What if your fiancée or your husband asked you to wear modest clothes, will you change the way that you are wearing ?

loneliness-inc · 2017-05-12T12:18:57+00:00

When you're in a life partnership, you get to have an opinion about what you'd like your life partner to wear. Wearing what your husband asked you to wear doesn't mean you're being controlled, it means you're fulfilling his desires.

When it comes to religious standards, the question is - are you at the same standard that he is? Is there a big discrepancy between your idea of appropriate dress and his?

If the discrepancy is small, it's workable. If it's big, it may cause resentment later.

My wife dresses modestly and always did. I wouldn't have even considered dating her if she didn't. I wanted someone who's on the same page as me. We're there minor adjustment? Sure there were, but it went both ways. She also had clothing preferences for me which I gladly took on because they're minor changes.

Willow-girl · 2017-05-12T11:15:04+00:00

To me that's fine,

If it doesn't bother you, I don't see anything wrong with it!

If other women ask, I'd hesitate to say you're doing it to please your man, because that might be a bone of contention with the feminists. Why provoke a needless argument? Just say you're trying out a new style. :-)

[deleted] · 2017-05-12T16:24:28+00:00

Do you want your husband's approval or other women's?

anothdae · 2017-05-12T12:53:36+00:00

Reverse it.

Do you (or can you see yourself) picking out clothes for him?

Most wives do that, to make their husbands more formal, more "adult", etc etc.

akanachan · 2017-05-12T10:09:08+00:00

To me that's fine, but doesn't mean that I'm allowing him to control me?

Think of it from his perspective: as his wife (/wife-to-be), you represent one of his major life-choices (and likewise, he represents your choices, as your husband/to-be). How you present yourself in public is a reflection of him.

He's not trying to "control" you in an oppressive way, it's more about him wishing to be proud of you as his chosen life partner.

And what if other women notice that, should I tell them because my fiancée asked me to wear like that?

You don't owe them any explanations that they wouldn't understand. You could tell them your new clothing choices makes you look more stylish and dignified, and your man helped you pick what to wear because he has great tastes.

What if your fiancée or your husband asked you to wear modest clothes, will you change the way that you are wearing ?

Yes, I would. Because I'd only marry a man who has impeccable tastes.

ladybugg103 · 2017-05-12T11:53:36+00:00

What were you wearing that was immodest enough for him to want you to change your wardrobe? Was it actually immodest or is he just reeeeally old fashioned?

Banincoming · 2017-05-12T12:20:48+00:00

I was on a plane once next to a Muslim man. He explained that the burka is because a woman only wants to be beautiful and sexually attractive for her husband. He didn't have a good answer for why he didn't love her enough to wear one himself for her.

If my SO asked me to show less leg or cleavage though, I probably would.

RubyWooToo · 2017-05-12T17:24:16+00:00

I think it's important for you and your fiance have a discussion about what "modesty" actually means and come to an agreement that works well for both of you.

Does he just not want you showing off cleavage or thigh? Would he be happy with a dress like this?

Or does he expect you to wear clothes that won't show off or compliment your figure at all? Like burkas or Mormon prairie dresses?

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-05-13T02:41:33+00:00

Depending on the country, this could be a really terrifying red flag.

Or not. What country are we talking about?

deathbypurple · 2017-05-13T11:16:21+00:00

Personally I would. I trust my partner - he's not a psycho so if he points out something is immodest, then it probably is. I also let him tell me what to wear sometimes... It actually helps my confidence. For example I don't like my hair up but he does and so I wear it even though I normally wouldn't and... I don't know, it really makes me feel more confident.

I say trust your captain...

elizabethamorgan · 2017-05-12T17:29:50+00:00

My husband asked me to dress more modestly too and I did it because I love him and felt like it was something I should have done anyways. It doesn't sound like he's trying to control you. Have you asked him how he would feel if you decided not to dress modestly?

pinkdrawings · 2017-05-13T03:32:01+00:00

I think a middle ground would be nice. Often wearing the clothes he likes, but also able to wear your own clothes that you like. Does the change bother you? If you'll resent him - I would say no.

Why is he only saying it now? So far into the relationship?

Landry86 · 2017-05-12T16:49:49+00:00

I think it is reasonable for him to voice his concern. Did he tell you what specifically it is that you need to change about what you are wearing?

buk_lau_tzu · 2017-05-13T03:29:29+00:00

Does he want you to wear a headscarf?

CoolWaldorfMama · 2017-05-13T19:48:11+00:00

If my Fiancé would start to comment in favor of more coverage then I would be calling the "anti islamist hotline". But I do show cleavage and leg if I believe it is appropriate.

Larry-Man · 2017-05-15T08:32:02+00:00

It really depends on if it's a request or a demand. I do my hair the way my current SO likes (when I have one) and I make sure to do my makeup and wear the outfits he likes. If he's been fine with the way you are up until this point and suddenly expects a change for marriage that's the biggest red flag: does he expect you to be someone different entirely after marriage? If it's just clothes sure, do your thing.

The odd thing is he's asking you to change now after a period of time.

Econo_miser · 2017-05-15T16:28:38+00:00

You should dress modestly because you respect yourself, and you have more to offer the world besides tits and ass. Granted, in some parts of the world, "dressing modestly" is just code word for implicit control over women, e.g. Saudi Arabia and Iran. But assuming you live somewhere in the western world, dressing modestly (yet feminine) is a good thing.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-05-13T00:15:18+00:00

Yes and I do. He often picks what I wear and if I am going to work.or a place without him, it has to be approved. My job is to create a wardrobe both of us love. Also from your examples, the latter is most attractive.

[deleted] · 2017-05-12T21:16:10+00:00

No because I'd be confused as to the reasons why he wanted me to change when he met and got engaged to me the way I already was lol. But I'm also not very religious, so maybe my reasonings would be different if I was religious. But I see it as controlling, and if he gets away with that, what else will be want to control next? Who I talk to?

Title	What if your fiancée or your husband asked you to wear modest clothes, will you change the way that you are wearing ?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	49
Date	May 12, 2017 9:26 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6aq9tc/what_if_your_fiancée_or_your_husband_asked_you_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-if-your-fiancee-or-your-husband-asked-you-to.196854 https://theredarchive.com/post/196854

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