I'm 33yo 5'8 210# married 6 years together 11. young kids involved... gym 4times a week for last 3 months, BP170 Row190 DL150
Lurking a couple months, but realize I'm doing the monkey dance, Read TMAP and Reading NMMNG, MMSLP, book of pook. Re visiting sidebar for better direction on process and best material/course of action for myself.
Finances are a wreck, recent investment/venture went sour leaving me broke and in debt. Income has always been low so fell behind on bills. Wife has now started working since maybe year after we met. Liquidating venture soon will also grant me catchup resources as well as allow partnering with my sister in her profitable business. I think I'll be stable and saving within a year again.
Mentally it's been hard to even admit to myself my insecurities, I have cheated in the past due to it, but my self esteem seems to be rising. I accept the realization of being a career beta and what seems like a mix of drunk captain.
Acknowledging the above faults I am better understanding my wife's hypergamy and AWALT behavior. She has already provided me the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" talk. We been trying to work though it. Although I'll be candid it's not been easy to deal with, even worse accept as my doing.
A recent event however has me over thinking, losing track of it all and creating my first post. Her hypergamy reached full effect after her acquaintance flirted with her few weeks ago. She admitted to me she wouldn't want to cheat but liked it and developed quite an interest in him. Last week it developed into what sounds like the light switch affect I read about here.
Then tonight she goes out with her friend (female) but invites the guy to tag along without my knowledge.. They have a few drinks and apparently she admits to the guy her interest, he shoots her down as he's in a ltr.
I just told her it was over, packed my shit left the house for the night. I know I can't abandon my home so I'll be back. Also I would rather be in my kids life every day rather then even 50-50. I'm also not going to sugar coat it, I'm still struggling with oneitis, or maybe because she's been honest about it all from the start, in an odd way it makes me question if I should value her clear communication.
I would be open to continue to rebuild this home I have helped wreck, however at the moment I am not even sure how to begin to communicate.
Tl;dr fat career beta's wife has gone awalt and expressed/acted on feelings towards another person. Didn't physically cheat but still broke an obvious boundary.
I don't expect comfort in the locker room. Just asking for hindsight from those longer unplugged and further on their journey.