Is success toxic?

KAWA_TOY · 2020-08-30T21:18:14+00:00

You are repelling people because I am assuming you talk about it or brag about it a lot.

Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and you wont even know what to do with all the friends you get.

I am interested in what you invested. Always look for advice from others.

DarkRaiizor · 2020-08-30T19:58:54+00:00

At the top you are and you remain lonely.

That‘s a hard to swallow pill every successful man takes sooner or later, as you truly pointed out that many „friends“ get intimidated and distance from you, or new people suddenly sneak in with the mission to bring you down.

Is this lifestyle gonna tear you down, or does it make you try even harder than before? That‘s the difference between people who remain at the top, and those who get dragged down.

PencesElectrician · 2020-08-30T21:36:37+00:00

I’m sure that some people you were friends with were just insecure losers and had a crabs in a bucket mentality. A lot of jealous haters out there.

HOWEVER, if I were you, I’d take a step back and see how you’re handling yourself in social interactions. Are you flaunting all of your success in person and/or on social media? Bragging about all the cool things you have? Being a dick or belittling people? Only talking about yourself and not acting interested in others? If so, then your actions are part of the problem and are repelling people.

The key when you’re successful is to not be a dick about it. Regardless though, you will find people who are successful eventually. Birds of a feather flock together.

ZeppKfw · 2020-08-30T21:27:47+00:00

Why would your lifestyle be repulsive to other people? Why would women ghost you instantly? What's your lifestyle like anyways? It's very vague.

If you want to try to find ambitious people you can try a high level competitive MMA/MT/KB/BJJ gym. These guys are animals.

conr716 · 2020-08-30T21:31:15+00:00

There are many people who are driven.

Take it from me, I'm also a 3rd year at a state college and I started the same way- started dating a girl, went to a couple parties and started making a good social circle

For me however, when my gf broke up with me I had hit rock bottom. Confidence was gone and I had no drive, with very little friends.

After some time on the water(I row for my college)I chalked up what I had and I focused on myself, started doing better.

One thing I realized is no one is going to give you happiness, if your friends aren't happy for you, then they aren't your true friends, it might be lonely on top but above all your still on top.

A place where most would kill to be, and so they look at Materialisticlly.

vicious_armbar · 2020-08-31T03:33:31+00:00

I’ll be honest you sound like a bullshit artist. Almost no college junior is: “a known name” in their career field.

At the big state school I went to the popular frats controlled the party scene.

Being able to save up 80K while going to school full time is almost impossible; it could happen if you used your student loans to make a bunch of crazy option bets that paid off. But that’s extremely unlikely.

northernlaner · 2020-08-30T22:10:56+00:00

Success breeds jealousy of those around you that are not successful. I recently graduated engineering school and have my dream job working on car electronics. I did this while in my last two years of school swallowing the pill and getting in shape. I don’t at all have the same friends. The friends that I had back then all stopped talking to me or I cut off. My “best friend” stopped wanting to be around me because he wanted to bone a chick in a friend group. Instead of talking to me about it he got insecure, assumed she wanted to fuck me and started blowing me off so I cut him off. Success filters out the people in your life that shouldn’t have been there in the first place. If these people know they’ll never be as successful as you they get jealous and treat you poorly

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-08-30T22:56:49+00:00

If what you say is true, GOOD JOB man!

Financially and professionally, You're doing better than alot of us.

Your "friends" only liked when you were like them, once you started to level up they realized you were better than them.

Short answer...They(like most ppl) are haters who would rather keep you down,tear you down,or sabotage you than see you achieve better than them.

Success isn't toxic, it just breeds hatred from insecure unaccomplished ppl.

Surround yourself with like minded ppl

Good luck

guifawkes · 2020-08-31T03:53:00+00:00

The problem is you think you're successful. Quit thinking that. You're really not that successful. Other people who make less money than you can be more successful than you. Treat them like that and you'll find people find you less arrogant.

Flintblood · 2020-08-31T04:41:13+00:00

It seems like something is missing here. You invested 80k in three years and have no debt, which means you must have made extreme bank (in what field?) in the 1-2 semesters you worked in order to invest 80k AND pay for school and living expenses and a social life.

Did you make all your money from nothing or is family helping? If you’re doing so well now, what is keeping you in school?

As other posters said, you may be wearing your pride on your sleeve too much. There is a world of difference between rock solid inner confidence and outward pride. If you are enough, you won’t need them anyway. If you are strong and confident, but also keeping it down to earth, you will attract new friends.

