Ex-boyfriend of girl I am seeing vandalized her room when she was spending the weekend at my place.

CockyAndHot · 2019-02-25T19:08:28+00:00

Her ex has actual psychotic tendencies. You may be putting yourself in real danger by seeing her. No pussy is worth getting stabbed for.

ac714 · 2019-02-25T19:02:12+00:00

There is nothing legal or rational to be done but tell her he needs psychiatric help. She can report it to the police anyways. It still goes on file. She could tell the local newspaper. Fuck him, let everyone in town see that dumb shit.

boy_named_su · 2019-02-25T21:25:55+00:00

If she's not a complete moron, she'd get a restraining order against him. If she doesn't, then you need to stay the fuck away from her

QueenSlapFight · 2019-02-25T18:59:03+00:00

Not your problem. Plates personal lives do not overlap with the time you spend together. Shrug it off as not your problem.

[deleted] · 2019-02-25T20:45:27+00:00

She needs to file a police report who cares if he has family there.

redhawkes · 2019-02-25T20:57:13+00:00

If you don't next the crazy cunt, he's going to draw a portrait of her with your blood soon.

If your OP is true, this is fucked up psychotic shit.

rugged79 · 2019-02-25T19:57:36+00:00

Does she treat you right and do a lot for you?

If no, drop her. She's trying to get you to solve her problems.

If yes, then protect yourself and tell her get a restraining order on that dude.

It's not really your problem if she's not your GF. She should have her own methods of dealing with that shit. But you can move things along if you want to continue.

Just watch out. This dude might be Vegas-shooter level beta.

djdkksmskxixisd · 2019-02-25T19:24:39+00:00

She should have definitely called the cops

TheTrenTrannyTrain · 2019-02-25T20:28:47+00:00

If she refuses to file a police report, it means she has feelings for her ex. Tread carefully.

Whisper · 2019-02-25T21:10:06+00:00

What should I suggest or do to help this girl?

Why would you help her? What is she to you that you should be her unpaid bodyguard, or lawyer? Plates are for fucking. If they have problems in their lives, they can put on their big girl panties and deal.

Don't protect a girl unless she's earned LTR status.

okuli · 2019-02-25T19:02:35+00:00

Not your problem.

Your real problem: Being with a girl who's so low value she would have an ex that would do that. I would watch her more closely to see if she's crazy. Also of this guy coming after you. Don't ever go to this girl's place for one.

[deleted] · 2019-02-25T19:05:12+00:00

Leave it until it affects you. If this dude comes to your place then drop his ass if he attacks you. Otherwise its her issue 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏿‍♂️

scanfan2022 · 2019-02-25T22:25:19+00:00

OP, telling her to file a police report was the right thing to do. That should be the extent of your involvement in the matter.

Make sure this weirdo doesn't find out where you live or work.

Hyper_Sonik · 2019-02-25T19:12:35+00:00

I'd document it, this is especially good if you can catch him admitting it. I might even spam that over social media to embarrass him.

[deleted] · 2019-02-25T20:38:49+00:00

Try to please everyone and you’ll please no one.

Stop saying sorry for anything, everything is someone else’s problem.

You can’t take power by giving it away.

She’s a plate and has problems, I don’t see the problem, she’s merely an arrow in your quiver.

mcbeavy · 2019-02-25T20:45:56+00:00

I went through a similar thing. When her and I went to a festival for the weekend, he got drunk and trashed her place, breaking shit and writing horrible things in permanent marker on her furniture. I told her that I don't want any part in it, not out of fear but because this wasnt my problem to fix or something I felt like I needed to handle. You also have to ask yourself, while he may be psychotic, what issues arose between the two to drive him to become this way. I'm not saying she's to blame but ask yourself why she would have been with a person like this without seeing the red flags

Incaahhh · 2019-02-25T21:08:33+00:00

Seems like she doesnt even want help with that bs excuse. No rational person would not file a police report.

Seems like a lot of drama waiting to happen

Herdsengineers · 2019-02-25T21:10:26+00:00

one - should file a police report with pics/documentation, and for a civil RO against this nutjob. whether it goes anywhere or not, she needs to get it on record that she's concerned.

two - since it's a dorm, i'm assuming there is a college involved? she needs to ask the RA/hall monitor who to report it to with the university, and then go report it. again, she needs to document her concerns and the situation.

three - you need to stay the fuck out of it. don't take anything into your hands. let her deal with it like a big girl would, and let the system in place to deal with it legally deal with it. in fact, if i were you, i'd minimize how much i went to her room, and she should take steps and be aware if he's following her around, like to your place or not.

four - if he shows up at your place (whether she's there or not) and causes any problem, same deal for you as her - police report with documentation of his behavior, and file for a civil RO. this is only if you are personally affected, as in he shows up at your place, follows you, approaches and threatens you, etc. then, it's about YOU being impacted by this, not her.

five - if she won't file to protect herself, don't let her try to turn you into the white knight. you don't want that kind of trouble. tell her she files with authorities or she otherwise deals with him solo. you aren't trained or equipped to deal with it, the authorities are. you need to stay focused on school, not being a bodyguard.

[deleted] · 2019-02-25T23:52:19+00:00

Dump her and run. I'm sure she knew he was crazy when she got together with him and if you rub her the wrong way she might go as far as setting him on you by spilling some story on how you tricked her or whatever.

