I'm that rare career beta that has arrived at the red pill...

sexyshoulderdevil · 2015-10-30T01:54:26+00:00

This is going to be a hard road. And part of the journey is you getting things going in your real life outside the home (and Internet) making friends. First, you need to join a gym...tomorrow. Next, you interested in martial arts or any rec leagues sports around town? Activities like these will help you make real life guy friends.

As far as guidance, you have an entire fleet of guys here who will help. Do the work and ask questions. They will practically break their keyboards answering your questions if they can tell you're trying.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-10-30T05:20:22+00:00

Hey, welcome! Glad to see you posting on here for a change :) I've been following your posts on dead bedrooms and nofap, and had been wondering whether you were just trolling them or if you were genuinely lost at sea. Now I know it is the latter.

As the others have said, this is a journey that only you can walk. Nobody will hold your hand, or give you a blow by blow plan to fix your shit, but everyone will recognise parts of their former selves in your situation, and the advice that you will get in here will be 99% consistent regardless of who gives it. Rather than a "morpheus", this is more like a hive mind. Give it a few weeks and you'll notice that reading another guys victim puke will resonate with you and you'll realise that you can help him out by telling him the same things we are telling you now...

First, slow down. You've already come to many of the conclusions you needed to on your own. You said in DB that you thought you were "too beta" and "not alpha enough". In here, and on other TRP related subs, you'll learn what that means in a practical sense.

The standard new guy advice is:

Start lifting weights on a proper programme of progressive resistance. No "fuckarounditis". Clean up your diet and get lean, while packing on some meat. Alpha males are physically strong, and training for physical strength also toughens you mentally.

Read the sidebar material. Both the one over there - - - > and the one on /r/marriedredpill. /r/TheRedPill also has some good sidebar material. Read all the top threads on all those subs, and start integrating a picture of who "we" are, and find your place in the community. Lurk, comment whatever. But, make sure that you are putting things into practice in your life. We are not just a circle jerk like dead bedrooms. We WILL call you out on your shit if you are not owning it.

STFU. Yes, shut the fuck up. Stop engaging in emotionally driven conversations with your wife. Stop sharing your feelings with her. Stop acting butt hurt about your situation. You are supposed to be the Captain of your household. Not some drunken dictator who throws a hissy fit if he doesn't get what he wants. STFU works for a while, and will give you space to identify and fix all your fucked up weak sauce behaviours.

That new guy advice is essential. Honestly, if you just start with those three things, you'll be well on the road. That advice is battle hardened for new guys. I have never seen a post from someone which contradicts it. No exceptions: lift, read and STFU.

Quarter_Century_Club · 2015-10-30T01:58:07+00:00

The emphasis here is on taking personal responsibility for your own self-improvement. At risk of sounding like a broken record, read the prerequisites and wiki from the marriedredpill sidebar. There is a guide for career betas in there.

Lurk in MRP. Ask your questions in askmrp. There are plenty of career betas who have turned things around. It starts with the dead bedroom and extends to the rest of your life. The rabbit hole goes pretty deep.

UEMcGill · 2015-10-30T13:04:51+00:00

Morpheus is only the conduit. Neo swallows the pill. This board is full of guys who could be that conduit, but it starts with you. Lurk, read, and start lifting.

It starts with accepting the hard truth, "I alone am responsible for my behavior, I'm no victim."

cholomite · 2015-10-30T02:13:33+00:00

It's overwhelming at first but don't let it get to you. Clear your mind of negative thoughts and make improving yourself your #1 priority. Set small goals for yourself each day or week and achieve them. This will help boost your confidence and make it easier to deal with your wife and hold frame. This shit takes discipline and it's a lot of hard work, but it is absolutely worth it. Don't worry about all the time you spent as a beta, there are tons of guys who never figure this stuff out and never get to truly enjoy all the things life has to offer to a high value man. Unfortunately career betas aren't rare. I think realizing the truth and taking steps to regain control of your life is more rare.

Seriously though, join a gym and start lifting ASAP. Read the stuff on the sidebar here and the high quality posts and sidebar stuff over on the main sub. Good luck brother.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-10-30T06:04:09+00:00

I feel like a castaway that just washed ashore

Welcome.

