Her need for external validation

screechhater · 2017-08-21T03:13:03+00:00

Grasshopper, this stupid bit of Shit shall pass when you become the prize. Until then, STFU

Sklavenmoral · 2017-08-21T01:56:13+00:00

You do you. You become the star she wants to show off just by being who you are. Don't ever, ever, ever do anything just because it will validate you with the people she dick rides. That is the definition of blue pill.

cholomite · 2017-08-21T03:31:52+00:00

You should always want to be the best, most fun and awesome version of yourself. If you try on purpose to impress others it will ultimately come off as fake and pathetic. Just keep doing you.

All women do this, all they care about is social value, and how much of it they have. They get most of it through their man. Women view men the way men view jobs. This is just female nature, hypergamy...etc

youmolide · 2017-08-21T04:48:23+00:00

You will notice that this 'external validation' has to come from other people NOT you.

Kind of like deadbedrooms- your wife will fuck, she just won't fuck YOU.

In this case your wife will take validation to heart - as long it comes from some fucktard other than you.

I've been on Red Pill for quite some time and the longer I stay here the longer I am convinced it is a losing battle in terms of saving marriages. Yes, as long as you work like a dog to completely change yourself into a close approximation of Chad you can delay the inevitable branch swing.

How far do you go in that direction before you lose yourself ?

And before the masses chime in with only doing things YOU want to do - good luck with that. As long as your goals are in line with 99 percent of suburban middle class society & white bread Facebook life - yes, you can pull it off.

What happens if you change your MAP to something tougher, harder, more radically manly ?

You can have the greatest MAP on the planet and if your wife disapproves, she walks. (ask me how that all works LOL).

Walkaway wives - a social phenom in modern western society.

BobbyPeru · 2017-08-21T04:19:23+00:00

Should i redirect my efforts to looking cool / impressive

No, be yourself. I phased my wife and I out of posting on SM personally. If it starts to annoy you, tell her you want to take a break from pics. The first time I did that with my wife (on vacation) she almost had a meltdown. But, like I said, I phases it out over time, and now she doesn't even want to post on SM.

Yes, there were more "i's" but the context was still mostly in her frame. Stop giving so many fucks about what she wants, thinks, and feels, and focus on internal frame.

Red-Curious · 2017-08-21T06:02:54+00:00

I am wondering where this is explained in more detail, is it in the female psychology book that's recommended?

If you can get past some of the religious stuff, I write a lot about this validation-seeking behavior in women here. I call it The Comparison Game/Trap.

My conclusion is in the "Husbands: Don't Play the Game" section, et seq.

donedreadpirate · 2017-08-21T10:45:40+00:00

I think you are just witnessing female psychology with a woke-ness, and seeing it in action with your own wife is making you go, "OMG! It's realz!" Eventually, maybe, she will want your validation more than others. Don't factor this into your map. Like, at all.

JDRoedell · 2017-08-21T13:12:20+00:00

Men are success objects (to women). Women are sex objects (to men). Your achievements are her achievements even when she didn't do shit to deserve it.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-08-21T16:30:36+00:00

so, and?

Explain what the problem is, what you're trying to solve, or where you want to be at the end of this.

Scurvemuch · 2017-08-21T16:37:55+00:00

the only thing you need to know is... hmm, how do I become the person who'se attention matters to women?

TurdDoctor · 2017-08-21T17:08:23+00:00

It's helped me recently to think of my wife as the most responsible teenage in the house. It's not what she says to me that matters, it's how I respond to what she says to me that really matters. Would you take a teenager's SM posts seriously or just ignore? Would you look for validation from a teenager about anything in your life? Think of your wife as this teenager.

askmeanything2 · 2017-08-21T08:48:30+00:00

I am wondering where this is explained in more detail, is it in the female psychology book that's recommended?

It's tough unplugging, such as realizing your wife doesn't love you in an idealistic way. Read lots of The Rational Male.

For example:

Appreciation

I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you wont. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the ability to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminne-centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was DTF and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. They are only appreciated in their absence.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/11/14/appreciation/

Title	Her need for external validation
Author	simbarlion
Upvotes	3
Comments	37
Date	August 21, 2017 1:42 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6uzt8q/her_need_for_external_validation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/her-need-for-external-validation.205638 https://theredarchive.com/post/205638

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