MRP guidance gave me 2 directions to take this rebuttal, I welcome your thoughts on the best choice.

setup: been MRP-ing for 1.5 years. Life is for the most part pretty damn good. Challenge of late has been improving quality. As for quantity, well since implementing the pill and stepping up as the leader, I rarely get the no. I wish I would want it more.

story: I have been out of town for about a week, and I have been home for a day or two but have not gone for sex due to exhaustion and timing (damn kids).

This morning I go to join her in the shower. She was just hopping out and said my timing was perfect as the shower was all mine. "Timing is perfect, because I am not here for a shower" I said with a grin. and then came the "NO hunny, I have to get ready we don't have time."

"That's cool." I said, and believe I acted cool as well. I closed the shower door, and showered.

She peeped her head in and one point and just watched me, then said, "I really wish we did have time." Then left.

So I made a mental note to dial back the comfort, to get back to lifting (havent lifted in a week!) and to get busy with life.

And then when I was getting dressed for work she came in and hugged me, "I am sorry I said no. I just had to get ready. I want to be with you." and she gave me a hug. I gave her a hug back, and just said. "okay" - and then continued to get ready. She might of been seeking comfort, and I did hug her back - but my goal was to make this small, and not to reward or encourage a no.

So I believe I did play the whole thing cool. I did not get upset, I did not make a big deal of it, or anything. I have been at this for a while so I don't believe she read any butt-hurt on my face.

The rest of the morning, making breakfast, to-go coffee, etc, I was a bit distant and definitely quiet. I was going with the 'dialing back the attention' direction. A polite kiss at the door and I was out of the house.

.... and then I thought about this. I have been going with this quiet distant guy, when I withdrawal, and I understand why to do this, but perhaps I shouldn't. maybe go the opposite?

After all, in this case, she made a bigger deal about the NO than I did.

If I am going to LEAD, then I need to lead her to what I want us to have, not just offer her the withdrawn husband until she figures out what she is doing wrong. This is all on ME and I set the stage.

So I went back and rang the front door. When she answered, I asked if she was the lady of the house. "I guess so" she said. "Well we will need to fix that" I said, with that grin back on my face, and I pushed her up against the wall for a 30 second kiss / make-out / fondling session.

And then I just up and left for work. I think I am making the right call here (and planting the seeds for tonight's fun). I am that fun bad boy and I will lead us to the promised land.

... or am I letting her off the hook? Either way, am I not changing my frame?

I welcome your thoughts MRP bretheren.