It's been a year since I discovered my wife's messages -almost three years' worth of sporadic texting/emails to a superior. Nothing indicating an actual affair, but absolutely indicating an affinity/soft pursuit on her part. His responses...sterile/professional.
This is how I discovered hypergamy, MRP, dread, etc.
The ordeal woke me up considerably, and I've been able to clean up my act in numerous ways. I had been very dismissive of her, in many ways, over our 11-year marriage. I had fantasized about starting over many times, the two of us have four kids, so perhaps we both felt hemmed in/resigned.
Since the initial discovery, a lot has changed, and our sex life has increased dramatically over the past year. We have a lot of fun, with a big caveat:
I have to admit I live in a constant, nagging dread state, due to the erosion of security. She has unwittingly played the dread card on me, and it is this alone that has motivated me in this journey. I have no way of knowing if she's continued her behaviors (I suspect she has, to some extent).
Am I rooting through the trash, so to speak, with respect to this relationship? My red pill conversion is not sincere until I can somehow overcome this.
Bring on the tough talk. I require it.