Guide to selecting a good/healthy LTR

Cyralea · 2014-10-06T15:00:45+00:00

Family

This needs to be your number one bullet point. No one understands a good family dynamic better than someone who grew up with one. The absence of any of the following are huge red flags to watch for when seeking a good LTR prospect:

-Parents still married
-Good relationship with both parents, but especially the father
-Father is the head of the household

Every girl I've met lacking one of these criteria was broken in some way.

prodigyx · 2014-10-06T17:43:23+00:00

I don't agree at all with the personality section. Intovert girls are NOT better than extrovert girls. All your reasons for choosing introverted girls are based on a beta mindset.

Just because she is introverted does not make her less likely to leave you. She will leave you for a better alpha no matter what. Trying to limit her options, trying to keep her from going out partying will do nothing but hurt your relationship. She will always have the capability to leave you and you are not helping anyone by trying to pick a girl that seems like she doesn't have options. Facebook/instagram attention/beta orbiters are a non-issue and can actually be a positive thing. If your LTR is going to leave you because she gets a lot of validation on the internet, she was going to leave you anyways. If you are not confident in your ability as a man to keep her, then go ahead and pick an introverted girl but you are just prolonging the inevitable. If you want to keep a girl, then be a better man than any other man she can get.

Extroverted girls are more fun to spend time with. They are more fun to go out with. They attract more attention and make you look better. You can bring them to professional functions and they will raise your perceived value instead of being that weird shy little date. Other men will respect you more because you are the one in control of the fun girl that all the guys are paying attention to.

Since your reasoning for picking an introverted girl over an extroverted one is primarily to reduce risk, you may as well change you "Looks" section and tell people to go for only 7s or lower. This will have the same results as picking an introvert over an extrovert.

Soultrane9 · 2014-10-06T13:41:20+00:00

No daddy issues, low partner count, non-slutty friends, strong family upbringing, educated, has actual hobbies and enjoys eating/exercising to remain healthy

2014-10-06T14:40:42+00:00

Another great read is the "Unicorn Hunter Checklist" created by /u/occamsusername [+14] (can't link to it so check his post history). It's the third part of his in depth LTR series that is an excellent resource for any man about to enter or already in an exclusive relationship.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-10-06T17:02:45+00:00

Your logic is flawed here because it is always the man who approaches the woman. You are making the assumption that quiet girls are good girls. Nowdays with the internet and dating sites this changes things.

Introverts will be less comfortable in group situations and will less enjoy going out and partying regularly (reducing risk).

If you need to count on her personality to reduce risk, you are doing something majorly wrong. Introverted women migbt get less attention. But if she decides to set up a dating profile she wil get all sorts of attention she is not used to. And she will be more inclined to branch swing, because she sees all sorts of opportunity which she never saw before.

An extroverted girl will be used to turning down offers.

SIK_KUNT · 2014-10-06T19:40:11+00:00

•7 and below - not worth your time as TRP man can do better.

This is silly, IMO.

There will be TRP guys who will likely never be 7's or 8's in the sexual marketplace. Under a bell curve distribution, only like 16% of all women will be above a 6.25, right? I'm no mathematician but that's my understanding of it (http://i.imgur.com/riwro.png). That accords with my person observations: most women are in the middle, only a few are really hot (what I'd call a 7.5 or above). A woman who is a 9+ is going to be fewer than 1 in a thousand.

If you're saying "Only go after the top 2% of women for LTRs" then you're saying "don't go after LTRs at all." And that's cool, because I'd mostly agree with the rest of your list - and know that most women simply aren't going to measure up in today's Western culture.

The good thing about being a man is that a 6/10 can get us hard and give us 10000s of orgasms. If a guy who wants a LTR finds a woman who meets all of this list but isn't Salma Hayek, he shouldn't hold off because she falls below some arbitrary cutoff.

Do you like the way she looks in panties? She's hot enough.

let_terror_reign · 2014-10-06T21:23:54+00:00

Its actually incredible. I never realized how good my LTR is. Reading this opened my eyes. My relationship before my current relationship had all of the traits of things to avoid, down to a tee. My current relationship has all of the traits of things to LOOK for. And I've been with her, long distance, for nearly 3 years. Which is huge for me. Never once has she had issues and I've never had a problem with her beyond the simple and occasional corrections. It's beautiful, actually. Very good post.

Edit: mobile phone autocorrection spelling.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-10-06T17:37:59+00:00

Scrap everything before family, everything else is good. Add must have similar values, interests and goals. Otherwise you will end up with differences you can not reconcile. Find someone who you can get along with, you enjoy being around. So I am a mega asshole, I usually do what ever I want. So I have a wife who is a bitch, that way it balances things out.

After you have been married for 15+ years, the good set of tits and ass the wife has won't keep a marriage together. You both have to be willing to admit when you are wrong. Both of you have to be willing to make compromises.

