NMMNG Safe Person

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ExceptionableCell
February 22, 2018
9 upvotes
askMRP

I’m re-reading NMMNG after having done so over a year ago, but never engaging with the Breaking Free activities.

I don’t feel like I have anybody that I consider a Safe Person - my friends are all blue-pill to the core and I don’t feel comfortable opening up to them.

I haven’t seen anybody else ask on here for this, but it is in the intro text, so here I am, wondering if anybody would be willing to listen?


Post Information
Title NMMNG Safe Person
Author ExceptionableCell
Upvotes 9
Comments 19
Date 22 February 2018 08:41 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204790
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7zdgc1/nmmng_safe_person/
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the blue pillNMMNG-pill
Comments

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret16 points17 points  (10 children) | Copy

NMMNG has a couple areas where it diverges from RP and MRP. This is one of them.

First thing you need to understand is that no one cares about men's feelings except the man having them. No one does.

At all.

You are expected to deal and move on. Women have feelings and talk openly about them because they connect so much of their reality to their emotions. And great that they do. Women seek community. Men seek value.

What you do is find a room. Cry. Then dry your eyes and get back to work. For me a good heavy session at the gym works. Or a nice glass of whiskey and some mates. Talk a little treason. It's all good. It's that simple. Men don't emote about their fee fees. Feelings are transient. They aren't laws. They aren't royal edicts.

They, in no way, rule your life.

It is possible to feel anger without being angry. Feel sadness without being sad. You can't control the physiological response to emotion. Getting flush, tears, shaking, flight or fight stuff. These things are natural. What you can control is how you react to them. Again another reason why lifting is highly important. Filling your time with physical activity.

No man here should be sitting at night watching TV. If you are sitting it should be pursuit of some intellectual task. She is always watching. She is always shit testing you.

If at the end of it all you still have emotional issues to work on. Go hire a counselor and get your feelings out there. At least he will be honest and not care once the paycheck has ended and you feel better.

[–]AquitasVeritas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Slow claps this was me. Spot on.

Nice comment.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I really like this approach and I guess I have always had a hard time opening up and talking. I don't cry or bitch to anyone about my situation anymore even myself, it's not something that interests me. It's more a case of getting feedback on understanding and answering the activities and being pushed to think differently based on others experiences.. maybe OYS is best for this?

Or maybe just stfu and lift more ;)

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

OYS can work but you have to really think.

Why are you so special?

Spending time on emotional energy is a luxury. Recognize that. You are seriously going to sit there and weep or rage about how you feel aobu something? How is it you have that kind of time? Everyone feels sad, mad, glad, or whatever.

Few do something about it. So take the time to let the emotion happen and then get to work on whatever caused it. There are emotional situations that just have to happen. Like grief from the death of someone. Yet you still have to get past it and move on.

This is the core of it. Men's value is time and commitment. And if you are spending your time with your feelings you are telling the world what is the most important thing to you.

Like I said. You can't help the physiological responses. You can change how you react to them.

[–]Chinchilla_the_Hun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Men's value is time and commitment. And if you are spending your time with your feelings you are telling the world what is the most important thing to you.

Key insight here. Similar to the "ignore words, watch actions" measuring stick.

[–]broneilbro1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm going to diverge on this - Some people are so socially isolated that they just need to have that communication and to have someone hear them out. Lend that ear or that minute to talk to them.

You don't need to cry in front of them but venting is perfectly fine especially if its over a fine scotch and making that connection if that makes sense.

I have my best friend and we vent all the time. He still hasn't gotten over his ex-girlfriend over 3 years ago because she cheated on him. He thinks all girls will...I gave him NMMNG and told him about RP...

We are all apart of a tribe called men...and women are the other tribe...

[–]ice_walkerHead Negotiator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Beautifully put brother. One shouldn't be afraid to cry, as long as nobody sees it. At least not your woman. Also just knowing that difficult emotions will pass, they aren't eternal, just chill and they usually goes away in a matter of minutes, hours or days.

[–]ReturnOfTheSwing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can't control the physiological response to emotion. Getting flush, tears, shaking, flight or fight stuff. These things are natural. What you can control is how you react to them.

I used to get incredibly angry very frequently. Eventually, I realized it was just a feeling in my body. I would just feel the heat in my arms, the tense feelings in all my muscles, and recognize that it was just as you said, a physiological response. Just deeply observing my own body was usually enough to put me back in a good mental state, even if the physical signs of anger were still present.

Again another reason why lifting is highly important. Filling your time with physical activity.

I agree. I never feel better than after boxing or a hard lifting session. The stress melts away. I would say it is almost euphoric.

[–]johneyapocalypse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First thing you need to understand is that no one cares about men's feelings except the man having them. No one does.

Once you not only understand that, but also believe that, and also don't mind that, and also find that normal, and also realize it's okay, and also know that life goes on, and also see it as a simple fact, and also blow through it like a mother fucker...

That's when everything falls into place.

You are expected to deal and move on.

Amen.

Funny thing. It's not so fucking hard. The doing is so much easier than the stressing, ruminating, worrying - so knock those out and your chi will flow and you've found nirvana.

What you do is find a room. Cry. Then dry your eyes and get back to work. For me a good heavy session at the gym works. Or a nice glass of whiskey and some mates.

Heavy bag, too.

I'm addicted to adrenaline so I find a few extremes. Maybe more than a few. Need that rush. Found a new one recently: for fuck sake I'm going deep sea diving off an underwater cliff surrounded by sharks and who knows what.

Feelings are transient. They aren't laws. They aren't royal edicts.

They, in no way, rule your life.

Yah, it only feels that way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

great answer. I needed this.

Go hire a counselor and get your feelings out there. At least he will be honest and not care once the paycheck has ended and you feel better.

Needed this reminder too. The only reason your therapist cares is because he's being paid to care. No pay, no care. No see, no care. When you're done with therapy and you are no longer paying him, he will never see you again and will not care.

[–]broneilbro4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just hit you up in chat.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

As long as you are OK with ball punches and ass kicks, then we are all the "safe" people you need.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This ^

[–]AquitasVeritas3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same boat. No real friends and the friends i have are extremely blue pilled.

Altho a lot of people here will say that you should fuck off with your emotions, i think it is good to stop and think about them. Why do you feel this way? Where do i want to go? What are my passions/mission? Its good to talk about it with a red pilled person. Ideally someone you dont really know so they can slap you the fuck awake when needed.

Wish i had someone in my pussy phase then the anger phase and finally swallowing the pill.

But sometimes its good to go through the journey by yourself..

Its all you. Your life. You decide.

If you want to chat. Hit me up.

Altho in living in the netherlands, im also a night person so time zones wont really matter.

That goes for all you fuckers.

Cheers!

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My best friend is pretty blue piled but I still reached out to him, mostly because this part of the process isn't necessarily RP(and he is the only person I felt remotely comfortable sharing with). I have also researched male CBT therapists just in case I wanted to get professional assistance.

[–]dcapt462 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OYS is remarkably close to the same as your safe person.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am also in the same situation, if anyone can spare some time it would be appreciated.

[–]chachaChad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I initially used my therapist then started sharing with a few friends then finally my brother.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can be your safe person. You can call me and every time you start whining I'll call you a weak fuck and scream at you. For free. I'm somewhere around GMT, what's your timezone?



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