Story is longer than I’m going to post, I’ll try keep it to the point (something I’m a bit shit at)

My mother has a tendency to buy my kids too many presents. As a result my older kid developed a bit of a lack of appreciation for presents. How we should deal with this was a difference in opinion between myself and wifey. Her opinion was I should confront my mother and tell her stop buying so many presents. My opinion is we should be schooling my kid, not trying to change the way the world behaves to raise him correctly. That’s just avoiding problems and changing them rather than actually teaching him.

I’ve refused until recently to raise it with my mother. Then we had, what I will call, a mini event, or to be more accurate, she unleashed emotion. I’m getting much better at IDGAF, But, On this occasion I eventually relented. I’ll explain, but would like opinions on how you’d deal with this.

3 different things happened...

  1. She accused my father of backing up my mother when she tried to “subtly” raise it. She said my dad called her/what she said ridiculous, which I called bullshit on (I know my dad wouldn’t). So I told her she was either lying or took him out of context. It was the only thing I really responded in defence to. Any challenge she made to my defence was a repeat of “you’re either lying or took him out of context. (not that it matters but I discovered since I was correct)

  2. We got down a rabbit hole of her asking if I’d “back her up”. Now, at this exact moment, the answer is it depends. We’re not talking about some guy getting aggressive with her, It was a lead on from the above conversation, i.e. stupid shit like her vs my parents. So conversation went something like:

Her “would you back me up / stick up for me?” Me: “depends on whether I think you’re right or wrong”. Her: “So you wouldn’t always back me up then?” Me: “Basically what you’re saying your opinion matters more than mine?”

What would you guys have said here? This was the best I could come up with on the spot that I felt wasn’t DEERing...

  1. After that I checked out of the conversation... but she then said she was going to have a conversation with my mum... which I unfortunately know she will... so I intervened and relented. Because it has an impact on my kids (if they argue my mother won’t call around anymore - she’s a drama queen)

So, I relented and said I’d talk to my mother, and then I left the room and went to watch a movie by myself as I was done with the conversation. Had better things to do with my time. But she had basically won.

What would you have done? Let all of world war unfold and leave it? Or intervene due to impacts?

Anyway, She eventually came in wondering where I was, I paused the movie, not angry, said something like just watching a movie, whats up?... nothing... silence... waiting... she leaves. I continue with the movie. Was a fuckin awesome movie for the record.

See, told you I was shit at staying to the point!