Wife thinks when I’m avoiding her shit test I’m being sneaky or shady

youcantdenythat · 2018-09-27T07:35:05+00:00

It's another shit test to see if you are genuine or not. A&A to absurdity. Start singing or something if you have to:

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-09-27T12:09:38+00:00

“she’s asking for no other reason than to keep a tab on everything I’m doing.”

Only Betas have leashes.

UEMcGill · 2018-09-27T11:38:11+00:00

Seems to me she's saying things to get you to justify your behavior. Like she's getting you to judge your own actions? Like there's a book for that.

Use the tactics from WISNIFG. Once or twice is a shit test. Constantly is a boundary violation. Tell her to knock it off and withdraw attention for poor behavior.

"I have nothing to hide, but frankly I don't take well to this constant questioning. I'll be at x until you can behave."

You can't get on the crazy train if no one is at the station.

ReddJive · 2018-09-27T11:16:54+00:00

I am not sure why you give a fuck.

Sometimes no response is necessary. You are falling into the same trap of giving her feedback. Positive or negative feedback is feedback. Give her nothing.

straius · 2018-09-27T13:14:23+00:00

The reason AM is effective is because by indicating you're not taking it seriously, it signals to her that she shouldn't be either. She can choose to do so, but will sense there's something off about her reaction because you're not feeding energy into the dynamic (often times this dissonance makes them angrier at first) and by not feeding into it, you deflate it and she has to expend energy herself to maintain that emotional state.

Eventually she'll tire of it and give it up so long as you are consistent in utilizing absurd humour to deflect her attempts to assert control.

Remember that she's operating on instinct and all of these questions are an intuitive attempt to assert stability so she can allay her existential dread of being alone or unsupported.

I never get shit tested and I believe it's largely because my wife doesn't fear being alone so she doesn't feed her unconscious mind with doubts that generate the need for shit tests.

This is the full circle of why AM can disarm over the long term if applied consistently. Eventually she can take your lead to quell existential fears without relying solely on her testing.

If you get shit tested a lot, then it'll subside some eventually but it will likely never disappear entirely as everyone has a different baseline if insecurity.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-09-27T14:46:41+00:00

You need to master that thing the rock does with his eyebrow to enhance you stfu.

What's all this "I feel" shit. No one gives a fuck about your feelings. Especially her.

Give less fucks about her questions.

If you were training a child to sleep by itself through the night you just have to endure the shit fits it throws out untill it breaks and gives in to the new way of doing things.

Treat her like a child.

threekindsoflucky · 2018-09-27T05:44:23+00:00

'It's not your concern'

or

'Shady? Did you finally figure out my double life as a Colombian drug lord? I've killed for less.' Or whatever works for you.

Sepean · 2018-09-27T05:23:12+00:00

And since I stopped she doesn’t like it. I can see this as probably being a good thing and gauging I’m on the right track.

Not seeing the problem here either.

But any good advice to AM my way through this?

Smirk and STFU.

Or AA it, say something over the top, or the worst thing she could imagine.

Fritz_Frauenraub · 2018-09-27T11:11:41+00:00

You have to laugh at the audacity of her framing. "Shady" implies both "morally suspect" and "furtive". It implies that you're doing bad stuff but without any kind of bad boy glamour. It's a perfectly contemptuous term.

It doesn't really matter what you say...the delivery is everything. The typical AA, served up with a butthurt smirk, is in itself shady af.

Instead of acting like she's your mom and she's not the boss of you, just do what you like when and why you like it and then answer her questions straightforwardly and honestly.

Inner frame is the opposite of shady.

Once you have inner frame then you can AA like crazy... but at that point it doesn't even matter anymore.

2ndal · 2018-09-27T12:07:31+00:00

Who cares what she thinks?

DanG3 · 2018-09-28T15:23:01+00:00

My response is blatantly and confidently, “You don’t need to know everything.” She doesn’t. In fact, their quest to be all knowing goes back to Eve ... we all know what happened with that - how Adam failed to lead - and the RP lesson we all should have learned.

BobbyPeru · 2018-09-27T13:46:27+00:00

The fact that you GAF is a failure of the shit test in and of itself

CalvinRichland · 2018-09-27T05:18:20+00:00

Specific example?

SteelToeShitKicker · 2018-09-27T13:32:53+00:00

"I don't want to talk about it."

You don't need to be a jokester about everything.

[deleted] · 2018-09-27T17:07:26+00:00

Tell her Stacy gets jealous when you share your guys' conversations with her.

RedPillCoach · 2018-09-28T16:15:27+00:00

I get so sick of the bombardment of questions that I will try to avoid them completely either by Stfu. AA. AM.

This is common. Women control the sex, the conversation, the behaviors. They are constantly policing men. It is what they do.

Your response can be acceptance and amusement at her cute little hamster. Or it can be anger & defensiveness. Either way, verbal intercourse is optional. You have no duty to be interrogated by the wife.

What would happen if you told her that henceforth, all Depositions are limited to 30 minutes a day. Further questions may be submitted in writing?

she doesn’t like it. I can see this as probably being a good thing and gauging I’m on the right track.

I think this is a very poor gauge of progress. First YOU are the measure of progress, not the wife. Second, 'she doesn't like it' is a measure of progress? What?

She complained bitterly but less than 2 hours later she gave me a surprise BJ while we were watching TV and then told me how much she loves me.

That is a better measure of progress than "she doesn't like it" but still looking for external validation.

InChargeMan · 2018-09-28T17:33:45+00:00

“Why can’t you just tell me. Why are you being shady?”

The real truth....I'm living a lie... I think I'm a transgender lesbian living in a man's body. All I can think about is fucking pussy, it's like an obsession...

freebase1ca · 2018-09-27T17:06:37+00:00

I would respond with "Let's see how you like being bombarded with questions." Then proceed to bombard her with similar questions.

She may respond for a time, but ultimately she will just say "You're just being annoying" - "exactly".

You may have to do this more than once.

Also, keep in mind that people who don't trust, often have a reason for that. Whether it be past hurt or guilt....

screechhater · 2018-09-27T21:47:20+00:00

If you lifted, you would laugh this shit off. My wife asks shit like this, I just laugh, then tell her to stop cracking jokes because my pecs hurt

Disarm and defuse

Title	Wife thinks when I’m avoiding her shit test I’m being sneaky or shady
Author	DoubleDisatitagain
Upvotes	14
Comments	27
Date	27 September 2018 05:05 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/203966
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9ja05j/wife_thinks_when_im_avoiding_her_shit_test_im/