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Shit test question

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January 21, 2019
7 upvotes

I was out with the wife the other night and she threw the "were you just checking out those other girls right there" shit test at me. I had honestly not been at that instance. Froze up at the time, and answered honestly (no) as that was the only answer in my frame at the time. I honestly had not in that instance, despite having checked out plenty others that night, and didnt have something canned to throw back. But I've been trying to think of a good response after the fact, because I'm sure she'll throw that one again. I got it a few times when we started dating and haven't seen it in years... so that's a good sign at least. Would something like "would it upset you if I was" (pressure flip and not really answering) or "yep. them and every other chick in the bar" (AA) be good answers here? I feel like this question is a landmine in particular... especially because I'm 7 years younger and probably a good point or two higher, and she's well aware of that fact. What other answers would work well here?


Post Information
Title Shit test question
Author mrp_awakening
Upvotes 7
Comments 71
Date 21 January 2019 11:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203658
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ai9f87/shit_test_question/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
frameshit test
Comments

[–]mrpthrowa14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Oh yeah, look at them titties!"

"Whoa! quite a pair of buns eh?"

You catch my drift. You're a male, you enjoy seeing tits. Act as if it's completely normal. If she doesn't understand that, there is something fundamentally wrong with her.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Much better. Thanks.

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please don't call them "buns."

[–]PersaeusRed Beret15 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy

"yes, see anything you like"

[–]drty_prRed Beret5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

"Ya, but her ass isn't as nice as your's, so were still straight"

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Almost went with something like that, but didn't want to come across as DEERing. "Yes I was, but it's okay for your feelings because" DEER. Also kind of puts her on a pedestal. So passing in that frame isn't much better than passing in a "no I wasn't" frame so long as you don't show guilt (I didn't). An answer which makes her feel some pressure/slightly uncomfortable is ideal in my mind.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

DEER

I see this as push/pull. Yes I was checking out other women (push), but you have a nice ass (pull).

But you have to have the right mindset to pull this off. It can't be "my wife is mad, so let me say this to make her feel better" - then you are DEERing.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ah, yeah I could see it in that light. But either way, wouldn't it be better to sow a little discomfort, let it sit a bit longer than half a sentence, and have her earn back the pull rather than give it freely?

The way it was originally phrased, it comes across to me as trying to give the right answer, and then giving an excuse for it. I've tried similar before and you could literally see my wife's face light up on the push, then turn negative on the pull. She'd then respond with something bitter.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude... just do what you think is right in the moment; be your own judge. You're overthinking way too much... and that's coming from a guy who overthinks / plans for contingencies for everything in life (which makes me damn good at my job but not so much my relationship).

This isn't 4-D chess. What's your reading list look like? I would spend a lot of quality time with the sidebar readings.

Follow this guide if you aren't already. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2vykau/a_guide_for_beginners_to_mrp/

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're overthinking way too much

Guilty as charged.

which makes me damn good at my job but not so much my relationship

Amen brother.

What's your reading list look like? I would spend a lot of quality time with the sidebar readings.

I've read the core readings through, but some have been a while ago. I should brush up on them.

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're overthinking way too much

Guilty as charged.

Stop trying so hard to RedPill. It'll do little more than make you do mental gymnastics while putting you in a perpetual state of anger.

Understand it's a journey with no destination and it continues to get better. OYS, lift, read and STFU. It'll happen naturally if you let it. Eventually you won't care what your wife thinks and you'll take solace in knowing you're doing the right thing. Eventually you won't need to think other women want you because you'll know they do. Eventually you won't wonder how strong you are because you'll look around the gym and know. Etc.

Just work on you and enjoy the whole thing

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree. I'm not trying too hard, and what in any of this thread suggests I'm in an anger phase? I'm through that pretty far by now.

I already have self confidence. I already see women staring at me. Looking away all coy when I catch them, make eye contact, and hold. Laughing when I make stupid jokes. Etc... I frequently catch all sorts of IOIs from younger attractive women and have that internalized in my frame. If I wanted some strange, i probably wouldn't have to work too hard for it.