I am married, I like being married. But from reading about other people's marriages I have no idea why most people get married. Your wife has to be your best friend, and she has to be willing to back you up and fight for you.

So I came home for lunch, I then told the wife how some asshole pissed me off and what I did about it. And then the wife said all that talk made her really hot and she wanted to fuck me right now. I wasn't really in the mood, but I had to keep the wife happy. Afterwards we started talking about our exGF and we need to get a new one. I said it is her turn to find one she said she is working on it. We have fun conversations like that.

There has to be mutal respect in a relationship. If you cant have all these things and more don't get married just have a series of casual flings.

vengefully_yours · 2014-10-07T13:58:23+00:00

Had one that was everything you put up as worthy except looks, and yes I was with her for nine years. Know what? A simple chemical exposure that limited my breathing for a few months was all it took to make her as stupid as the rest of them. She was even a virgin, mostly because she was homely and plain. I assumed nobody else would want her due to her looks, and I enjoyed her personality and her thin body type. Nope, I was wrong, desperate losers living in their dads basement would chase after her ugly ass, and she would respond to it just like any bitch does. Only now is she getting an idea of how good she had it for nine years, and I will never have another LTR.... By choice.

Dev_on · 2014-10-06T18:35:48+00:00

Is there research into this guide beyond 'out of your ass?'

Theres people that will take your advice at face value, i trust you actually did something more than just wing it?

2014-10-06T19:44:33+00:00

In my experience introverted women are more likely to keep stuff in leading to problems down the line. They'll also just slip away rather than come straight out and say it's over. Introverted women want to avoid confrontation so they'll hide stuff.

ISODAK · 2014-10-06T20:43:23+00:00

A word of caution about the family dynamic: problems can arise from a girl being too close to her family.

Here are some from my wife:

She gets validation from her family members. She's on the phone with her mom/sisters pretty much every day, so if I point out something she's doing wrong / needs to improve, she just bitches to them and they tell her she's awesome and I'm a jerk. Problem solved; no need to improve.
Even though her family was a traditional dynamic with alpha father, she still fell for feminist bs and wanted a "partnership of equals" (I fell for it too). In the absence of my dominance and frame, she created her own. So even with me trying to improve and rebuild frame, she doesn't care to win my approval.
Family has taken a cult-like status to her: she wants to be near them all the time (ignores me when she is), defines morality/normalcy according to how they behave (dumb), and she's always trying to re-create her childhood experiences in our family, without thought to whether that's appropriate.

Long story short, look for more than just a bond. Is it a healthy bond? Does she retain some independence? Is she looking to enter your frame, or is she just looking for a guy to pull into her family's frame?

anonlymouse · 2014-10-06T20:53:30+00:00

Watch out for girls with 'daddy issues', or have had any trauma that's happened to them growing up.

Pretty hard to avoid. Either you get spoiled rotten or abused, and finding someone who falls in that narrow gap of neither who also doesn't have any sort of mental illness is going to be very difficult.

You're better off if you're willing to deal with some level of it and learn the right way of doing it.

Azothlike · 2014-10-06T16:28:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

itsarusko · 2014-10-06T16:57:08+00:00

It's weird, when I first started dating my girl, she was the extrovert and I was the introvert. That was actually a big reason I was into her. She had all the school friends, lots of cool dude friends, lots of cool girl friends, I was the introvert, with one 'good' friend and the rest of my 'semi friends' were asocial gamers. As our relationship progressed, I was meeting a lot of her friends, and she didn't meet any of mine.. because they were asocial gamers lol.

But eventually, a flip happened. She became more introverted, doing a lot more studying, more reading, more cooking, and my social skills (which i was working on consciously for a while) got to a point where I had a big social circle of friends and was extremely extraverted. Always approaching random strangers, making friends, that kind of thing.

She respects me more now, she hangs out with my friends more now, (she likes my friends more since I choose quality people)

reasonableman1 · 2014-10-06T14:30:53+00:00

and wears Raybans

wat? care to explain?

However, much of everything else you said was gold. So very true. Set boundries and expectations immediately about finances. Otherwise it is difficult to go back once you've started down that path of her walking on you financially.

Also, I couldn't tell you the difference between a "7" and a "7.5". Having 20 levels of rating sounds ridiculous to me.

my-redpillthrowaway · 2014-10-06T23:27:30+00:00

I agree with all of this except for the career section. Sure, she should be able to support herself financially. But a woman with a very demanding career (doctor, engineer, lawyer) is the biggest turn off to me. Even bigger than a high N count.

Title	Guide to selecting a good/healthy LTR
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	72
Comments	59
Date	October 6, 2014 1:21 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2ig189/guide_to_selecting_a_goodhealthy_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/guide-to-selecting-a-goodhealthy-ltr.22458 https://theredarchive.com/post/22458

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