INTRO: you may have to finally pull anchor and sail away from port to go travel and explore the world, if the first mate doesnt want to come back from shore leave. some of you asked for my story, so here:

i will probably come out of this tunnel on the right side of the divorce, as she makes quite a bit better than me, with her burdening the debt, having everything in her name (control issues).

be those issues mine or hers, it's moot now. the end has come. sometimes, after 8 years of marriage, 5 years of dating, and 18 months applying more and more gradual dread, it just doesnt work. she was staunch that she 'was never going to change'. she was right. I wanted a better place, she wanted the same place, so that's that. good bye.

i was in a bad place when we met, i had a serious family tragedy, and she, in not so many words, saved my life. i had hibernating alpha traits, with beta tendancies (good guy). I loved to be physical, lift, eat right, smart, witty, outgoing, funny, game for days. looking back, i see every beta step along the way. submissive sex, moving in, moving away, buying more shit, buying a house, getting married, getting a dog, having a kid... then, all the way through all the same BS to r/deadbedrooms.

after a few years of once-in-a-while duty starfish missionary hurry the hell up are you done yet sex, i found the link. My eyes drank in every morsel. TRP, MRP, ASKTRP, sort by TOP, 2x, books (pirated, bought/ wtfe). I am basically a decently built, good looking, intelligent, charismatic, walking example of MRP.

After six months of hardcore application of TRP in the marriage, i sat her down. told her i wanted more from her. i wasnt getting what i wanted. not sexually, not in choreplay, i want you to be nice to me, enjoy each others company, to her everything was a battle to be won. I was no longer in war mode, i wanted my first mate. she wasnt sure what to think. she was reluctant.

i continued to lift to maintain, i didnt want to be enormous, i wanted to look good and stave off injury (forties). she was still overweight and lazy. ate junk. didnt exercise. continually bitched about how she hated her job. she refused to give me more control over finances. she refused to quit being bitchy. when she was a cunt, i went silent. i was always in a good mood. i made friends easy, life of the party. hobbies roaring. wood stuff? cutting and painting. music? playing and learning. venues booking. horizons expanding. it was too much for her comfort zone.

over the next year, we had three nuclear meltdowns. she actually sent me texts regarding divorce. a few weeks later, i gave it to her.

LESSON LEARNED sometimes, no matter what you do, she wont want to to be on your ship.pull your anchor and go be a captain. not every vessel needs a mate. am i promoting MGTOW? only if you consider you need the right FM for your ship, which may not be the one you have currently.

as far as my situation, im lucky. i have a good chance at alimony and support. she made more than me and wouldn't put shit in my name too. i guess karma has a sneaky way of biting people in the ass. OK, now we are gunna have the phone lines open, sorry if you have been on hold- first caller, what's your question?