Vampiresquid is my wife. She told me she'd posted here, and I am beyond pissed. I haven't looked at Reddit in a long time and I didn't get to read her post. It sounds like she stirred a lot of shit, and for that I apologize. She also said you all wanted to hear my side of the story, so here it is. (This is my first time posting on Reddit, so sorry if the formatting sucks.)
I'm 36 and she's 34. We've been married for 8 years and together for 10. We lived together for a year before getting hitched. We have 2 kids (1 boy, 1 girl), and she is a good mother. We actually have a pretty good sex life. I guess I'm lucky that we're compatible that way and she just likes sex.
I found the red pill about 1.5 years ago. I'd been feeling pissed off and frustrated at work and at home, and I'd just seen my best friend completely screwed over by his wife (cheated on and then divorce raped) so the red pill ideas resonated with me. I realized that I'd been fucking things up my entire life by being a Nice Guy who needed external validation while blaming other people for my problems. I also admitted to myself that I was basically being a lazy motherfucker in general. It was holding me back from being successful at work and enjoying my life. So I decided to man up.
I read NMMNG and spent a lot of time on Rational Male and Red Pill Room, and some time lurking on MRP and TRP. I started lifting, dressing better, and working on my social skills by striking up conversations with random people and flirting with women as much as possible. I reconnected with my buds and started hanging out with them a couple times a week. I'm doing shit for myself, and cultivating an IDGAF attitude if those things are inconvenient for my wife.
It's been paying off in a lot of ways. I've been taking on more responsibility and standing out more at work, and got a small promotion as a result. I'm taking care of shit around the house, instead of asking the wife to call a plumber, etc. I'm spending more time with my kids, taking them places and teaching them stuff. And, I'm getting more attention from women. This has been a revelation for me, as I've never thought I was very attractive.
Here's where my wife comes in. She is, honestly, drop-dead gorgeous. When we met, she had just quit a career in modeling and had been earning enough from that to put herself through college. Even at 34, she gets shitloads of male attention, and guys have hit on her right in front of me, knowing we were together. Before RP, I did the typical beta thing and put her on a pedestal and bent over backward to make her happy. Even though she's beautiful and fairly intelligent, she has low self-esteem (from her crappy childhood) and I basically became a validation faucet for her. And I got the validation of being the average looking dude with the smoking hot girlfriend/wife.
I decided it's time to end all that. I'm slowly killing my oneitis, and I'm showing my wife that I'm an attractive man with options and important stuff to do. I'm the prize now. I'm not her validation faucet anymore, and I'm not dependent on her, either. I love her, and I love my kids more than anything, and I want to lead us to better things. But she's both insecure and strong willed, and now that she's learned about MRP, she has lost her mind. It's just like one big hamster in there. It's like I'm under a microscope, and she always thinks that I'm wanting to leave her or I'm trying to trick her with some tactic. Sometimes I get things like "oh, are you being 'alpha'?" It's fucking infuriating.
Her finding out about MRP was an extreme fuck-up on my part, and I don't know where to go from here. Do any of you have experience with a wife finding out about MRP and fighting you over it?