You guys got me pretty riled up, follow up to my wife wants a dog

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-07T23:18:25+00:00

7 months and you have not even read prerequisites. Then without even reading the prerequisites you are making weak ultimatums and leaving your woman home crying on the day she graduated.

Well hell what could go wrong?

cholomite · 2016-05-08T03:17:19+00:00

Holy shit dude this whole thing is like a play by play on how betas try to get laid and whine about getting shot down later. Text book shit right here.

Your come ons and attempts at escalation are weak as fuck. Work on your game and talk less. Next time just take her pants off. Don't tell her this or that. Try to say less than she does and make physical moves instead. If she turns you down or pushes you away, flip it on her like she was coming onto you. Just basic game type shit. You already know the line about students getting it on was weak as fuck so no need to go there. I cringed reading it though. Again, speak less, if at all.

You're pissed she didn't fuck you, but you're the one who blew it. Maybe she wouldn't have anyway, but after all that there was no way. That hug bullshit? Don't hug a girl as some lame attempt to be sweet so you can fuck her. Hug her because you want to, because she was being cute or something. Doing shit like that, for the sole purpose of getting laid is weak as fuck and some beta shit.

I don't even have time to get into how fucked your little speech about your expectations of your sex life was. Dude, she doesn't owe you shit for sex. You're not hot or smooth enough to get it. That's the bottom line. That's not on her that's on you.

One last thing, stop blaming other people for influencing your book choices. That shit is weak, you're your own man.

I'm really not trying to be a dick, but come on, get yourself together mate.

MRPguy · 2016-05-07T20:33:17+00:00

Way too much talking. Way too much. The dialogue appeared to be a conversation between two women. When she denies, slap her on the ass, give her a smirk, and go be busy because as a MAN you have lots to be busy with (and if you don't then you need to find some shit–lifting is good but find more).

I've been in your shoes. Once you let go of begging and rationalizing and explaining to your wife why you need and deserve and have earned sex, she will magically give it to you MORE frequently because her HAMSTER wonders WTF you are doing not throwing sex tantrums.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-07T20:54:00+00:00

She succeeded in making me feel like shit about blowing up her graduation day.

She succeeded...making me feel...

She didn't DO anything. She just didn't do what you wanted her to do. And now you sulk in your own vat of victim slop.

Until that sentence never even enters your mind, you've internalized nothing.

2016-05-08T00:24:01+00:00

Hambley, I think you're only a year or two older than my oldest. Let me tell ya something son, stranger on the Internet to stranger on the Internet, MRP aside and man to man, you have to take control of yourself and your life. You and your wife are NOT indivisible. You have to take care of yourself, you can't fix her. Wanting intimacy IS normal and healthy. She is probably not. The sooner you can let go of the rage and unhappiness the better off you'll be.

2016-05-07T21:08:27+00:00

You'll hit personal bests with that rage :)

Fuck it though, even when talking about her unwillingness to do her part, she still frames it as you making her feel bad for not feeling it.

Now you're building a better man, these things work themselves out, just takes some effort.

I like the subtle powertalk too. "This is how couples work" lol.

abdada · 2016-05-07T20:31:08+00:00

Dread levels 5-6 are usually the hardest, but as your clean diet and hardcore gym progress moves forward, you'll get past it.

Persaeus · 2016-05-08T01:21:46+00:00

And students ~~don't~~ have sex, lets get it on.

See how this is in your frame. Calculus was boring too, and I read the MF twice because I wanted the end result.

OP I have to ask: is this the only girl you have ever kissed or fucked? Your calibration of what you take in life and consider getting "riled up" is beyond my comprehension.

I am not saying it is good demonstration of my frame , but I go a few weeks and I am looking for someone's ass to beat.

For the record I fucked my to be wife on graduation day twice, because that is what students do do.

