Then again, before it I was depressed, suicidal and felt helpless. Now atleast I value myself way higher and I'm way better at pulling chicks. Still though, thoughts that tell me my perfect girl never existed in the first place, love as my blue pilled mind understood it is not possible and that I'll never again experience the same naive emotional rush as before leave me just plain sad. I'm extremely better at understanding, navigating and functoning in reality, but this reality is bleak and the colors are not as bright as they used to be. I can put a label on everything and sooner or later I always turn out to be right. I went through phases of anger and resentment, now it's just that I know reality will never again be as lively as it used to be, because I don't care about anything as much as I used to and I don't know if I ever will. Is this normal? Can you progress from this stage in red pill development?
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