I'm 35, married, in a dead bedroom, stagnant career, have been beta ALL my life and digging out of a big fucking hole. I know I have a shit ton of reading/studying ahead and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to turn my life around.

Cool, so you can "talk the talk" but can you "walk the walk"?

My only question at this time is this. Are there any Morpheus' in the forum that would be willing to work with me? I'm critically low on male friends (surprised?) and desperately need help immediately to fix myself. Any help is appreciated.

Fair question, for a new guy, I suppose. The simple answer is no. The more complicated answer is that you need to be your own Morpheus. Every dude on here who has unplugged or is unplugging is his own Morpheus. It's good that you are prepared to do whatever it takes, because it's gonna take the rest of your life. The journey is more important than the destination, so really there is no rush. Lift, read/lurk and STFU. Three solid starting points. Aquire and read the prerequisite books. Join a gym and start a beginners program (eg stronglifts or starting strength). Stop victim puking. You are a victim of your own behaviour. Over time, you will develop a world view and frame of mind that puts you as the master and commander of your own destiny. On NoFap, I saw you asking guys who were deep into it whether they had any new found superpowers. Not sure if you got any useful answers but if you read some of the good field reports on here and on /r/marriedredpill, and understand that those guys were in exactly your same situation, I think you'll agree that you have a lot to learn in here. Any sufficiently advanced technology will appear to be magic, any sufficiently advanced human behaviour will appear as a super power, to those who don't have it.

You said you were too beta. That's not just an abstract thing with no real meaning. We say "AF/BB". Alpha fucks, Beta bux. Women want to fuck the bad guys, and settle down with the nice provider. Once they've got their provider on lock down, they don't need to fuck him anymore, and in fact, his supplication and beta behaviour is a massive sexual turn off for her. Men are attracted to physical beauty in women, whereas women are much more interested in "beautiful behaviour". Looks won't hurt, of course, but when you start to learn what women really want, it's bitter sweet. You'll be happy to finally understand the rules of the game, but you'll be angry when you see that what they really want, and what they say they want, are not the same. Watch what they do, not what they say.

Start owning your shit. Take stock of your weak beta bitch behaviour and eliminate that shit from your life. Replace it with intense masculine presence. Own your present moment, from now until you die. It is always NOW. You already have your super power, you just need to learn how to use it.

Women are born complete. Men need to transition through the "boy" phase to become Men. Western society paints different picture.

Here is a good post for you:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1ypnv3/red_pill_antibiotic_nuke_come_and_feed/

strategos_autokrator · 2015-10-30T09:29:36+00:00

Did you check out the guide for beginners?

Parf of becoming a Man is that you stop seeking validation in others, and learn to trust yourself. We see you as a Man with capital M, even if you don't believe it yet. We will treat you as such because it is what is best for you.

We won't hold back, and tell you when you are lying to yourself to stay BP. We expect you to be a Man, and Own Your Shit, as that is the crucial way to stop being insecure and trusting your vision. It is ok to make mistakes, but as long as you OWY, you will keep improving, and that is what alpha does.

itstartstoday123 · 2015-10-30T03:43:23+00:00

There is no technical mentor program here. It's a place to get feed back when your stuck and look for practical examples to the principals in the books. Clarification on terms or advice sought for areas your genuinely stuck on is where this comes in handy.

The most valuable skills you will learn through this process, in addition to the insight of the authors from the side bar, Will be a masculine motivation to own your shit(taking responsibility for progress) and the invaluable skill of self analysis/critic.

Get started on the books and get going to the gym and then look for the own your shit weekly post and keep track of your areas you know you need to focus on immediately. You will get feed back and analysis from the regular contributors to help you develop your M.A.P.(man action plan) and grow.