I will say it again , get busy or get out your marriage.

innominating · 2016-05-08T02:11:27+00:00

Stop telling her what she "needs" to do. Start telling her what you want her to do. It is the difference between judging her and directing her, between arguing with her, and leading her.

cj_aubrey · 2016-05-08T07:50:01+00:00

When I come back past, she lays in again about how shitty I am for pushing for this on her graduation day, all I want her is for her pussy, why couldn't I just wait and give her one happy day, now she feels like a fucked up broken person (constant refrain for years), why don't you just leave if I'm not good enough for you.

Long winded criticism of you to intimidate you into submission. Have you ever agreed to let her decide how you act, think or feel? No? Then you're totally free to ignore her opinion when its just a play in a power struggle.

She succeeded in making me feel like shit about blowing up her graduation day.

Incorrect. You stopped letting her decide how you would act. So she asserted that she was allowed to decide how you needed to feel and you let her make that decision and feel bad because she told you to. Stop doing that. Decide for yourself whether your behavior is acceptable. Consider her opinions and facts in this decision. But if your behavior is acceptable to you, then refuse to feel bad about it.

I told her to pause here TV show and told her that I was sorry for blowing up her shit on her graduation day

Why? You're fucking married. Its reasonable for you to come on to your wife as long as you don't pressure her or get butthurt about denial.

I now realize that every single sentence she spoke was a manipulative value statement about my actions

Correct. She's trying to criticize and intimidate you back into doing everything like she wants (i.e. you fully support her with resources and emotional availability and she gives you jack shit).

Her: "Don't you think that I've been thinking about how to fix this?"

OP, this is probably true. She probably has as little idea as you regarding how to fix the situation. What you're really missing here is attraction. My marriage is almost exactly the same. You need to maintain your frame now, but in the long term, attraction is the only real solution.

ReddJive · 2016-05-08T11:52:16+00:00

So now you are starting to see the world for as it is.

Keep reading all the boring books. Read the good ones too and don't forget...

Winners post in OYS

. You got but hurt over the covert contract (no sex after graduating) and left in a huff.

"I'm going to the gym. Take that"

You talk too much. You don't tell them you expect improvement....unless you want shit to blow up...you show them.

One thing is concerning.

I feel Ike we need to get to know each other again

Isn't this what they say when they've checked out? When they have Chad coming in closer or have cheated?

I could be wrong. I'm mobile and can't research manosphere properly.

AnonymousAndLovinIt · 2016-05-07T22:14:16+00:00

"(OYS, I can't fix her."

and then

"told her that I was sorry for blowing up her shit on her graduation day(because I am, I could have waited till tomorrow to push the issue),"

See what you did there?

ex_addict_bro · 2016-05-07T23:02:49+00:00

Read about triangulation on Shari Schreibers website. The one about borderline personality disorder.

2016-05-08T02:38:55+00:00

Me: I think we need a little bit more than hugs.

It was her big day, so you deserved sex?

Her: you know I need more time and snugglz. I just finished school, I've been a stressed out student.

This is standard RP shit. Treat it as standard LMR -- "yeah, getting to this point has been a lot of work." Offer to rub her feet or back for a bit, then escalate.

She asks if I'm leaving right now, I say yup, heading to the gym, see ya.

She turns you down for sex, you get butt hurt in the middle of the conversation and storm off. There have been several recent threads about being enervating vs. energizing, about being her escape. All you're doing is being an asshole, a negative force in her life.

She keeps badgering, and I end up saying something to the effect of "when I imagine celebrating with my wife, it involves being physically intimate". She goes off again, can't remember what all now, same ole shit.[...] I now realize that every single sentence she spoke was a manipulative value statement about my actions

Dude, you need to own your own fucking shit. It's not even that you're talking about "her her her", it's that you literally don't even listen to her. We advise people to gradually withdraw affection if she's not giving sex, but she's begging for comfort and you completely tuned her out because she didn't spread her legs.

I'm betting there's a whole lot of relevant details in her arguments that you're not giving us. If jackten were here, he'd likely extrapolate some of her complaints from your sparse history, and it wouldn't be just blame and manipulation.

