somehow removes any chance of you as a decent girl to get the top guy. In other words what you're really not liking is the 80/20 dynamic working against you, something that I hate to tell you feminism has nothing to do with. At most I'd say it has raised the cost of attention in terms of what you have to give up sexually, but that top 20% of natural alphas and greater betas still have the same standards for what you need to bring for commitment, not give up.

So in a practical sense you don't have a problem: you are the problem. You talk about getting a guy from the larger pool of decent men that aren't blue-pill but when we get down to it what you're really wishing for is the male unicorn.

What I see is a woman that accepts the red pill in theory but practically is still pretty much hypergamous and can't stand the sociosexual pain of having to earn the commitment (or even the attention) of a guy of her SMV and rues that she will only be a notch in the bedpost of a guy with high SMV.

What you have a problem with is accepting reality and consequences and trying to use feminism as a scapegoat. Deal with yourself, which doesn't even necessarily mean change. But you will simply have to swallow down the reality which you are obviously aware of that your chance of landing a male unicorn are very low if you stick to that tactic, or work on yourself and getting rid of the princess mentality.

I generally try and finish with some decent advice, I think a few links to some of Susan Walsh's posts are in order: http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/08/27/relationshipstrategies/choose-attraction/ http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/06/08/relationshipstrategies/in-this-battle-of-the-sexes-women-need-to-blink-first/ http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/06/11/hookinguprealities/why-nice-guys-ignore-the-girls-they-like/ http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/08/25/relationshipstrategies/how-to-find-a-great-guy/

Now a word of warning: lately "Auntie Giggles" (a derogatory term by the manosphere for Susan Walsh) has earned her bad nickname because she's gone rather purple pill. Personally I explain the purple pill that some women through admitting the red pill reality can demand a return to the blue pill under the guise that this time guys: this time it'll work and women will play "fair" and follow the rules of classic blue pill. But in general she still has alot of good things to say: just pay attention to the fact she's excellent at analysis but her advice lately is pretty purple pill, in some instances even blue. Her old stuff (pre 2013) is pretty darn good RPW reading though.

2014-07-30T17:04:51+00:00

I agree with a lot of the posters here. You need to separate "commitment" and "good commitment." Do you really want to be committed to a guy whose primary interest in you is your vagina?

ishx · 2014-07-31T01:23:05+00:00

Heh, thing is, high value men(you mean good-looking men) never had to commit to women to have sex. I know of older high value men who work lame jobs , guys who are 50 and upwards and they are always sleeping with attractive women who are 25-40, and they have their expenses paid by women.

And I know of many high value young men who have a girlfriend to support them financially and they sleep with many women on the side. Is that what you want, because that's what most attractive men are doing, and the men who aren't attractive but have money are heading to the nearest brothel. Trust me, I've worked and met many men with power and most have had mistresses or would visit a brothel every chance they got, and if you think you can marry one of these guys and extract a nice child-support and alimony check, you are dearly mistaken because I don't know one man in his 20s, 30s, 40,s 50s, who is interested in marriage and co-habitation, and I've met hundreds of men(and women).

venturecapitalcat · 2014-07-31T09:14:07+00:00

yeah that'd be a male unicorn but now its a relic of the past.

Im not alone though as a guy saying I'd want someone for more than just their body, even if its just once in a while and only for a little bit at a time

Unpopular but realistic hard truth: go for the betas. That's right, the 80% (or even 90%) that don't satisfy your hypergamous needs. No they;re no the 20%, 10% and definately not 1% alpha's that you'll want. But the latter is already spoilt by the free market. There are a ton of beta's who'd love what you'd want.

Yeah you wouldn't want them, but you have a shot into turning him into a redpill man.

squishles · 2014-07-27T23:47:51+00:00

I get this, as an rp guy i'm seeing it fron the other side, when i'm seeing a girl if sex or something doesn't come along soon I lose interest because with sex being so available to her I refuse to work for what others get for free.

eatplaycrush · 2014-07-27T20:01:27+00:00

Wait until you move out of your small town bubble because in all honesty all you have to go off of is what's around you now from what I've been reading in your posts.

I'm 22 and have been in an LTR for the last few years. My best friend is 23 and has also been in an LTR for the same amount of time practically as I. An old friend I used to be close with, who is also more submissive/feminine, is a year older then I and getting married. So, you can't exactly use age as an excuse. You only have experience being around guys from your small town? So, how would you know what's truly out there?

There are plenty of men in this age bracket that want a relationship as well as there are plenty who don't. Be the women to show them what value you'll add to their life because if you're not then even the ones who want an LTR won't want you. My SO is 6 years older so maybe try to meet someone slightly older, but the other two women I referenced are dating men in our same age bracket. I know so many females from my HS class that already are married and/or have children with their spouses. It's not really age, like I said and others have said.

throwawaymuffeater · 2014-08-06T23:29:53+00:00

Its pretty simple. As a rp male, I have a rule: if she doesn't out out, neither do I. Put yourself in our shoes: why would you pay for dinner, shower a woman with gifts and such of she isn't having sex with you? Its one thing if she splits the bills and gives as many gifts as she receives. That is understandable, I would wait for the right lover under those circumstances, but if women expect men to hold true to traditional values, we better get something out of it.

Title	As a younger woman, feminism has quite accurately screwed me over. (Rant)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	33
Comments	68
Date	July 27, 2014 5:34 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2bvda1/as_a_younger_woman_feminism_has_quite_accurately/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/as-a-younger-woman-feminism-has-quite-accurately.165633 https://theredarchive.com/post/165633

Comments