Wife Shit Testing

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November 4, 2018

I hate whining but I need to get this bullshit my wife did off my chest. My wife and I went out for drinks with one of her friends and another girlfriend of hers from out of town. After a drink at this one place, my wife suggests we all go to another bar that she and her friend went to when I was out of town last week. We get to this other bar and the bartender (big fucking guy) comes around the bar, introduces himself to me, and then walks over to my wife and picks her up. She laughs and they talk a bit. I'm standing there like a fucking asshole with no idea what to do other than to kick this dude in the gut and fuck her friend's hot friend (I don't do either). Then we sit down she and the bartender talk for awhile. I end up flirting with her friend for a bit, ignoring my wife, cause fuck her. After we get home I tell her how fucked up it was to let another man pick her up like that and she just plays if off like she didn't have a choice and how she was just being her friend's wingman last week and her friend was interested in the bartender and so that's how they became friendly with the bartender. Well this guy didn't touch my wife's friend or really talk to her the whole time we were at the bar. Ok. My bullshit radar is going off. I now know when I'm out of town and she's out with her shitbag friends she flirts with guys while I'm sitting in a fucking hotel room by myself like an asshole. Time to frame up and get lifting. Fucking bullshit .

EDIT: as an update to this. I went through her phone and found a text exchange with another guy in which he says they tried to fool around but were too drunk.

Looking for a lawyer now.

Fellas learn from this. Where is smoke, there’s fire.

Post Information
Title Wife Shit Testing
Author throwawaystarkness
Upvotes 34
Comments 59
Date 04 November 2018 12:25 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203824
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9u2xz0/wife_shit_testing/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
frameshit testlift

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret52 points53 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always painful when reality peels back our protective self-delusions to expose the ego to truth.

Bartender showed you your wife lacks appropriate boundaries. Your wife showed you she gives two fucks about what you think.

Truth often hurts but be grateful. Like it or not you’re better off today than you were yesterday. The only thing to consider is how you choose to react. And any reaction that includes words or anyone else is a waste of fucking time. Change the inside and the outside will change in accordance.

[–]jakethesnake500020 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know what needs to be done, so go out there and do it. Lift the weights, read the sidebar and books, and instill the dread. The stay plan is the same as the go plan, never forget that.

[–]An_Actual_Politician12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's what I do as soon as I touch down somewhere for business and I know I'll have at least one night free. I fire up a couple dating apps and do some swiping. Sets my location and puts me at the top of girls decks as fresh meat. Usually takes a few hours, then the matches start. Make some jokes, be fun, let them know I've never been here before and am looking for someone to go to some fun new places with.

The beta/provider hunters fall off fast. Pick the best looking one and make plans for the free night. Spend night with them, which invariably leads to a close as I play to their business man in a nice hotel who they don't have to worry about bumping into again fantasies.

Given your wife's apparent activities in your absence, I'd recommend you try it. Even if you just catch and release - it builds abundance which will come in handy on the home front.

Oh and this also gives me extra motivation to go ham in the usually lacking hotel gym before heading out.

[–]Red-Nerd1311 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Would simply turning around and leaving in this instance be a decent choice? That's my first thought. Just turn around and leave, go do something else, whether that's a good time elsewhere, or mission focused.

To me that shows you DNGAF and that you'll do your own thing with or without her. If she wants to be apart of it, then she has to behave and respect you. If she doesn't, then you will set her aside.

Stay plan is Go plan.

It might not be the right call, but I would have just left. I'm not going to stay and watch that. This will likely piss her off, but then that allows her to come to you angry and you can talk to her about it from your frame.

She asks why you left her there, you explain that her behavior was inappropriate and you're not going to put up with it. Your words meant nothing to her, but taking some action means everything.

Actions speak louder than words, you complained to her, but you stayed and put up with it. She knows she holds the cards. The moment you take action and STFU, you just shuffled the deck.

That's my take, others can chime in on that.

[–]SuperCrazy0713 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Walking out was my thought. Whining makes you look like a pussy. Staying and keeping your mouth seems pathetic.

[–]ozfish8311 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wouldn't walking out just make you look like a butt hurt child?

I feel like OPs course of action was the best... ignore the situation and the wife for the rest of the night and flirt with her friends instead. Then address it privately with the wife later.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret23 points24 points  (27 children) | Copy

So basically you whined to your wife like a faggot about some dude manhandling her and giving her tingles and you expect her to not treat you like a faggot ?

The problem is you being such a faggot that your wife let a guy manhandle her without consequences.

Do you feel better after the puke ?

[–]prometheus_winced4 points5 points  (26 children) | Copy

Several good answers in this thread. Is the MRP consensus that there is no better action he could have done “in the moment”, that everything is about long-term plan?

