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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You were (are?) a weaksauce fuck and she sought out a real Man. Did she cheat on you?
EDIT
So I saw other responses and she didn't cheat but actually recognized what was going on. She saw that she was developing the feelz for a guy, who is probably a Man and looked at you and realized she could do better. She cared enough to let you know you disgusted her, reward that.
Also, stop saying 'if', it's not "IF this is my fault". You need to say "This* IS my fault". Because it is. Accept that and accept that all of the failures with your relationship are you fault. On the flip side, all of the success es will be your's as well.
Your relationship can be whatever you want it to be IF you're the type of Man who deserves it.
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR10 points11 points12 points 10 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
do I leave her for getting a crush on someone?
That would be ridiculous. Sounds like your wife was honest with you and actually told you the truth about losing her attraction for the increasingly Beta you. Fix THAT, not her.
Now shes upset that im doing all of this for me and not for her
Sure, that is why she is fucking you all the time now. Watch what the do, not what they say.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Leaving a bitch because some other guy gave her tingles is like getting a new dog because he ate a burger a stranger offered when you were not around
[–]NiftyDolphinMarried MRP APPROVED4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I still miss that dog, but SHE WAS A BURGER WHORE!
I thought Walker Texas Ranger was different... and then one day I found seasame seeds in his fur.
ADALT
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ADALT indeed.
Seriously though, having a shitfit cause your woman got gamed smacks of the blue pill.
How could she do this to meeeeeeee?
[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some women are more like cats, tbh.
[–][deleted] -1 points-1 points-1 points 10 years ago | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]RPAlternate42MRP APPROVED9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not control. That's BP thinking. Control is chaining her to a wall and not letting her leave.
You say it's control like she can't do anything of her own accord... Like talking I Chad from work isn't something else she is doing of her own accord.
She is fucking you because you are stepping up and being worth fucking. This is because you are improving yourself. Not because you are controlling her.
"Control" type talk is the basis for "relationship abuse" feminist propaganda. It also attempts to remove agency from her and posits that she's some kind of helpless child.
If you have options and she is fucking you it's because she knows you having options means you are worthy.
Only worthy men get fucked.
Unworthy men get fucked over.
[–]itsgavinc13 points14 points15 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She CANNOT love you the way that you love her. It isn't possible. She can only love the way you make her feel. Don't be depressed about this, it is what it is. If you are seeking for her to love you the way that you love her, your relationship will fail.
[–][deleted] 2 points2 points2 points 10 years ago | Copy Link
[–]NiftyDolphinMarried MRP APPROVED2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Possible reasons she didn't say anything:
She probably didn't know anything was "missing" until a guy someone came along with something that she didn't even consciously know she was looking for.
She did tell you, but she did it extremely subtly, as women tend to do. Many times a high-volume broadcast in womanese is a whisper in guy-language.
Underlying both of these points is her need for provisioning. Deep down, she knows that life with you is better than being alone.
She's not going to risk going overt and jeopardizing all that you bring to the table unless she has significant incentives to do so.
[–]SDSAM210 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wish I had more up votes for this.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bitch mentality. Kill it with fire.
You can't control her, never could.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
What are you really worried about? She's fucking your brains out as you said because she's worried you have options... because you do. You got your act together, and it's clearly paying dividends. She's worried that you'll leave (which you can) and that's making her hamster work over time.
I wouldn't punish her too hard for being attracted to another guy. Is she still talking to him? If not, then it's water under the bridge, and realize you can never stop improving. And that goes for any woman, AWALT indeed.
[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 10 years ago | Copy Link
[–]6482625 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i.e. if she puts her self in a situation where she has the opportunity to cheat im gone...
That would be the world. Do you know how quick it is to cheat?
You're struggling a bit - we see that, but damn man. Control your emotions a bit.
Let him work through them. Sometimes it's easier to see your own bullshit when you move them from thoughts in your head to words on paper.
Right now it looks like his natural inclination to Next is banging against the perceived sunk cost cumulative value of his marriage.
[–]Redneck001MRP APPROVED2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i.e. if she puts her self in a situation where she has the opportunity to cheat im gone... if she gets obliterated when im not there... im gone...
Damn, Rambo.
In a situation? Like in the presence of men? Get obliterated? You mean, have some drinks without you?
You gonna perform an honor killing or something?
She gave you a heads up, you acted, she responded accordingly.
I'm missing the problem here.
[–]NiftyDolphinMarried MRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From another post it sounds like she didn't tell him about the crush, he found out through snooping.
[–]The-Fast-Yeti0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro, clear your head before you set any tough guy boundaries.
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When guys discover this attraction trigger that is universal in women they often react pissed off- she is only fucking because she is worried.