Likewise with lifting. When I'm almost putting up my bodyweight on a strict form OHP, dudes be mirin. Not that I need to compare... my confidence is pretty much internalized by now.

This post was about shit tests and some replies drifted to game in general. Those are admittedly sticking points for me. I know that's where my weak point is, so thats what I was asking about. I tend to overthink them, and that often makes it worse for me. If you have any advice in shit tests or game in general though, I'm all ears.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

> I feel like this question is a landmine in particular...

There is the crux of the matter, your perception of the question.

You felt guilty and she could see it. Her insecurities are not your problem, they are hers.

This was a very basic shit test, but it triggered some anxiety in you to freeze up and DEER.

Figure out why it does and you won't be caught flat footed like this in the future.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

Yeah, I caught me because she's responded in anger to that before and I was caught off guard because I honestly hadn't been checking anyone out. It was a quick mix of confusion, and yes, anxiety. Part of the anxiety though was not having a go-to frame... had I been checking out a chick I would have simply owned it and defended that. Simple. Instead my thoughts were along the lines of "was I", "who's she talking about", "quick think of a frame", etc... and then I realized I had nothing and it was getting too long. I took the honest answer and held frame there, and forfeited an attraction building frame. Part of what really tripped me up was it was something true in character (I do check out chicks) but not true in that instance (eyes drifted while I was thinking). Maybe it would have been better to just say yes and try owning it without seeing who she was accusing me of staring at. I know it was a test in hindsight because when she's gotten angry in the past it was just anger, no preceding question.

[–]GroundbreakingDevil2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

... Part of the anxiety though was not having a go-to frame...

Fixed it for you.

had I been checking out a chick I would have simply owned it and defended that.

What's the first "D" in DEER? Don't do that. When you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar you should be shooting her a shit eating grin, a wink, and continue getting you a damn cookie. If she's been nice, grab one for her, too.

Simple. Instead my thoughts were along the lines of "was I", "who's she talking about", "quick think of a frame", etc... and then I realized I had nothing and it was getting too long. I took the honest answer and held frame there, and forfeited an attraction building frame. Part of what really tripped me up was it was something true in character (I do check out chicks) but not true in that instance (eyes drifted while I was thinking).

Your go-to, conditioned response is feeling guilty, because you're a naughty boy who's been bad and disappointed Mommy in the past.

Do you even NMMNG/WISNIFG, bro?

Maybe it would have been better to just say yes and try owning it without seeing who she was accusing me of staring at. I know it was a test in hindsight because when she's gotten angry in the past it was just anger, no preceding question.

You're scared of your wife's disapproval.

Since we're here in fantasy land, imagine a response that amuses you irrespective of your wife; next time, do that.

What came to mind for me for this scenario is:

"No, but thanks for pointing them out; you're going to be a great wingman someday. Which one do you want?"

Or

"Meh. She's not really my type, I prefer [something your wife is not]." - use with caution, you're probably not ready to pick fights with your wife for fun.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Fixed it for you.

Yep. Didn't have a frame to act on, and got caught like a deer in the headlights.

What's the first Day in DEER? Don't that. When you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar you did be shooting her a shit eating grin, a wink, and continue getting you a damn cookie. If she's been nice, grab one for her, too.

Was talking about defending my frame, not my actions. That's what a shit test is... 2 frames collide and the stronger, better defended frame wins. That's exactly what I meant in my earlier response... had I legitimately been caught, it would have been simpler. Agree would have been the go to, and I could have done it with congruence. Unfortunately, I had been thinking about something and my eyes drifted to the corner of the room, and when she threw that question at me part of the panic was realizing that I only had a shit frame to respond with. I wasn't gonna go DEER by explaining how I was thinking and my eyes wandered and don't worry I was looking at the wall. Just said no I wasn't and broken recorded it. I was close to "admitting to it" and agree for the fun of it, and rolling with that... but I felt like I wouldn't be congruent and she'd see through it. I held the "no" frame without DEERing, and that was easy because I was congruent... but I feel like winning with that frame was neutral at best. I'd have much preferred to have an attraction building frame and win with that.