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret6 points7 points  (24 children) | Copy

It’s about being consistent with your own self. Nothing HE could have done IN THAT moment would matter because anything WE say to do is tied to OUR frame.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (23 children) | Copy

Telling him to put your wife down is the ONLY way it should have been played.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret2 points3 points  (22 children) | Copy

No. Her telling the dude to fuck off is the only way it should have gone down

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (21 children) | Copy

Agreed. But there is no way he should have let that go down. I don’t care how big the bartender is.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Well, I think that the sap bartender may have been told by whore wife that she was single, so, when he saw OP, he just thought that he was a date for the night and could go ahead and give her a 'Cheers" type greeting. Maybe. To me, this is one of those 'wife set the stage for this' kind of things, not a 'husband needs to get bad' scenario.

Of course, OP had no reason to think that what happened was going to happen, so, he was stunned.

ETA: One thing that we need to keep in mind: bartender picking up wife no doubt lasted only a second or two. By the time any normal person would have time to react, she would have been back down on the floor, released from bartender's grip. The operative part of the account was whore wife still gabbing to him after this display. Wife was the villain, not bartender.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I think rising to the occasion at the drop of a hat and having the confidence, ability, and quick thinking to not let being “stunned” keep you from being able to handle things in the moment. I think that is the bare minimum hallmark of being a capable man. I would have told the guy to put my wife down, asked my wife what the fuck is going on (and probably for her hand over her phone), and called out her bullshit about the wingman story all within about 45 seconds.

My gut serves me right... just read OPs history. His wife cheating with atleast 2 guys.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think that is the bare minimum hallmark of being a capable man.

No, you're putting too big a burden on the brother. "...the quick thinking...capable man." This is too, too much. He may be quite manly, and, may have thought that his world was secure. What is there in TRP that says that you cannot be stunned when your world has turned upside down? What fucking alpha knows up front that some goon that has just introduced himself and walked by is going to physically pick up his wife?

No, the situation he was put in was an ambush. Ask any of your military pals that have been ambushed how well they responded. Shit, a fucking blowout on the highway puts people, even alphas, into panic mode, let alone stuff like this.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree to disagree

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh, one thing further: He wasn't a total cuck (actually, I think he did MORE than was politic because-->) he flirted w/his wife's friend. He didn't win the war, but, he won the battle.

[–]Bedtimeshine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He didn’t win shit if she was already fucking 2 guys, lining up a third, blatantly lieing to her husband after just being in another mans arms, and not giving a fuck that he was flirting with her friend.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

It’s not about the bartender.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

In the moment... the actions of the bartender need to be addressed. Period.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

Pistols at 12 paces ?

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

A simple “put my wife down” would suffice.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stay plan is the go plan.

It’s not giving a fuck, but it’s also showing frame in these situations, and truly realize what’s going on.

Lift. Read. Keep your eyes and ears peeled on her behavior.

Next her if you must

[–]Downtowndex7214 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

My bullshit detector is also going off regarding them trying to set the bartender up with your wife's friend. I feel he pulled an AMOG on you, and worse of all, it's entirely his frame. He's got bouncers and the law on his side, as your wife didn't seem to mind being picked up. Both he and especially she have some nerve to do that in front of you.

I agree with you on frame, but I think it's not so much time to get lifting as it's time to instill dread and possibly leave her if you can't control this behavior.

Suppose you lifted and got to look like an Adonis. Would that have changed the outcome of what happened? Would you have physically assaulted the bartender? Would you have said something to him or her? I feel that it would have cost you dearly in her eyes to do that.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you on frame, but I think it's not so much time to get lifting as it's time to instill dread and possibly leave her if you can't control this behavior.

He's already consulting a lawyer; she had tried to fuck some other dude and he was too drunk, per her cell phone.

[–]adeptintact11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

More likely than not, your wife is cheating on you. You complaining to her about her flirting is the weakest beta move and makes her turned off even more. You need to alpha up and be ready to leave her.

[–]bucSlayer13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

Man, the guy fucking picked her up in front of you and she let and kept talking with him. What do you think she does while you’re not around? That she just flirts? Man wtf is this passiviness of yours? I don’t mean you have to argue or hit her, but are you gonna stay with her after this? WHAT THE FUCK. You should tell her “my wife would never do such thing, bye” and fucking forget about her, like she is less than a ant.

[–]CucumberedSandwiches-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

How insecure would a person have to be to get divorced over this?

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You forgot to read the part where OP looks at her text messages and the other dude couldn't fuck her because he was too drunk.

[–]CucumberedSandwiches1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I didn't forget. That part didn't exist when this person suggested the divorce.

[–]bucSlayer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man, don’t be insecure, be a cuck, be free. if you are secure it’s ok

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only play to make is in the handicap washroom. You have to look yourself in the mirror and accept that this is the result of the decisions you have made up untill this point. I would suggest at this point, seeing as how you are all alone, maby have good cry. Get the booo hooos out. I think a solid cry is in order seeing as how we have had 2 threads on it lately.

