Drunk Captain Type 2 Questions

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June 7, 2018
7 upvotes

I've been lurking for about a year, started my MAP about 10 months ago. My issue is not a DB or sexually related. My issue is that I was/am a drunk captain type 2. WISNIFG has become my go to and I've implemented fogging, negative assertion/inquiry which have helped me live my mission without being derailed by her feelings. My concern is I'm about 10 months in to correcting course (married 5 years) and things are getting worse. I've have not had a nuclear level shit test but she continues to try and control me via negative emotions. Now that she's unable to control me she swings from hostile to passive aggressive. In her mind I'm still responsible for everything, every outcome.

Example:

I came home from work to find her screaming at my son (3 years old) cause he would not eat his dinner. Immediately she calls on me to get him to start eating. I refuse to parent via scream until compliance, so I tell her I'll handle it and then I get him to eat, but I do it my way. Well because I disagreed with her, she storms off to pout in the bedroom for the rest of the night. Okay no fucks given. My son finishes his dinner. I make dinner for the rest of the family. Give my son a bath, put him to bed and go for a run.

I remained pretty much emotionless through the event, didn't say much of anything. Maybe I failed in some way. Thing is, this type of stuff goes on everyday. I'm getting tired of her shit and resetting every morning is becoming a challenge. She continues to bitch at me for everything. Last night she was angry because my daughters (6 months) sock fell off when I put her to bed, a fucking sock. I laughed at her and left to go workout. Obviously it's not about the sock but she uses every action/event to create conflict. Ultimately it's hard for me to say she contributes much value, I feel like it would not be that hard to move forward without her.

So my question is to the guys out there who are or understand the type 2 dynamic. Where am I fucking up? How long did it take you to see some results? Should I keep going or is divorce my only option here?

Current:

200 lbs, 6ft 12%BF

Lifts: 270 Bench, 355 Squat, 405 Deadlift

In the past 10 months I've:

Got a huge promotion at work.

Went from 17% BF to 12% BF

Got tested for hormone imbalance (normal)

Went to see a therapist about my codependency issues.

Started gaming and now practice catch and release

Continue to read and revisit the sidebar.


Post Information
Title Drunk Captain Type 2 Questions
Author redgoldgreenblue
Upvotes 7
Comments 40
Date 07 June 2018 05:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204385
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8pcdn0/drunk_captain_type_2_questions/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
MAPWISNIFGshit test
Comments

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

First off...you have a 6 month old daughter? If so, that means you swallowed the pill during your wife's pregnancy? If that's the case, SLOW DOWN. They say you shouldn't be doing much of any MRP related shit (besides lifting) until the baby is at least 1 year old.

With that said...

I had similar problems when I first started (swallowed the pill about a year and a half ago). My wife is an attorney who loves to be in control of shit and it took her a while to get on board with my new mission. At about the 9 month mark, shit hit the fan and we almost got divorced (I met with a divorce attorney for the first time).

Does she know you are ready to burn this whole fucking thing (your marriage) to the ground at any moment? Or is she confident her beta bucks isn't going anywhere because "he loves the kids too damn much" or that you are too afraid of getting divorce raped to ever leave her? She isn't afraid of losing you because you haven't given her a reason to be.

Lastly, if your wife is a cunt to you, people here will often say "be fun!", "smack her on her ass and give her a wink!" The fact of the matter is that shit doesn't work when you're dealing with a stubborn, angry bitch who hasn't been put in her place in years (forever?). The next time she treats you like shit, stand up for yourself. Take her to the side, away from kids/other people, and tell her how things are going to be.

Two examples of what I did when my wife crossed a line:

(1) She yelled at me to shut up in front of her mother and my kids. Doesn't matter to me why she did it or if I even deserved it. I asked to speak to her privately and when I got her alone I said something along the lines of "I don't know how your mother treated your father growing up (I actually do know, her mom was a royal cunt and is now divorced) but you will never talk to me like that again. Especially in front of my children. If you want to continue to disrepect me in that way, I will have papers for you to sign tomorrow."

Grow a pair and don't let her call your bluff. Meet with an attorney if you have to and get plan B (divorce) ready to be implemented.

(2) Recently my wife and I got into dumb argument. It got kind of heated and she called me an asshole. It's perfectly fine to call a dude an asshole, but god forbid a dude calls a chick something back, right? Fuck that noise. I responded with "You're right. I am an asshole. And you are a bitch. We can continue to play this name calling game if you want..." She looked shocked that I used the "B word" on her, yet I fucked her in the ass that night. Twice. Women LOVE to be put in their place. They HATE pushovers. Stand up for yourself more and see what happens.