Your go-to, conditioned response feeling guilty, because you're a naughty boy who's been bad and disappointed Mommy in the past.

Wasn't guilty, but part of my stumbling was the realization that my honest answered frame would come off that way. So I froze for a second while trying to think of a better frame in that second. In the end, my frame did hold without me resorting to DEERing, but not after she probed harder.

You're scared of your wife's disapproval. Since we're here in fantasy land, imagine a response that amuses you irrespective of your wife. Think in terms of a bad porno plot, if you must.

Not scared of wife's disapproval... but I wouldn't want to needlessly poke a bear in the eye. I know this test will get put on me again, and I'd like to have a go-to frame with a humorous canned line in my back pocket.

"No, but thanks for pointing them out; you're going to be a great wingman someday."

That's a perfect answer. Thanks.

"Meh. She's not really my type, I prefer [something your wife is not]." - use with caution, you're probably not ready to pick fights with your wife for fun.

That might actually work too. I'm pretty facetious at times, to the point where she can't tell if I'm being serious or not. If [something your wife is not] were picked carefully (slightly outrageous, but not too much), and spoken correctly (dead serious), I could make it work. Have the test go off like water on a ducks back but leave her confused and wondering if I'm serious. I'm not ready to pick fights though... but I can tell I'm getting closer. In the last week or two, I've noticed things that set her off a few months ago haven't now. So something is working. Maybe pretty soon I might be able to throw something that would intentionally "pick a fight" just to amuse myself and see how she takes it.

[–]Kpwn882 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Was talking about defending my frame

You are going about this like a sperg. A strong frame doesn't need to be defended i.e. a lion doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Point taken. Thanks.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Frame is not an act you want to put up for certain occasions, it is just a point of reference from where you view the world. Do you respond to the world or does the world respond to you? From the interaction with your wife you were solidly in her frame, she interrogated you and you failed. Where you want to be is when you decide whether or not you even will respond to an interrogation. Why even respond to shit? You view the question as a landmine. Landmines are dangerous, that question was not.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Frame is not an act you want to put up for certain occasions, it is just a point of reference from where you view the world.

I've understood that for a while, and always thought of frame as being how hard can I hold onto my current worldview. My issue was when she threw something at me that was completely unexpected, and I had nothing to go to. If I was checking out chicks, my frame would be to own it because owning my actions is part of my frame.

However... the rest of your response, and how you framed the shit test, made me think differently about it than I have all day. You framed her question as an interrogation... and I think for a split second I did as well the other night. However, this has made me realize and see shit tests for what they really are. She asked a bullshit question (shit test), and what I think the answer she was looking for was not anything that came out of my mouth, but rather how I interpreted the question. It wasn't a battle of two frames... really its a ping to see how I frame her stupid question. I think that's what's meant when some reading materials indicate shit tests are really a test of frame.

If you interpret it as an interrogation (or even a landmine!!!), that implies guilt. If you're alpha, you're not going to be apologetic or guilty for checking other women out. If you show a hint of that on your face... it doesn't matter what you say or if you don't respond. It's a hard fail. (anger)

If interpret it as a stupid question, and answer accordingly, without telegraphing any negative emotions, that's a step better. But you're still reacting to her, which still frames her as a superior. She asks stupid questions, and you're a dancing monkey. This is where I landed the other night. I'm certain I didn't show any fear/negativity when it got asked, even for that split second. No DEERing, no angry response from her. I do know I showed a bit of confusion prior to denying, but that made the denial authentic. But ultimately I was still in a reactive frame. Not a good place to be. Soft fail. (no anger but negative attraction)

So if answering without getting rattled is still a partial lose, the best solution is to interpret it as a stupid question, and respond to her attempt to generate a reaction by trying to make her react instead. That's the essence of a bunch of the "good answers" in this thread. Playfully turn it into a play on her insecurities. Like thanking her for pointing them out. Asking if she wants a threesome with them. Saying she's not your type, but mention your type is something she's not. The frame shifts to you being in control of the situation. (attraction)

