Best way to introduce RP/MRP to a friend

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January 19, 2017

My best friend growing up called me over the weekend to say that he had just found out his wife had been having an affair for close to three years. He is an absolute mess right now. I certainly know how he feels. He called me because he knew that I had gone through a similar situation. We have known each other since we were eight years old. We were also each other's best man in our weddings. I feel it is a duty as a friend and a man to help him.

I want to clue him in to this sub, but I know that the first rule of the fight club is to not discuss the fight club. I'm thinking that I may suggest a couple of books first.

I think that Rational Male will allow him to understand what has just happened. It did for me. I honestly think that this book should be a required read for any young man graduating high school.

I also think NMMNG is an absolute must for him. My buddy has always been the good guy. He was always good at school, sports and music. He is now a lawyer (after an engineering degree) and makes great money.

How would you guys suggest I introduce him to some RP material? Should I suggest some readings like discussed or should I send him directly to this sub?

Post Information
Title Best way to introduce RP/MRP to a friend
Author postscript1114
Upvotes 7
Comments 39
Date 19 January 2017 03:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]innominating7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't talk about fight club, until he stands on the porch and only you decide if he's stood long enough. Then, lift, sidebar, move on.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Does he respect you enough to follow your lead even if he's skeptical at first? Or does he just think of you as another clueless soul?

A lot of shit on this board looks completely retarded at first glance. If he trusts you enough, he might get past that on your rec alone. If not, might be better to start with a "softer" intro like NMMNG, which I think strikes a chord with a lot of guys without seeming over the top.

[–]TotesMessenger3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You would not believe how many of these Auto Mod filters out but I think this one can stay. They have a point. What do you know? Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He knows and understands my situation with my STBXW. He asked me what I did to get through the situation. I told him I've been focusing on me with out going into detail. I do think he would be open to suggestions from me as he does have a level of respect towards me.

[–]LymanRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

might be better to start with a "softer" intro like NMMNG, which I think strikes a chord with a lot of guys without seeming over the top

This. Also throw in The Rational Male books/blog as a next step after NMMNG.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I coach 3 friends right now. ALl but one visit this sub.

to each of them I looked at them and asked. Would you like to fix this?

At first it was me giving them tips and having them come back to me with results. Over time I would send them links to Rational Male and other stuff.

They found thier way here.

Go slow. Take it in stages

[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Drop him NMMNG or even MMSLP. Let him read it and if it resonates with him you can take it from there. This sub is not a good intro imo unless you're already receptive to the ideas.

Remember that most guys are fucking weak. Fitness info isn't secret or controversial but why does so few have great bodies? In the end self discipline and willpower is the limiting factor.

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do you think Rational Male is too much too soon? Personally, this book opened my eyes to the world we live in as males. As I mentioned, NMMNG is a sure thing for him.

My buddy has the body thing down. He is a runner that hits weights a couple of times a week. It has been like that since he was 12. He did this to train for many sports that he played. Other friends used to call him "the ab."

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Abs on skinny guys are like big tits on fat women.

Your friend needs to lift at least 3 times a week, preferably 4, and hit all major muscle groups twice through compound lifts.

Ever notice when a guy who runs all the time walks into the room?

That's okay, no one else did either.

[–]postscript1114[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

*Ever notice when a guy who runs all the time walks into the room?

That's okay, no one else did either.*

I will be sure to use this one on him when I tell him to lift. He might get a little but hurt, but fuck it. We have almost 30 years of joking with each other.

I was not at all suggesting that he doesn't need to lift. I was just saying he is coming at it from a better starting point than most.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

runs all the time walks into a room

Damn. My feels.

[–]drty_prRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Abs on skinny guys are like big tits on fat women

Oh my god thats funny!

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Rational Male is rough for someone not open to the message and it has very little actionable advice. The books with actionable advice like NMMNG and MMSLP will get results that can open some to the message, while others could benefit from first "opening their eyes" with Rational Male and that makes them realize they need to learn what is in the other books.

It depends on the guy, but in general I'd not start with Rational Male.

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That makes sense. I will point him towards NMMNG. He will benefit from the message in that book greatly.

I have read most of the sidebar plus some others not listed. In my case, RM was the most helpful in realizing the almost "scientific" reasoning behind my situation. It also gives the cold, hard truth. I also started into the sidebar knowing that I was not going to be married in the next year, so I have been looking at the material as a single guy. There was nothing for me to fix in terms of a marriage. All focus has been on myself and my relationship with my children.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

No matter if you red knight him or not, just be very sure you are willing to walk away from your friendship.

Many a blue beta has scorned his friends when they showed him the error of his ways. For many ignorance is bliss.

If he leaves his wife and can't handle life on his own, he is going to come knocking on your door. If him and his slutty wife kiss and make up, he is going to spill his guts to her and they will decide it was your fault.

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can tell you that he is through with her. His family, especially his brother will push him in the direction of divorce. He has already kicked her out of the house.

The only thing I can see going badly is the potential for being divorce raped, but his own background in law should help with that. This shit just happened over the weekend and he has already filed a shit load of paperwork. He has also deposed most of her friends, family and the "Chad" as his witnesses to any legal proceedings. I guess it pays to be a lawyer when you are going through a divorce. He won't represent himself, but he can do most of the leg work and background stuff himself.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good to hear he is grabbing the bull by the horns and not whining in a pathetic heap of misery.

