Wife feels 'panicky' - help

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-11-05T04:50:08+00:00

Gay. Your little boy blue brain was setting up a not so subtle covert contract by spilling the beans on your buddy's sex life. Or did you think this was going to somehow overtly negotiate some desire? She doesn't give a fuck. She saw right through your BS and knew what your little below the belt brain was angling for. It was indirect and weak.

Under pressure...David Bowie style. It's the terror of knowing, what the world is about...

Also, stop gossiping to your wife about your buddy's sex life. Some shit is supposed to stay between dudes. Develop some sort of honor code. Or not. Whatever.

DanG3 · 2016-11-05T01:21:01+00:00

I've read your other past posts. You're still very new at this.

Your wife is very comfortable with what/how she has manipulated [edit: how you have LET her manipulate] your relationship to be - how she has worn you down such that she is consciously/subconsciously confident that she doesn't have to use her sexuality to assure your loyalty. Read this post: https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5b1ebn/my_failure_the_gnawing_effects_of_an_ltr_on_a_man/?sort=top

Continue on your path, and add lifting. Do. Not. Engage. Her. In. Her. Claims. Of. "Panic." Read and apply BPP's sidebar writings on Dread.

screechhater · 2016-11-05T10:26:11+00:00

Quit talking. Build attractiveness and value with stories of bitched you were dancing with

Her escalation has nothing to do with your words of lack of sex. It was a slight tingle of dread.

When you get far enough along you will understand you will push through all thoughts of beta excuses of yours and hers of testing you of discussions with attractiveness/animal magnetism.

But it's not gonna happen with discussions of her telling you to stop pressuring her/her anxiety. When you become high enough value she will drop that shit like a ton of bricks

Stoicism, fake it til you make it, and total abundance mentality are your assets. Don't talk her to death or that is where your sex life spirals to. This was a nubee gain with a little unintended gain. This is exactly how women work.

I will state the fact she makes a comment about extra pressure when trying to get it on and your buddy's comment - better up your game and own your shit

iloveairplane · 2016-11-05T16:51:46+00:00

From what I've read and seen in real life - a woman will act panicky or tell you she feels pressure if she knows you expect sex from her when she isn't "feeling" it (i.e. - not attracted, not feeling the tingles, maybe your not acting manly and triggering her female response, maybe you're failing shit-tests terribly, etc).

It is clear you haven't internalized the reading - or you would know that the talking about it with her after the post was not the right approach....yes you did get some negotiated sex, but I think that was more her female subconscious rewarding you for handing over your gameplan to over to her.....now she's got your number.

Dartex · 2016-11-05T19:13:45+00:00

That's a power move, just like when they start crying to get away with something. Ignore.

Spaw-1-4-5 · 2016-11-05T21:18:09+00:00

The first thing that stands out to me is that you had to tell her you get attention from other women.

There's a guy at work who always talks about these women he used to get and we all think he's a liar. He's an embarrassing to be around and there's just no way. He's... an idiot... poor hygiene and all...

There's another guy at work who we drag stories out of and he reluctantly tells us about his latest conquest... he gets 10s all the time. It makes me wish I was still 20...

We're guys, what can I say...?

But can you see the difference? The guy who brags about these women, we instinctively know he's full of shit. But the guy who gets all these women, well he's hesitant to even talk about it.

When you're bragging to your wife about the "attention from other women", she knows you're full of shit, whether you are or not.

She has to see it this attention you claim to receive.

I take my wife to parties, I take her to our sons cub scout pack meetings, work related picnics, and even in the grocerie store, I talk with all sorts of women, make them laugh, right in front of her (Thank you ROOSH for Day Bang lol) and what this does is illustrate to her that I have value in other women's eyes. It initiates her mate guarding instinct.

So stfu all together. Stop talking, start doing. Lift like it's your second job. Fuck, lift like it's your only job. Read MMSL, go look up dread game, and until you have a handle on this, just stfu. It's all you can do in the beginning.

This is all stuff that has been told to me over the past year and I cringe when I read posts like yours because that's where I was a year ago, "Babe, if you're not gonna have sex with, I'll go get it elsewhere".

There has been two hard NOs since I took the redpill. 1 was about a year ago, and I just got up to watch TV in the living room. The 2nd was just last week, she said no, and as I snuggled up to her I said "ok, but you'll have a boner poking you all night". Ten minutes later I rolled back over to the other side and the SHE INITIATED!

BAH! I can't anymore...

Just... sidebar dude... don't talk to your wife about anything.... and sidebar...

End rant.

SexistFlyingPig · 2016-11-05T22:51:46+00:00

My girlfriend gets panicky around 10:30 in the morning if we haven't had sex yet that day. She's freaking out that maybe we're losing that special connection. No, I'm not kidding.