AngTheEphemeral · 2020-08-30T23:11:28+00:00

Unless you're bragging and perceived as being arrogant or highly narcissistic, it might be that the people who react negatively to hearing about your success aren't really your friends. This guy / video gives some good advice about it and sums it up better than I can:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5ukKf4vi6g

sportsdude523 · 2020-08-31T04:43:13+00:00

you repel people because from the looks of your words, deep down you seem to be scared of being seen as a loser in any way, so you puff your chest and overcompensate by trying to overdo always being seen as a winner and your defensive mechanism against anything that goes against the image is autopiloting into everyone else is a hater, even if their constructive feedback of you are valid. my guess is you are obssessed with presenting an image of yourself, and people are able to pick up on it and cringe at it.

my guess is you aren't being honest with yourself for some kind of emotional reason you need to work out in yourself. and also while not being honest, you are ommitting information on here that would be crucial to fully ascertain the situation.

with that being said, none of what i'm saying is meant to put you down. juts want to be upfront about it and give you a kick in the gut on it to help you straighten out. it's ok; you're still very young and we've all been there. it just takes some time.

signsoflife620 · 2020-08-31T01:12:33+00:00

You sound annoying ngl

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2020-08-31T01:39:03+00:00

quit being a lil bitch and expecting people to like you

people should like you for your leadership or your common interests with them, if you have neither, don't expect them to spend their time on you

send_it_for_the_boys · 2020-08-31T04:12:37+00:00

I’ll give you an example from my perspective, a girl asked me the other day if I made good money, I smirked and jokingly said “why, you a gold digger?” She lost her shit and started telling me how she’s going to be a doctor and never has to worry about money and is doing this and this and that and I’m just smiling thinking I don’t give a flying rats ass, and I never talked to her again people like that are very insecure and all around shitty to have in your life IMO.

Don’t talk about it. Be about it.

Texan2116 · 2020-08-30T21:31:48+00:00

Its lonely at the top..and this dude has climbed to the top of his particular social circle. people are hateful and jealous.

newguy889 · 2020-08-31T04:10:06+00:00

Most people cannot stand the success of those around them.

I'm not a ball of sunshine or anything and I'm well aware, but you can mention a single time that you don't particularly need to be conservative with money and people will look at you differently for the entity of your proximity.

There's a good chance you're a bit tone deaf though. I've certainly been told that I am a time or two and would naturally explain in this type of setting that I'm also rather successful. Of course, the only difference is that you've realized your success (seemingly) and I've only seen a few glimpses (I have a feeling we're both on the same page...) but am certain that I've already done well enough to avoid being a wage slave in the near future.

Maybe these questions will help you a bit: how often do you speak of yourself with no provocation? How often do you ask people to go in to further detail when speaking about themselves? How much do you know of your close friends'/relatives' interests? Do people often cut conversations short with you? Do you regularly feel impatient during small talk? How often would you say you cut people off when speaking to them?

You could always just have autism or something similar...

inkwind · 2020-08-31T04:23:13+00:00

I can comment on this one.

I turned my professional life around myself just when my masters began and have now become one of the well known professionals in the country(trp hit me further and harder at that point shocked me into reality). If was also the time when I finally made myself a good body. Now mont of the times my reputation precedes itself in professional circles, but I'm nowhere near the gods of my field. Keep that in mind when you read on.

Here's what happened :

1.

Except a few colleagues, most of them abandoned me. Maybe its because in a way they compare me to them and wonder how the fuck did I get so far from the same level as them. I was a semi beta chump when I initially started(the guy you could kinda respect, but also walk over. So in their minds maybe I'm the same guy who was below them, but still got ahead). Human jealously.

Solution to this: I'm not responsible for other's insecurities.

2.

Lifestyle changed on itself (kinda my mistake, wasn't good with money initially). So even if I was mentally modest, reality still conveyed a lot of sparkles.

Solution : Realize that you are not just your own humility, and nothing you can do about it. The best indicators are kids. If kids say you look loaded, then you look loaded, no matter what you think.

3.

The final point: People love a man high up attending to their small problems. Like politicians pretending to give a fuck are loved, but ones who don't seem to give a fuck but do their job well are widely hated (they think there is a superiority complex). I was hit hard by this. Maybe you too are the prey of this point 3.

Solution : Realize that as you ascend, hostility from people increases no matter what. This is why people dwell in their country clubs etc, you need a place where others too are like you and are okay with you without being insecure.

In all of the points above, you can see that there is almost nothing that you can change. But you will always have the respect of the people worth having if you don't grow cocky.

The only way if you want to be widely liked(If you care for it) is to dial down your lifestyle, and start bending, which is a miserable life to live.

This isn't trp exactly, it's just social dynamics.