Good luck and keep fighting the good fight.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (13 children) | Copy

“Obviously it's not about the sock but she uses every action/event to create conflict. ”

From my experience, she resents you because she feelz like she needs to be the leader of the family. She thought she was getting a strong masculine husband but instead got you. She was forced to take the leader position and hates you for it.

Did you take charge of everything? Finances? Home? Decisions?

It does get worse before it gets better - because of the long history you have with her from being a beta husband- you should start seeing improvements approaching months 7-8. You need to be the dominate in Everything. Everything matters. How’s your dread?

It’s weird because you say she is DTF?

Something else in her history?

[–]Senor_Martillo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Unfortunately, for a lot of women, they’ve been steeping in the feminist narrative too long to just let go of it. They have been told, and thoroughly internalized, that women should lead, and submission is weakness. A couple generations of leftist conditioning is conflicting with the reptilian brain that the MAP is trying to satisfy. Cognitive dissonance results.

Always remember that all these metaphors like the 1000’ rope and the captain/first officer relationship, are only metaphors. Everyone has to negotiate their own terrain. In many cases the wife simply will not, or doesn’t want to, let go of the ships wheel. Then it’s on the man to decide how to proceed, given the imperatives of his own needs, his kids, and his marriage, if he chooses to stay.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well said.

Yes it’s only a 2D roadmap to navigate this 3D world. Up to you to make it work -for you.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

I've always controlled the finances, homes and pretty much everything. 100% correct about her resentment but I don't think it's cause shes forced to lead at all. She actually doesn't do all that much. The past issue was that I owned everything, all aspects of our relationship including her shitty emotions.

I would not say she's DTF. Sex is once or twice a week. It's just that given the way things are I've not been that interested in fucking her.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

If your SMV is high enough, I would set a hard boundary next time she throws a tantrum.

Also start planting the seed now about you are the dominate and she is the submissive. Be playful at first. Add it into your Game. If she does something dumb, tell her she deserves to be disciplined. Put her over your knee and spank her ass. Should be doing that often.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I've tried setting boundaries with her, verbal boundaries don't seem to work. Even tried to force her to see a therapist with the threat of leaving (pre MAP)... fucking stupid.

I'm at the point where I think i might just need to file for divorce but I feel like its a last resort and I'm not 100% there yet. Also part of me recognizes a covert contract in that I'm hoping the reality of me filing will be enough to snap her out of this shit, probably not though.

In regards to sex, she is submissive. In regards to playfully putting her over my knee. That may work in some situations but not in most when she having a toddler level meltdown.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

she having a toddler level meltdown

have you tried your belt instead of your hand?

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm trying to avoid the domestic violence charge, but thanks bro

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

She needs a spanking.

This might not be the answer you are looking for, but it doesn't make it wrong.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

noted

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look into D/s relationships.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

the hand: frame

the belt: frame squared

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't try to jump dread levels and go Rambo. Follow the process.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As the current situation stands, she could leave tomorrow and it wouldn't have much impact. She my passenger certainly not an FO and never has been. Married 4 years prior to starting my MAP.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

You don’t give us much detail on how you’re handling these shit tests. Bitching about a sock is no doubt a shit test. You say you laugh at her, but there’s a difference between mocking her for her stupid ideas and laughing awkwardly because your embarrassed and ashamed. Which was it?

Either way, my advice would be to grow some balls and call her out. Don’t be afraid to piss her off, which simply walking away to avoid confrontation tends to telegraph.

A simple “fuck off and stop micro managing me” will do ya wonders. And if she keeps doing it, well, hopefully you know how to enforce boundaries...

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

In regards to the shit test, I laughed as in how absurd it was to be mad about something so trivial. Definitely no embarrassment. It's not my problem, it's her feels.

I do call her out. I'm not scared for her to be pissed, she's pissed off most of the time it seems. Past me danced around her emotions but for the last 10 months I call her out and proceed ahead not allowing her emotions to change my direction. The result has been ongoing passive aggressive behavior, silent treatment, cold shoulder, etc

She's definitely not micromanaging me. I do so much more than she does, she couldn't even tell you when trash pickup is or when was the last time my son washed his hair because I'm the one who does his bath every night. She does not know anything about our home or ongoing projects. She hardly cleans, just straightens up the kitchen. I do my own fucking laundry. She doesn't micro manage shit because she doesn't do much shit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was just saying her yelling about a sock falling off IS micro managing you. But I’m thinking the other comments are more right in that you’re not being fun, and instead being angry yourself and she’s reflecting that back to you.

So be more fun and give less fucks.

[–]Reach180Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do call her out.

Calling her out means engaging in bullshit. Don't engage. You're happy, living your life, she's freaking out about a sock. Calling her out is validation for her.

There's a difference between living your life and a condescending laugh. One is that you aren't bothered, one is you trying to show her she doesn't bother you. Learn the difference.