Once a fortnight? That's 2 weeks, right? Yikes.

Your wife has owned you, emotionally. Does it make you unhappy if your wife is unhappy? If your wife is troubled over something, do you then become troubled over it too? Stop it. She doesn't need you to cycle with her, emotionally. She needs you to be a rock that she can cling to. This is what will make her panties wet.

She feels panicky? "Well, honey, I'm sure there's someone out there who would like to have sex with me more than once a fortnight. It doesn't have to be you."

Aechzen · 2016-11-06T11:57:51+00:00

as we were chatting First she said Then she said

Nope. STFU is where you should be.

And where is your frame in all this? This post was too much about her.

angels_fan · 2016-11-06T15:05:52+00:00

The problem here is that you think the purpose of MRP is to get more sex from your wife, and that if you get more sex from your wife, you've won.

No!

The goal here is to become a man so fucking awesome that women can't help but want to fuck you... Your wife included.

If getting more sex is your goal right now, then I might suggest you go monk mode. Take sex off the table for a month or two and work on you. Create a MAP that doesn't have sex anywhere on it.

One of the strange things about MRP is that men who follow it eventually a) stop caring about getting sex and b) start getting all the sex they can handle. But only after they become the masculine man they always should have been!

gettingmymojoback · 2016-11-05T00:31:07+00:00

I'm still relatively new, but here's what I do: AA or AM.

For example just now at dinner, conversation with my wife ended with:

Her: It's getting tiring now that your sex drive is so high Me: Your damn right, it's a lot of work for me but you don't hear me complaining Her: I'm serious Me: So am I, why do you think Ive been working out? Her: (dirty look) Me: you think it's bad now? Wait until I start adding ZMA, it's supposed to REALLY up my testosterone levels. You better bring your A Game. Her: I'll divorce you if it gets any higher (half smiling) Me: Really? You could always bring in some hired help if you can't keep up with me. I don't mind. Her: (dirty look again) Me: Why are you giving me that look? I've always said you can bring a friend.....or two (smirk)

Got up, walked over, gave her a kiss and a squeezed her ass. She's happy as can be.

I've learned that it's ok not to take every outburst so seriously. Worst comes to worst, STFU and ignore. She'll be ok in a bit. No need to panic just cause she's panicky that Jim gets laid more than you and might be giving you ideas.

vadimgit · 2016-11-05T19:51:20+00:00

man what are you doing. Imagine what if she said to you that you should fack her 3 times per day no matter want you or not? I think after several intercourses you will desperately seek the way how to avoid it. But some time if you feel comfortable and your wife looks sexy you would do it with pleasure. Think about it. And try to be more attractive (lifting, dressing, etx.). And do it for yourself firstly. I did mistakes like these many times before I took the red pill. It's easy to make them but take some time to recover. Just do nothing about it, let her forgot about these words and don't tell it again.

weakandsensitive · 2016-11-06T05:21:07+00:00

LOL. Simple solution.

Don't worry babe. I'll find other people to have sex with so you don't feel pressured.

Then go and do it.

Human psychology dictates that people respond better to binary choices. If a person is given an open ended option - an average person will flounder. If a person has to pick between one of two things, the decision is much easier.

Have your wife make a choice on whether she fucks you or someone else fucks you.

Note for the OP - this will get YOU divorced.

MattyEvans35 · 2016-11-05T07:53:57+00:00

UPDATE:

I went upstairs straight after writing this post. We had a 20 min chat about this stuff, how for her our intimacy has to lead to a natural progression to sex rather than her feeling under pressure like it's an obligation every time we get intimate. She struggled to explain her feelings, just that she couldn't help feeling like that sometimes.

Using my limited experience of MTRP techniques I said that I need more sex than we're having. I said it's frustrating that I'm at a stage in my life when I've never been more attractive to women. Told her that I regularly get attention from girls, & walking through town today I got at least 5 girls do a 'double take' and/or smile in that way that makes you know they want you. (This is true by the way)

I said I didn't want any other girls but that if I wanted sex with attractive women it would be really fucking easy (which it would). So I wanted to work on our sex life to get it back to where it was when we were young (married 9 yrs together for 15) (we're 35).

The result of this?

She started escalating to sex within 2 mins of hearing this and we had amazing sex. Part of me wanted to deny her this but then I thought fuck it, life is too fucking short for silly games.

I just don't understand women...

Title	Wife feels 'panicky' - help
Author	MattyEvans35
Upvotes	13
Comments	28
Date	November 4, 2016 11:49 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5b738j/wife_feels_panicky_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/wife-feels-panicky-help.199395 https://theredarchive.com/post/199395

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