This is not entirely true. I have heard guys describe it as "fear" and that is not why either. No doubt she is worried that you have options and scared you might leave her.
However, can you really say the sex you are getting is not passionate?
Dread is a secret attraction trigger in women because this "fear" and uncertainty you describe is enormously attractive to women. See "makeup sex" for more.
[–]RPAlternate42MRP APPROVED2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She has a potential Chad at work and then told you she wants you to be your alpha self?
Sounds like she thinks she may catch feelings for Chad but wants to stay committed to you; she recogniEs the social implications to cheating on her husband and recognizes the value you still have.
She gave you a warning that she had a potential replacement for you; this is a special kind of shit test... One that actually requires you to do the thing she wants.
Keep improving, ignore Chad... Trust it verify. Don't confront her about it, for you, now, it will show jealousy and this weakness.
However it works out, you're on the right track.
"Alpha Widower to My Old Self" AWMOS . My previous situation exactly.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
problem is now im waking up im realising my unicorn is just your typical 25 year old woman...
How is that a problem? Everyone in some fashion is typical. You included. Now you just know how to steer things better and you've leveled the playing field a bit.
She has a crush? BFD. Women think lots of crazy shit they never act on. Work on you and she'll soon lose her focus on Johnny Outofreach. Or not. You leave chicks for cheating on you (well I would anyway). Let her fantasize a way so long as it's your junk she's getting on all the time.
Give less shits.
[–]envious19861 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am giving less shits right now... but now shes telling me im not there for her emotionally...
im to cling... now im not emotionally there at the same time... go figure...
but now shes telling me im not there for her emotionally...
Someone translated that once, but I can't find it.
I think that phrase means that she's looking for more entertainment, not comfort.
[–]RedPillJax1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Now shes upset that im doing all of this for me and not for her...
What? How would she know this?
find out shes got a crush on a guy from work
More importantly, how did you find out about this?
as far as i can tell via snooping through social media etc
Buddy, you don't know jack. Women are crafty - never assume she's not talking to him just because you haven't found it yet. I've known women who have had separate phones, aliases, and email accounts who you'd never suspect.
Anyways, very difficult to give advice without a little more information.
[–]envious19862 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What? How would she know this? She tried to take credit for my positive life changes and I told her, I told her Im not doing this for you im doing this for me.
More importantly, how did you find out about this? I looked through her phone..
[–]Redneck001MRP APPROVED-1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
she tried to take credit for my positive life changes
Ha! Imagine that . Solipsism in action. Who'd have thunk it?
My wife and I were talking about our relationship last night over drinks. Why I was having that conversation with her, I dunno. Anyway, she was talking about how our relationship is better because of the changes she has made.
AWALT.
[–]fasterpussycatdie-1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If she thinks it was her idea thats all for the best and it definitely means you did it right. But how did you not bust out laughing?
[–]Redneck001MRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, not to turn it into a mini FR, but I did burst out laughing, she cried, I laughed again. Then she said, "I'm scared you'll leave me!"
I took her in my arms, told her she was "my girl," and mentally pictured myself hanging on the rim after a massive slam dunk.
Then she recovered her shit and said "well, I don't need you, but I want you. Blah blah..."
Have no idea how I got into that conversation with her. There's a Own Your Shit post for me next week.
I'm such a dick.
[–]Squeezymypenisy1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why do you type so strange?
[–]rurpe0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
AWALT does not necessarily mean that all women will behave a certain way. It means that all women are capable of behaving that way due to their nature. It comes from general gender discussions where you will hear people say "not all men/women are like that". It is a way for disccus behavior with devolving into discussions of specific women.
For your specific situation, you need to keep the attraction up. Lift, read the sidebar, etc.
No surprise. Most women have a backup plan/man. If your not going to be able take care of your shit(her), she needs to be able to jump ship, this is usually when your at your weakest. It sounds like you've picked yourself up from the bottom and beginning to work your way back up. Nothing you've said about your woman is surprising or shocking. I'm actually pleased she said what she really wants. You to take charge and lead.
[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First off, this should be on askMRP.
Second, what do YOU want? If you next her without fixing yourself you'll just repeat the pattern.
[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My point is you need to own it either way. She's not cheated yet, so it is salvageable. If you want her, man up.
(Edit: Man up in the RP way that is...)
[–]dandar4600Unplugging1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You do what you want to do. Now you realize that there is capacity for all women to act on hypergamy and yours acted on it real soon in your marriage. It's now up to you whether you want to give her the improved you or give it to another girl who will become the mother of your children. It's totally up to you, not us to make that decision. Leaving her now is easy, once you have kids the decision is much more complicated.
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[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR10 points11 points12 points (19 children) | Copy Link
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