I still feel like I need some canned answers to things now, because your response has to be almost instant... hesitation implies reaction. But maybe after passing more of them, I'll be able to navigate through without needing to think. Thanks for the comment... it made me view it in a different light.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are starting to get it. Remember to keep it light and fun, you do sound like a serious guy. This stuff ends up being fun, shit tests become amusing because you can see it for what it is.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red13 points14 points  (23 children) | Copy

No one ITT knows shit. Every response is wrong and is focusing on the tree and not the fucking forrest.

The reason your wife asked this is not because of other women.

It is because you were not GAMING her all night long.

If you had properly been kinoing your woman, playing around making moves her vagina would have been talking and not her hamster.

But her pussy was dry and hamster was running.

Her eyes were people watching and looking at other women. She was not physically or mentally engaged because she was on a date with another vagina.

You wife wanted attention.

And you failed at providing it.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Nailed it.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (21 children) | Copy

The reason your wife asked this is not because of other women.

I don't think anyone ever said that. She asked me this because it's a shit test and women do that. You're getting divorced and currently playing the field, so you might not be getting tested as often. When I started dating my wife, she never tested me either and laid me like tile 2-3x/day. This went on for months. Being physically attractive can get you real far. Shit tests started though when the honeymoon stage ended. You're right though... my game has been lacking recently. My frame kinda sucked for a year or two. That's why LTR's are tough... there's no off time, and you can't hit the reset button without completely nuking everything in your life (finances, time with kids, etc...). I have been trying to read and sidebar for game, but seeing as you're real successful with pick-up, what resources would you recommend looking at first? Any pointers from your own experience? Thanks.

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

He says it was not about the other women because everyone is assuming she is jealous of them. This wasn't as much of a shit test as a comfort test or a bid for attention. If it WAS about other women, she'd have called you out WHEN YOU WERE checking out some hotties.

BTW...

I'm 7 years younger and probably a good point or two higher

If both of these are true AND you are exhibiting more alpha than beta behavior, you should have a shit ton of dread going on here and receiving a lot of comfort tests from her insecurities as well as mate-guarding actions like blowjobs and touchy-feely behavior in public around other women.

Read up.....

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3dzppv/how_to_distinguish_between_a_shit_test_and/

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This wasn't as much of a shit test as a comfort test or a bid for attention

Hard to know based on the information given which one it was. Differences can be really subtle and I mistake comfort tests for shit tests all the time. This post always is a good refresher.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

100% shit test. I've seen em both.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Nah man.

If OP was high value she never calls him out overtly for checking out other women. Period.

She makes sure she that she chokes on his dick to keep him interested in her and not other females.

OPs wive has at least a mild attraction to OP. He was to autistic to fucking do anything about it. Was not running game at all.

She was bored so she tossed a lame shit test to the beta faggot he was being.

She was begging for any attention, even if negative.

He tosses out every fucking excuse in the book to every helpful reply ITT, doesn’t want to learn and doesn’t appreciate the help.

Fuck OP

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

If OP was high value she never calls him out overtly for checking out other women. Period.

so this is why i never get called out?

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

... because it's assumed that this happens. So why roll in the bullshit?

You ever just do it blatantly?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You ever just do it blatantly?

yes, when there's hotties around. i have never even bothered to hide it. can't think of why i would really

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yup.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck you too brother.

You're angry as fuck, but you got some damn good perspective on things. I appreciate the unrestrained feedback.

doesn’t want to learn and doesn’t appreciate the help.

Absolutely want to learn, and am thankful for the guidance given in this thread. I'll ask again... do you have any preferred references for game? You've got some damn good skills there, and if there's any references in particular I'll direct my attention there. If not, I'll go fuck off and find some myself.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've seen comfort tests and shit tests from her. This was a run of the mill shit test. Wouldn't say I passed it, because I chose a bad frame to hold onto which didn't generate attraction. But I didn't fail it either, as failing will almost without fail either piss her off or result in a further barrage of shit tests/compliance testing. My subcommunicated emotions were congruent. The result was on par, or slightly worse, than ignoring it outright.

you should have a shit ton of dread going on here and receiving a lot of comfort tests from her insecurities as well as mate-guarding actions like blowjobs and touchy-feely behavior in public around other women.