Then wipe your fucking tears off and start making different decisions. Start with STFU, lifting, and shots of testosterone.

[–]MrPurplePoison3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trust your gut, start the go plan. This was not the first time this has happened and it won't be the last. She doesn't respect you and you shouldn't waste time fooling yourself into thinking you can earn it. You have been cucked.

She chose to live her life this way, you get to choose how to live yours. Now it's all about you, you, and you. Rise, pheonix, rise!

And get tested.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brother, your gut is telling you something is not right with this picture.

Calm the fuck down, and then get to the bottom of this.

From the sounds of it your wife is leading the charge and her friend is the passenger.

I hate to say it, but it would not be a bad idea to snoop/track your wife from what you describe. Snooping is a beta low value exercise, but being the last to know is even lower.

Don't view the evening as a win/lose event, see it as a heads up, an information gathering exercise.

Keep 'em peeled brother.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta handle it in moment. I don’t care if it’s fucking Brock lesnar... I’m telling him to put my wife down. And I would have called bullshit to her face about him barely even talking to her friend. And I’d ask to see her phone. She played it off because you allowed her to.

[–]VancerX1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No kids, you know you didn't vet and chose wrong, Man make this the happiest day of your life! Fuck, you're free man. Dive into lifting and learning like it's your career, focus on nothing else but that. Look up in 6 months and you'll start seeing the makings of a badass if you do it correctly and stay out of her frame. Then next her, because if she's so insecure to completely disrespect you while you're standing there, she doesn't have the morals and values (or maturity) to even be in the same room as you. But ONLY if you do the work and deserve it. You have a whole nother' life out there waiting for you that you just can't see yet, but clearly others do. But to get the prize, you have to do the process.

[–]throwawaystarkness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck yea. Thanks

[–]HERE2SHILL1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time to divorce OP. And improve yourself.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

AT this juncture, I'd like to say: If you've already served her with divorce papers, go ahead and bang her friend. You've already got a start on the deal.

Further, I have requested a follow up, and I'm anxiously awaiting more, since your post in the Infidelity sub was 9 days ago, and Thanksgiving 4 days ago.

This is too hot to not be kept up to date on! Thanks.

[–]lionmenden0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Do you have kids with your wife?

[–]throwawaystarkness[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

No I don't.

[–]lionmenden1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don't. You picked a low quality woman, on the bad end of the AWALT spectrum. You need to lift for other reasons, but it will not fix this woman. Hopefully it will allow you to replace her with a better one.

[–]throwawaystarkness[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

The very next day she started talking about how she was ready to have kids. The very next fucking morning in fact. After months and months of saying she wasn't ready and may not want kids but would do it for me. I'm putting kids on hold until my head gets right. If have to ice some of my boys I will do it.

[–]SuperCrazy076 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Uhhh...she might be worried a kid is on the way already. Now, she needs to convince you its yours.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This here. This cannot be stressed enough.

I suspect that if she has a baby 9 months from now, it will not look like OPs side of the family.

[–]jorgephilly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Supercrazy is right. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER. She may (probably) had unprotected sex with someone and need to have you have it with her to dispel the possibility that it can be someone else's. Why else would she have such a sudden turnabout.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please don't let wife know until she has her subpoena handed to her.

[–]Eyeswideopend0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop drinking with her if she can’t handle her drink, and elevate his status.

Become a better man

[–]Eyeswideopend0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I’m pretty new to this stuff and fucked up with a post before reading the sidebar, in my humble opinion letting them decide which bar to go was a mistake,

Men can walk into any bar on their own and get a feel for the place, quality women can’t do this...

  1. Suggest a bar you are very comfortable in (maintain frame)
  2. Suggest an unfamiliar bar you walk in with 3 women - women already in the bar will be curious about you. (Dread)
  3. Pass on drinking with your wife and her friends and drink with men (stimulating conversation)

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Dude, you are on page 1, while everybody in this thread has read the book and 5 more besides.

[–]Eyeswideopend0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Seems to me like the advice here is kinda reckless, would be better off getting relationship advice with divorced barflies than some of the nonsense up here - everyone trying to out alpha each other.

Easy to be alpha on forum and lie about your life and give some poor chump a bum steer, but hay the guys with the big karma here have monetised it and don’t give a fuck about some dimwit digitally swinging his Mickey. So go on and tell me what I don’t know

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OK, the OP checked his wife's text, and she tried to fuck some other dude, but, they were both too drunk.

I dunno, what do YOU suggest he do with a whore wife?

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat-3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So what’s your question?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sometimes the puke needs to come out before you get better.

[–]Cthunderc8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Spoken like a shaman on ayahuasca.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


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