Background: Was into the RP before marriage, fell off the saddle during marriage. Just started reading the sidebar and the rational male book, lifting again regularly. Not overweight but can improve muscle mass.
Been married for 2 years, no kids, both of us work and have good jobs, own a house. Since we have been married, sex and the overall connection has gone downhill, plus she is gaining weight. Had a huge blow up 6 months ago on a trip, both of us threatened divorce, me so more and I was being over the top an asshole (name calling, etc). She ended up staying in a different hotel room that night, had make up sex in the morning.
She never really got over this, although we discussed it many times at her request. 3 months later she finally gets off the pill (over the argument now I assume). She holds all grudges and it’s something I really don’t like, even after we work through the issue. One example is she wanted a yard sale and I was busy so she blamed me, but I stood my ground and said I told you I would help but not as much as she needed because I was doing Home repairs.
Fast forward to this week. Her relative died and she is more distant and cold than usual. I confront her about it and she said that she doesn’t have any more to give. I say that if you want to leave that’s fine with me, I’ll be ok either way but I’m not leaving the house. She’s crying to I go and be a silent oak and hug her. She ends up saying it’s not going to work a few times and ultimately decides it may. I stay down stairs, she goes to sleep, and have a drink. I’m starting to think it may not work either but I want to make it work because of our vows, but on the other hand I’m ready to move on and become the person I was before we were married that was more selfish and goal orientated.
A divorce may be messy because of the house but I think it would be amicable. Not really sure what to do between the lack of sex (I know this is attraction and respect based, working on it), the regular soft main events from her, etc. anyone else go through anything like this?