That was how it was when our relationship started, but isn't really that way anymore. We've had 2 kids in the last 4 years, and the beta behavior has slowly replaced alpha. Was never too great at passing shit tests before, but it never really mattered as she was so deep in dread that I never really got much of them anyways. But I think a steady stream of failing them over years has slowly eaten into her attraction.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yeah. Try gaming your wife next time. I already said it in my OR.

Sitting next to her at the bar? Pull her chair in and toss her leg over yours.

Siting in a booth? Lemme guess, you are the fag that sits on the other side?

Table with four chairs? Where she sitting?

If its not next to you then you are not trying.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Siting in a booth? Lemme guess, you are the fag that sits on the other side?

Never was that fag until we had kids that need to get managed. The 2 year old sure as hell isn't sitting on one side of the booth all by herself.

This night in particular though, we were out by ourselves, but ended up in 2 seater tables sitting across from each other in both venues we went to. That's never my preference, but sometimes can't be avoided.

I do know kino game pretty well, and that's not really a weakness for me. In fact, I probably rely too strongly on kino and need to back off some. Over the years, too much kino can appear physically needy and overbearing, and when it's too commonplace it fails to produce the intended effect. I've been working to still incorporate it and still give the sexual undertones (game) without showing neediness or being overbearing (push-pull more with kino, etc...). Where I struggle more is with verbal game, shit tests, making tension, etc...

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You bore me and DEER like my 9 year old baby girl.

Fuck off.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I fagged up that reply hardcore. You're on point about the DEERing too. Thanks for the help.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

too much kino can appear physically needy and overbearing

If you're doing it for the wrong reasons yes. If you do it because you enjoy it versus a covert contract or getting validation, then it's not going to come across needy. You're overthinking things and operating in her frame. I'm not going to do "X" because SHE might think it's needy.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very good point, and thanks for the perspective. It doesn't matter what she thinks, I'll do as I please.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

“When I started dating my wife, she never tested me either and laid me like tile 2-3x/day”

Because she was on her best behavior- auditioning for the part as wife.

She shit tests begin after the honeymoon phase ends- when real life begins... and you’re failing miserably.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She shit tests begin after the honeymoon phase ends- when real life begins... and you’re failing miserably.

Yup. What do you think led me here? Out of curiosity, do you have a good go-to guide for game?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Listen to every RSD video on YT.

Listen to all of Sasha daygames videos too.

Roosh IV has 2 books. Bang (night game) & day bang (day game- meeting chicks during the day)

Tom Terero - has a book called street hustle. Watch all his videos in YT. He follows a formula- he follows the London day game model.

It’s a science and art. Don’t focus on which one is better. It’s all basically the same. Styles differ, find the one that fits you, that reasonates with you. If Tyson tried to box like Ali or tiger tried to swing like someone else, they all would have sucked. Learn the basics, then do it your way.

Have fun with it. The tools are great, but it’s the mindeset that really helped me. I went from a shy nerdy engineer type to a fucking beast in 5 years.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. I'll be sure to check those out. I agree... the mindset/frame is more important than canned lines in an LTR. There's only so long before you run out of material.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

TL;DR:

Just walk up and grab em’ in the pussy.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Oh no! shit.. i missed it... where is she?"

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Girls???? They are WOMEN. Show some fucking respect, Cheryl."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank her for pointing them out. "I hadn't seen them before, but now that you mention it they are pretty sexy."

Unless they weren't, in which case say so. "No not really my type. That one over there, on the other hand..."

As others have noted, you're a man and you're going to notice good looking women. You're especially going to notice good looking women when your wife is pointing them out to you.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As others have noted, you're a man and you're going to notice good looking women. You're especially going to notice good looking women when your wife is pointing them out to you.