Your words mean nothing. Never forget this. You can't tell a woman anything with your words. Trying to is failure in itself.

[–]CaliEd2562 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

The 1000 foot rope is pulling on her, and she doesn’t like it? That would be my guess. Although seems like it would have happened earlier than 10 months.

You’re higher value than her, and she resents you for it? Tries to drag you back down to her pre-RP guy because of her insecurities?

Also, is she a stay at home Mom? Some woman hate it, and I can’t blame them. No sense of independence, crying children all day, changing diapers, almost zero adult interaction.

I would be angry as fuck if I had to stay home with two little kids.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Maybe it is the the 1000 foot rope, didnt think of it like this before.

I don't need her income so I gave her the choice. She choose to stay at home now and will return to work when the kids are a little older. She can go back to work tomorrow and I'd hire a nanny. She's not forced to do anything.

[–]CaliEd2561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think there’s legitimate social pressure for young mothers to be happy at the chance to stay home. “This is everything that should make you happy”. When in reality, it’s the 80th time she’s had to pick the sock up off the floor. Her girl brain is telling her she SHOULD be happy staying home, but she’s not so she feels guilty. Then resents it because she feels guilty. And the vicious cycle continues.

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I would revisit how much time she has away from the kids. Ie friends, taking herself out for coffee solo, whatever. In your own words “I would rather you be happy and take some time for yourself, than be miserable staying here all the time. Get out of here, I got the kiddos. <smack ass>”

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is a problem but she refuses to take time to herself. I've always got things under control, she could leave for a couple hours almost anytime without issue. I've even go so far as forcing her to go out with her friends. But thats the thing, I have to force her. It's almost as if she'd prefer to be a martyr so she has something to resent me for.

[–]CaliEd2561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ugh, yeah, you’re doing everything I could think of. Almost like a victimization complex, “Do you see how much I SACRIFICE for this FAMILY?!?!?!”

Interested to see how it develops. Best of luck brother.

[–]Jelagil1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You hit it right on the balls.

It is much easier to play the victim than actually dealing with life.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Postnatal depression?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think the part where you failed was when you told your wife you'll handle it.

At that point, she needed to understand that parenting by scream is NOT OK. You should have set your boundary there first.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't explain that well. I did tell her I did not agree with and was not going to yell at my child. She responded by saying something like: "well then you can just handle all his meals then", to which I said "No Problem", then she stormed off.

Funny thing is I already do most breakfast and dinner, so yeah... no problem.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My issue is not a DB or sexually related.

This is important and largely rules out the use of advanced Dread Game. The answer in 80% of these cases is better leadership and in 20% the solution is actually counter-intuitive to what MRP normally suggests to deal with a Dead Bedroom situation. That is, if the wife is not playing the sexual denial game, then the solution might be to lighten up and to show her more affection and kindness, especially after sex.

things are getting worse. I've have not had a nuclear level shit test but she continues to try and control me via negative emotions.

Have you considered she is not trying to control you but is reacting negatively to your negativity?

Have you considered her perspective? She has a man who made her sit in the Captains chair for years and now he suddenly puts down the bottle and what? He is going to dump her onto the ground and start issuing orders? How could she be anything but resentful?

Don't forget a Red Pill Axiom- Women are children. How would you treat your son if he behaved this way? You say you would use a gentle startup approach. You would not disagree with him, make him look bad, or yell or get into an argument with him. I would try that with your wife. You are still trying to "win" and in marital strife there are no winners. Only losers. Don't be a loser.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Started gaming and now practice catch and release

Are you gaming your wife as well? It sounds like she's looking for emotional engagement (gaming, being playful, etc). If you're not giving her positive emotions she'll try to force you to engage her negative ones.

I'm in a similar situation. Only about 8 months into my MAP and sex was never a problem even at my lowest, but I was a drunk captain (type 1) for several years. Course corrected, then overcorrected and as a result faced a slew of shit tests. The problem was that somewhere in the process of getting my shit together, I stopped being fun. Might be something to consider.

[–]redgoldgreenblue[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're probably right about this. Things have not been fun for awhile. I haven't been gaming her much and I need to address that. Her attitude is so shitty that I don't really want to pursue her at all. When I have she's not really responded well. Additionally hard no's have taken a hostile turn recently from, no honey not tonight, to more of a get the fuck out of my face attitude. It's hard to game her because just under the surface, at all times, she bubbling with resentment for me.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The root problem is that she doesn't respect you. Type 2 captains behave like servants, so they get no respect.

Once you stop behaving like a servant, stop acting like a bitch in response to her behavior, and develop your own frame, she should start respecting you and start treating you accordingly.

[–]quentinthequibbler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Screaming at the kids is not cool.



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