Welcome and start owning your shit today.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-10-30T14:28:13+00:00

Just read this comment in your DB thread.

https://np.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/3qpsga/im_in_bad_shape/cwhvfdy

I do every fucking thing in this house to take care of the family. You name it and I do it. I grind away at my 9-5 for them and grind away here as well. No, she has very little free time and sure we both make sacrifices but that doesn't give her the right to essentially forget I exist and not reciprocate the love I show for her. I'm busting my ass just as much, I'm just as tired, just as frustrated etc. as she is but I go out of my way to remind her how much I love her and she shows me nothing.

Give yourself a little time and then reread this comment. Your current frame is that of a victim. Stop seeing yourself as a victim and just get on with owning your shit

BucketOfSunshins · 2015-10-30T16:38:18+00:00

If you literally want someone to advise you, the author of MMSL, Athol Kay, does coaching sessions. You probably don't need him, yet, though. You need to read all the stuff that everyone else has told you to read. Once you've done your homework, if you STILL need someone to guide you, try him.

Realworld52 · 2015-10-30T17:19:37+00:00

No. The sidebar of reading is meant for you. I do mean this kindly, but the fact that you decide to ask for help rather than read and do it yourself is one of the largest Beta signs in the world. Take action, Take responsibility, do the reading or continue being a Beta. Those are your choices.

alpha_n3rd · 2015-10-30T18:37:07+00:00

PM me whenever dude

Quarter_Century_Club · 2015-10-30T20:49:09+00:00

Getting male friends is truly great advice. But everything in MRP must be personalized to who YOU are. My point is, that I am a lifelong LONER. The principals of behavior in TRP/MRP still apply, and are beneficial even without the mentor you seek. It is really all on you, mentor optional.

To you tag line: Being a career beta is neither rare or special in this sub; so get over it and get to work...bro.

Quarter_Century_Club · 2015-10-30T13:09:59+00:00

One question for you guys. I forgot to mention that we have a child (2 years old) together. Does that affect any of the steps, process, thinking, etc or do I proceed as instructed?

nantucketghost · 2015-10-30T14:02:56+00:00

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downvotesanimals · 2015-10-30T14:45:12+00:00

My one comment would be to avoid heavily doing RP actions before you're really comfortable with yourself. Acting alpha before you're ready is 100% see through-able.

Ease it in slowly. Slowly start recognizing when she gives you shit, holding your frame, and amplifying shit tests as a response or laughing them off. Slowly become the cool guy she wants to be fucking.

The hardest part for me was the abundance mentality. You have to realize that you're the prize and that you have options if you're in an unsatisfying marriage. Until you actually believe that... it will be difficult.

Good luck!

triclops41 · 2015-10-30T21:42:07+00:00

You sound just like me. I'm only a few months ahead of you on this journey. You will feel a lot of rage at times. Take it with you to the gym. It will get worse short term sometimes before it gets better. Be prepared to feel overwhelmed. Just keep going. The advice here is all good. I'll add that being a father makes everything all the more urgent. Do you want your son/daughter to learn to be red or blue pill?
Honestly, for me, that is even bigger than the dead bedroom. I'd rather burn in hell than set him on a path to go through this shit.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-10-31T04:40:44+00:00

Are there any Morpheus' in the forum that would be willing to work with me?

That is our function on MRP- fucking Morpheus. So...welcome to the real world. Your eyes hurt because you have never used them before. Sorry about unplugging you so late in life but it was the best we could do.

As for friends...

First, spend some time mapping your future. Decide what AWESOME thing you are going to do. Get a black belt in karate? Learn Mixed Martial Arts. Join a glider club? Start playing baseball again? Decide what it is you want to do with your life. Of course this is in addition to lifting weights. Join a gym today.

Second, reconnect with old buddies on Facebook or social media. Get into a poker/golf/bowling group. Join a team. Volunteer to coach a sport. Take a second job on the 2nd shift doing a different job. Read How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It gets better and besides, there is no going back. The steak will never really taste the way it did.

Title	I'm that rare career beta that has arrived at the red pill...
Author	Quarter_Century_Club
Upvotes	12
Comments	58
Date	October 30, 2015 1:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3qs8sw/im_that_rare_career_beta_that_has_arrived_at_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/im-that-rare-career-beta-that-has-arrived-at-the.207953 https://theredarchive.com/post/207953

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