Look, WISNIFG is a great guide for coping with criticism and resistance, but it's not the only tool in the box. Your first steps should be setting up your own MAP and fixing your shit, even if it means actually listening to her complaints and taking them seriously for a change.

2016-05-08T03:18:32+00:00

she showed you the door and you didn't take it?

She hasn't fucked you in how long? If you broke up with her on graduation day, that would be justice.

2016-05-08T12:23:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Chump_No_More · 2016-05-09T14:06:51+00:00

Late to the party here... already a whole bunch of good advise

Having not fully read the sidebar this late in the game is concerning. Finish WISNIFG, and then begin again at the top. You're starting to get the concepts but it's crucial that you fully internalize them.

I disagree with the others stating that this is merely an attraction desire issue. You are without a doubt a beta-orbiting, draft horse chump but gaming a wife who has psychological issues is not going to get you laid. Repeat after me, "You can't Game crazy!"

You've stated it explicitly before but this post adds to the vibe that there was never a high base-level of attraction... even accounting for your strong religiosity. I agree with A. Kay... it will seldom (read never) get better than the best you've experienced.

OP, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you've been conned. You've supported her through graduate school, even paid for it I bet, and she didn't even have to fuck you... welcome to beta chump-hood.

The fact that you put up with this shit for so long is fully on you. If you're going to be angry, direct it where the blame for your train wreck fully lies... You!

It's now time to take all this negative emotional energy and convert it to positive action. It's now time to go all-in on you, get back on track and prioritize your needs, your passion, your life. Work on yourself physically, emotionally, & spiritually. Focus on your passion... if it's your job and you're at a dead-end, be bold and pick a new direction. Go Monk Mode, put your marriage on the back-burner and 'do you'.

I guarantee, when the new paradigm of 'you at the center' becomes real, you will have reached critical mass and all your prior rationalizations, doubts & fears will border on the ridiculous.

Edit: typos

2016-05-09T17:01:28+00:00

Three days ago, you said this:

I've known deep down for years that I don't want to be in it and it isn't going to work out. I know we got married way too young, way too quickly because I felt guilty about getting into her pants and was blinded by romanticism of marrying my "first love" (which was BS blind hamstering, for sure). I've had countless opportunities to throw in the towel and walk away, but I've never had the courage to pull the trigger. I can hamster it all I want, but I've known something was off since day one, but I was too stupid and blue pill to do anything about it. I've spent 7 years daydreaming of when it would end, while trying to convince myself that sticking around is the noble thing to do. And still my religious idealism/guilt is still trying to convince me that it is salvageable. I must be really fucking brainwashed.

You've been with her 7 years. You have no children. Why are you expending all this energy trying to fix something you know cannot be saved? Cut your losses, end it now, and work on yourself before you get into another relationship with another woman and repeat the same errors.

Persaeus · 2016-05-07T20:49:35+00:00

Dont always just fuck off the the gym. Build something in your backyard. DIY. Something she can see.

spexer · 2016-05-10T13:57:07+00:00

When I got home, I told her to pause here TV show and told her that I was sorry for blowing up her shit on her graduation day(because I am, I could have waited till tomorrow to push the issue), but my expectations are that our sex life improve.

You should not be apologizing for this. In fact, you should stop all use of the word sorry for at least 1 month.

whyunolikey · 2016-07-23T11:33:21+00:00

I don't get all the divorce advice.

She married you, so obviously she used to be in to you. It doesn't sound like you two can't get a long. It just sounds like she thinks you suck and won't have sex with you. That's your fault.

Keep red pilling and figure out the deficiency is. Maybe it's you don't clean up after yourself, or get anything done around the house. Maybe you don't shower.

Title	You guys got me pretty riled up, follow up to my wife wants a dog
Author	hambley
Upvotes	10
Comments	67
Date	May 7, 2016 8:27 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4ibl2c/you_guys_got_me_pretty_riled_up_follow_up_to_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/you-guys-got-me-pretty-riled-up-follow-up-to-my.200014 https://theredarchive.com/post/200014

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