The thing that helped is that I has some solid friends way back from my beta days who sticked by me, so I didn't really care about others. Seems like you lack this friend circle.

From what I see, you don't really have a shit ton of money, so you have an air around you, whether you accept it or not. People don't simply block others on social media. At least not at this scale. Look at yourself again.

ObamasGayNephew · 2020-08-31T04:51:28+00:00

Assuming that it’s everyone else’s fault is a big reason reason why you are not as attractive to people.

beefstockcube · 2020-08-31T05:06:14+00:00

and developed my career. Now in my junior year I am a decently known name in the field I plan on graduating in

No, you aren't, you're a school kid.

And I'd bet you take that perspective into a lot of situations. Driven is fine, but it must come with perspective.

I can find some success in socializing by pretending to be the average person

You are. I'm saying this not to put you down, but no debt, some money in the bank and a decent drinks cabinet is nothing to be setting the world on fire about. But it is spoken like someone with a true youthful mindset.

are there people who enjoy the grind like I do

Probably, but you see they wouldn't see it as the grind. Its just life, you're aiming to prove something specific, I don't know what it is but you are out to tell the world about it.

You need to let life settle, look inward for your satisfaction. Become truly happy with knowing you did it as opposed to telling people you did it.

AltruisticBeautiful7 · 2020-08-31T13:09:32+00:00

in 48 laws of power there is a sayign

A merchant gives a traveller a ride. He says, "this is the biggest city in the world!" the traveller said its certainly not. "But for sure the richest", reply the merchant. "Not quite", the boy says.
The travelled was burried that afternoon.

Don't overwhelm ppl with your success OR find more successfull ppl.

Sylvester_Sterone · 2020-08-30T20:52:42+00:00

To others, yes.

fuckfuckfuckfuckflck · 2020-08-30T21:49:21+00:00

Curious what you majored in to make all that money. I’ve got a decent amount saved up, you’re the first guy I know who’s my age but has even more. Computer science?

2020-08-30T22:40:28+00:00

Keep doing what are you doing. Make better quality friends

biezpiens · 2020-08-31T00:17:53+00:00

I've made shit ton of money in the past year and let me tell you, there will be a lot of people you know who will be jealous as fuck and that is what you're experiencing. Stay away from those people. Keep doing what you're doing and be careful who you show your cards to.

rocacu · 2020-08-31T00:27:42+00:00

When you progress in life, it's natural for you to leave some people behind. And if some people don't want to be part of your life anymore, you should replace them with better ones.

plxxx · 2020-08-31T00:33:37+00:00

I can definitely relate to what you are going through even though our situation is probably not similar. When I was out of shape, depressed about my dating life and not doing so well career wise I had my group of friends. But now that I am strong and in shape, got promoted at work and dating a girl that these guys can only ever dream off I find that some people respect me while others constantly try to tear me down or just don’t want to have anything to do with me. It’s lonely at the top and by top I mean the top of these group of people, I suppose its time to move on and find better people where I can learn from and inspire from. I find the drive to become even more successful for myself as well as to rub it into these peoples faces. As Cristiano Ronaldo once said:” Your love makes me strong but your hate makes me unstoppable.” Ronaldo is one of the best footballers but cops a lot of hate because people hate seeing him succeed.

WhatRemainsAfter · 2020-08-31T03:25:21+00:00

Don't rub your friends nose in your success.

Also, give good vibe. Often, ego makes a successful person look down upon less successful.

Lastly, upgrade your circle. You need more successful around you so that you push ahead.

SiLLY__Go0Se- · 2020-08-31T10:10:35+00:00

One of my best friends I met in the army and lives in a nice trailer and has literally more than ten 90's Era cars in his lawn. His wife is typical trailer trash with a kid that's probably not his, and I don't forsee him going anywhere himself.

But he's one of the best, most human people I've ever met. Type of dude that'd give you a kidney without question.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't give a fuck how "success driven" you are anywhere near as much as how I respect and value your character as a human being. I could rule the world and he'd always have a spot at my table.

2020-08-30T22:12:03+00:00

[deleted]

OneTrueQ · 2020-08-30T23:27:36+00:00

Shit buddy I’m your age and I work hard but I’m trying to be like you and work smarter. I don’t think success is toxic it’s hell at the bottom. Misery loves company and crabs hate what’s outside the barrel.

Man I want advice from YOU as a redpill brother.

Title	Is success toxic?
Author	TheFinestLadEver
Upvotes	45
Comments	76
Date	August 30, 2020 7:51 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ijj6v7/is_success_toxic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-success-toxic.173687 https://theredarchive.com/post/173687

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