Perfect frame. I think when your frame is in the box, the answers roll off the tongue naturally. These answers have helped a lot. Thanks.

[–]Red-Curious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Just keeping my eyes open for that threesome we talked about."

[–]Redpillbrigade171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“So I’m not the only one thinking about threesomes, huh. Show me the one you liked, babe.”

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When they say something and you dont have a snappy comeback loaded just picture what we are going going to say once you post the question on askMRP.

Like actually try and picture in your mind the fag jokes. Try and guess thundercocks reply.

You will start laughing and then that's the topic of the conversation. What's so dam funny. Now you are in control of the exchange.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Shit, I wasn't paying attention! Were they hot? Let's go back... I need a look!"

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"No, but, thanks for pointing them out!"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

More important to learn to be less afraid of saying the wrong thing/ getting a bad reaction than it is to learn to say the "right" thing.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's a valuable piece of advice right there. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it helps to think of it this way: women are not computer programs or math tests. There's no "correct" answer or "right" input. Attitude and confidence matter more than what you say. But in the end, your goal should be to feel better about yourself and more confident for YOU and not for her. The "right" thing to say will flow from a place of being confident and feeling good about yourself.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

"What did I miss?" Looks around.

froze up

You are going to want to figure out why you did that. Why did you freeze up?

Also, why were you not looking? Are you that beaten down you are terrified to look? Do you do any tricks?

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I do have to figure that out. The question caught me by surprise and in that instance I wrongly assumed that I needed to tread carefully. Seems like the right answer is to just not give a shit... I have to work harder on internalizing that.

As to why I hadn't been checking them out... the bar we were at absolutely loaded with hot 20 somethings. Everywhere you look there's be like at least 5. I had been checking chicks out all night and honestly, I was getting bored at looking from afar. Kinda gives a bit of abundance mentality, and you temporarily stop giving a shit about it.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

You haven’t put in the work yet faggot. Only betas get this shit test. Basic 101 shit.

If you’re doing it right, your wife will start pointing out hot women for you to look at. That’s when you know you’ve arrived.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

your wife will start pointing out hot women for you to look at. That’s when you know you’ve arrived.

Every time I think I'm doing well, one of your posts gives me a much-needed reality check for how far I have to go.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Yeah... I'm pretty sure that was a missed opportunity and could have been exactly what she was doing. She probably knew full well that I wasn't, but threw the question to see what I'd do. I just broken recorded that I wasn't, as the honest frame was my only frame at that point. Didn't explain or DEER... just said I wasn't. She followed it up by saying they weren't "that hot", but "were skinny", etc... I know it was a missed opportunity, and that's why I was asking for feedback.

Shit tests are admittedly a weak point for me... and definitely where I need to focus my efforts. I have a tendency to overthink things (engineer), and also tend to inadvertently subcommunicate my emotion. The emotion aspect I've been getting under control lately. I realized that the issue wasn't trying to conceal it when I get upset, but rather that I got upset in the first place. Holding a positive, happy frame so there's no butthurt to get subcommunicated has alone worked wonders. But that's only half the battle... the other half is a quick response without overthinking things. And I know that the words don't matter that much with shit tests (it's to see if she can rattle some negative emotions out of your frame), but I'd rather not freeze up without something to say. By answering and passing with the frame of "no I wasn't", I just avoided any negative outcome. Had I shown negative emotion or gotten rattled, she would have responded in anger... so in that regard I did pass on the emotional front... but passing in a better frame (saying yes) would have generated attraction rather than doing nothing or potentially hurting attraction by passing with the saying no frame.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Engineer here too, so that’s not an excuse to be a beta. It’s your advantage- because you know how to learn.

You seem to have all the lingo down, but missing the attitude (Frame) to go along with it. You’re balls deep in your wife’s purse. You’re still afraid of upsetting mommy.

Read as many example problems as possible ==>.

Learn some basic game. You sound way too serious. Do you tease her, pick her up, Game her?