Looks like you already have the man on the right path.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

clue him into a lawyer.

[–]postscript1114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He is one and already has a list of friends and colleagues that he is meeting with. He will have it locked down real quick from her being able to find a lawyer that is close to where they live.

[–]Mildly_Sociopathic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No more Mr Nice Guy. Just give him an ear when he needs one.

Nothing else.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Others disagree but I think RM may be exactly what he needs. Don't give MMSLP to someone who just got cheated on and is getting divorced. They can read that one later. RM is effective because it hits hard and is clear in its message. Warn him that he will be angry as the pages set in though.

I would argue that maybe even the BPP's book could be good because it includes watered down female psychology theories from RM that may be easier to digest for someone just stepping out of the BP shadows.

I was thinking about this myself recently. Had beers and dinner with a buddy who was in town for business last night. Known him since high school. He told me he thinks his wife and him average sex 10-12 times a year. And he told me, another friend of ours hasn't had it in over a year. In my head I was thinking about if/how/whether I should tell him about RP or rational male or something. I didn't, but I wanted to.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Give him links to rational male, this sub, and suggest he buy NMMNG.

Do this only, and I mean ONLY, if he asks, and only if he shows you he's ready to hear what you have to say.

Then shut up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just got this sent to me on a traditional, non-rp forum. I wonder if things like this might help -

[–]atlhartRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd give him NMMNG. It's mainstream enough that it's approachable. It'd be a good litmus test to see if he's ready.

Give it to him. Ask him to read it, and tell him you'd there to talk about anything he finds interesting or relevant in the book.

If he reads it and comes back to you piqued, then you can point him this way.

If he doesn't take the step to read the book, then he's not ready.

[–]VengefullyY0urs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't mention MRP, but perhaps throw him in the direction for him to find it himself if he wants it bad enough.

Recommend No More Mr. Nice Guy, And Mayyyyybe MMSLP. Otherwise lead him to lift, and talk about setting a male action plan.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If he is clueless and reeling then you may have to talk through some heavy emotions before getting to a part of him that wants to get some actual introspection and work in. Right now he's probably thinking a lot of short term rather than long term.

Sit him down...maybe a few times...and through talking to him guide him to introspection and see if he follows. If it's still all about her or he can't focus on the future, hold off and get him through the divorce first. When you finally feel like he's listening to you and ready to introspect, then introduce NMMNG. Don't just hand him the book and say "it's all right here". Maybe quote a paragraph or two. If he eats it up, then show him to book and advise him to read.

[–]postscript1114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will wait a couple of months before I do anything. I know his mind isn't right at this moment to absorb anything. Hell, I had to read most of the books 2-3 times before they started to sink in. The mental barrier of beta is strong.

It's a funny thing though, one day the shit starts to click. Not all of it. Just a little at a time. It then allows the brain to open up wider to accept more.

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just remember, you don't want to make him feel like it was his fault. It's more that AWALT. He's already devastated, don't pile on.

If he's kicked her out already, it sounds like his SMV is way above her. If he's a nice guy, he was probably pedastalizing her. So help him realize he need to get validation from himself, not his wife.

[–]postscript1114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will not make him feel like it is his fault. Sure, he may have done some beta shit that led her in that direction, but he did not tell her to cheat. That is on her. This is how I feel about my situation as well.

I was shocked that he had already kicked her out. Not a move I would have expected from him.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I just told my buddy about my book and laughed while he deflected, denied, called me a shitlord, and accused me of hating women. Later in the evening after 5-6 beers he confessed that he and his wife have sex just 1-2 times a month and it is killing him that his wife is never affectionate. I told him I have sex 2-3 times a week and we are always affectionate.

He turned white as a ghost as he confronted the blue pill lie.

Still didn't convince him. You have to read the books, Bro. I gave him an easy assignment and he can't bring himself to doing it. I think picking up a book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" would be admitting defeat or something.

You remember the story I told of the life guard, right? Sounds like your guy is just about to go under. I think that is the only time a defeated man can be saved.

So in my view, "Fight Club" notwithstanding, the 1st and 2nd rules are definitely violated all the time. Fight Club grew from 2 guys to an army as I recall.

Have him read NMMNG first and then you can make a decision about clue-ing him in on MRP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He turned white as a ghost as he confronted the blue pill lie.

I turned pale as I read MRP for the very first few hours......

[–]nantucketghost0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]nantucketghost0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]GreetingsFromErf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give him the rational male and a week to read it. Start asking him his opinion on what he has read. If his mind is not open to it, then you should re-read Rollo's article on last rights.

[–]midlifedick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you just point him to a forum on a website, you are a lazy, inconsiderate friend.

Try listening and sharing your experience.

Don't use jargon, just tell him what you have observed that is similar to what he is going through. Maybe it's not just this one bitch after all. Turns out that a lot of women are like that and a lot of men were blissfully unaware until it was too late.

Now is triage. Stop the bleeding and save the patient, save the rehab for later.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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