QueenSlapFight · 2019-02-25T23:53:59+00:00

Not sure if taking the matter into my own hands is something that is right/wrong or good/bad.

Lol no. This isn't TV. She has a responsibility to minimize the drama she introduces into your life. If she is permitting him to do this shit without trying to stop it, she's too fucking open to drama. Move on to someone who isn't so fucking dumb so as not to call the cops when a psycho ex is breaking into their house and writing pentagrams on the wall.

shady_nasty_mf · 2019-02-26T00:13:41+00:00

She should still file a police report, if shit really hits the fan he'll have a track record for investigators to through.

Aside from that, did you see this pentagram for yourself in person? Or did she just tell you and you believed her?

Tiway22 · 2019-02-26T00:26:13+00:00

If she doesn’t file a report you should stop seeing her. Don’t put yourself in danger.

[deleted] · 2019-02-26T00:38:02+00:00

he has family in the police department and it wouldn't go anywhere

This assumes 1) He was telling the truth and it wasn't just some bipolar rant he went on 2) This is a small enough town to have an incestuous police force. Here in the US at least police are under a tons of scrutiny lately and I don't think a stalking crime would fly in a decent sized city just because it was done by a beat cop's nephew.

Not sure if taking the matter into my own hands is something that is right/wrong or good/bad.

Confronting this guy yourself is a really bad idea. However, if this girl seems like mother of your kids material you can run protector game. Take a kickboxing class with her, take her to the shooting range, etc.

[deleted] · 2019-02-26T00:49:13+00:00

Get the fuck out of thereand let her deal with this herself.

This should sent up more red flags than Tiananmen Square. You don't need a chick with this much baggage.

Furthermore, if this is the kind of guy she attracts you might want to imagine what kind of personality she has.

Like meets like.

Andgelyo · 2019-02-26T01:02:43+00:00

Smash and pass if she’s not LTR, her baggage is not your problem

Zanford · 2019-02-26T01:42:22+00:00

Did you actually SEE this little Satanic ritual, or is all of this coming from her mouth? What information do you have that did not come through her?

Anyway, whether it's real or not, the answer is:

Ghost. The dude could kill you, and if she's not willing to call the police, there's not much you can do. It's not your job to get stabbed to death by being her knight in shining armor when she could literally dial 3 digits on her phone to call a bunch of professional white knights with badges and uniforms and guns to handle the problem for her. This is a slam dunk for a restraining order and prob getting him to prison, esp if that horror movie shit is still there with his prints on it.

She should ghost from her place too, and stay somewhere the bf doesn't know about.

(And that should not be with you, since you can't know she won't reveal your location to him with her phone.)

And if she's lying, she's a whole special level of crazy you don't need.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-02-26T02:07:08+00:00

Its not your job to save hoes. Shes not your gf. If she isnt willing to protect herself, she won't do anything to protect you with her ex comes to sacrifice you. Stop trying to save people who dont want to be saved. Go listen to some J Cole - No Role Modelz

Again, forget this chick and MOVE ON if she does not file the report.

barn3r · 2019-02-26T02:18:21+00:00

Bro, are you serious? A FUCKING BLOOD PENTAGRAM TO SHOW HIS AFFECTION TO HER?!?!?!

That’s some next level fucking psychotic weird shit. The kind of shit you see in movies. Tread carefully here. This girl is a retard for one. If she isn’t going to take the proper steps to report this and make it so it doesn’t happen again without serious repercussions, you need to gtfo... like yesterday. Clearly this ex is totally fucked up and she probably isn’t that far behind you just haven’t seen it yet.

zxcvb7809 · 2019-02-26T03:56:35+00:00

Why does her ex bf have a key to get into her apartment or home or dorm or whatever?

Battletoad101 · 2019-02-26T07:47:16+00:00

Literally bring your boys and bash the kid

chazthundergut · 2019-02-26T07:53:16+00:00

Dont get involved

friendandadvisor · 2019-02-26T08:05:00+00:00

Dump her ass. Anybody who uses that excuse not to call the cops will have an even better excuse for why she sucked his dick.

WayneNolting · 2019-02-26T11:33:23+00:00

First of all, you should be spinning multiple plates. Second of all, this one should probably be falling off and breaking.

SimplyFishOil · 2019-02-26T12:38:35+00:00

She's trying to protect her ex, nothing wrong with that, but you should realize that this may involve you at some point. You may have to face this crazy motherfucker

If you really like her, do something about it yourself and you'll be a fucking badass in her eyes, otherwise just bail and at least let her know why

Mineralrecords · 2019-02-26T14:48:38+00:00

If she is stupid enough to not report him to the police, abort asap and let her deal with it. He might be playing this psycho attitude or he might not. Either way, no pussy is worth finding out if he's really capable of stabbing you or not.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-02-25T19:05:00+00:00

You just got cucked bro. You’re gonna have to burn down her apartment just to get back in the game.

Title	Ex-boyfriend of girl I am seeing vandalized her room when she was spending the weekend at my place.
Author	Swan_in_a_Cage
Upvotes	39
Comments	87
Date	February 25, 2019 6:55 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/auosmi/exboyfriend_of_girl_i_am_seeing_vandalized_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ex-boyfriend-of-girl-i-am-seeing-vandalized-her.220047 https://theredarchive.com/post/220047

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