Get out your head, don’t over think the responses. Develope a cocky playful asshole attitude around your wife. When you actually play the part- that YOU are the PRIZE, the quick-witted responses will just flow naturally through you. It’s fun as fuck passing those fitness tests. When she sees that you ARE the Prize, she’ll do anything to keep you happy.

She’ll hate it at first- because you’re Beta faggot.

Are you lifting?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s your advantage- because you know how to learn.

Engineer as well, listen to MCT - he knows his shit. And learn what you can but you have to also put it into practice. I find the more I enjoy 'experimenting' with RP tools - especially game, the more enjoyable life is. It truly is like a 'game' to me and getting your wife to react is a helluva lot of fun. One caution - you'll likely go overboard at first (aka Rambo). Try to minimize this as much as possible. You have your wife on a pedestal right now... and when you realize she should not have been up there in the first place you'll get really pissed - at her, at yourself, and the world. This is why lifting is 100% needed. 3-4x per week and get all your anger out.
I find if I get angry about something outside of my lifting time, I go do some pushups. 100% makes me feel better.

that YOU are the PRIZE

Once you start truly believing this. But you have to truly believe it. And getting into this state of mind even 10% of the time is going to be hard at the beginning. But you're not special. I thought I was special and my wife was a unicorn; I'll give you two guesses what happened to that hypothesis.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Engineer here too, so that’s not an excuse to be a beta. It’s your advantage- because you know how to learn.

Yup... that's why I'm here.

Learn some basic game. You sound way too serious. Do you tease her, pick her up, Game her?

Been starting to again. Had a bit of an anger phase, and that was definitely being subcommunicated. It made her bitchy... I'd try to tease/game, and she'd respond defensively in anger. I'd get angrier/more frustrated. Choosing to just be happy and not get angry has helped immensely. I realized that I can lead the emotions in the relationship by just choosing to be in a good mood. I lead, she follows. What a concept. When things are in a better mood, she's more receptive to teasing and doesn't get defensive... who knew? I was an idiot.

Get out your head, don’t over think the responses. Develope a cocky playful asshole attitude around your wife. When you actually play the part- that YOU are the PRIZE, the quick-witted responses will just flow naturally through you. It’s fun as fuck passing those fitness tests. When she sees that you ARE the Prize, she’ll do anything to keep you happy.

Yep, that's the goal. Everything circles back to frame. Part of me asking about good responses, was to help internalize the frame that I need to work towards. This whole thread has been a lot of help.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Shit test encyclopedia here

Start internalizing faggot.

You dodged my lifting question. It will help with the anger phase. Call yourself a pussy with each rep. Curse her for making you do this.

She’s responding in anger because she fucking resents you. You were a pussy and forced her to take the lead- she didn’t ask for that. She only sees you as a Beta. Betas get rules and shamed for looking at hot chicks. She needz masculine polarity in order to be happy- less bitchy, sexless, and harpy.

You have a long uphill battle. Hit the gym, develop your new frame.

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Missed it. No issue there... been lifting, and heavy, since before I met her. Started keto in June, and currently in the best shape of my life right now. Lifts have stayed the same or gone up, while I've shed ~35 lbs of fat. I see women checking me out on a daily basis, and I'm sure she does too.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

great. Is she fucking you ?

[–]mrp_awakening[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's the 1x-2x/week plan. Ideally would like to be on the 1x-2x/day plan.

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Laugh, smack her on the ass and change the subject to how sexy she looks.

[–]BluBlac590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women pick younger men because they are easier to control and manipulate. I'll bet she's told you of how badly treated by 'real jerks" she was in the past.and you thought I'll be good to her and she'll love me for it. She's got 7 years more than you in this game. I would suggest that you get out and fix yourself. Bang a few women and if you get one make sure she's at least 10 years younger with less sexual experience. Life can be good. Your now wife will make it as painful as she can because you're the prize, not her. Tough it it out it will be worth it. She's post wall and you were checking out women that she can't compete with so she's conditioning you not to look. Are you a puppy to be trained for good behavior or are you a man that likes attractive women ?



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