TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

How do I stop thinking about a girl without having an abundance of other girls?

Reddit View
Facebook Twitter Reddit Email Copy link
PDF EPUB TXT PNG
monkofallmonks
April 28, 2019
84 upvotes
askTRP

I'm really struggling to focus on other things with this girl (HB9/9.5) popping up in my mind all the time. I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen to me again but it has. I need some help. Telling myself I have an abundance of girls is creating a cognitive dissonance. I talk to a few other girls, but not fucking. The one on my mind is definitely the best looking


Post Information
Title How do I stop thinking about a girl without having an abundance of other girls?
Author monkofallmonks
Upvotes 84
Comments 63
Date 28 April 2019 02:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236475
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bibs92/how_do_i_stop_thinking_about_a_girl_without/
Similar Posts
Loading Loading

Red Pill terms found in post:
abundance
Comments

[–]Justanotherredditt134 points135 points  (3 children) | Copy

Get busy with other shit. Invest in yourself

[–]006rbc45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, an idle mind will obsess with something.

[–]monkofallmonks 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks will try

[–]KeyboardTuba4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

For real, bud. Just caught a brief episode of oneitis post friendzoned. Once I got a workout in, started building a PC, and set up a trip with friends it really hasn't bothered me anymore. You'll get through it to with the initiative.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed60 points61 points  (2 children) | Copy

Answer is in your title.

Spend time and energy getting an abundance rather than wasting your time and energy on a oneitus.

Alternatively, take your shot at the hottie. You'll find out one way or the other really quick.

What I'm saying is pull your thumb out of your ass and do something.

[–]JackedOnEspresso23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Action trumps inaction every time

[–]slicklol9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Motion creates emotion.

[–]JSuma27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

Reflection without action is the road to depression. I’m going through the same shit rn. Stay occupied and stay horny and we’ll have new girls in no time, it’s no different than the first time we felt this way.

[–]Flintblood9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Reflection without action is the road to depression.

That’s some serious poetry and wisdom. Props and silver if I have it.

[–]JSuma1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not my quote, saw it on TRP a while ago.

Reflection without action leads to depression, like sadboys
Action without reflection leads to burnout, like school, work, or sports

[–]resnine-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Action without reflection is also a road to depression.

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Action without reflection seems more like it leads to serious crash and burns. I knew too many type 1 thinkers who were able to get by a long time by just acting, but eventually that gut instinct first response or casual blurt out bit them in the ass and cost them nearly everything.

I think the ideal is 'informed action' - to act from a flow state of proficient planning, experience from practice, flexible thinking, and cool resolve and patience.

[–]JSuma1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

= burnout

[–]EvanPetersDouble9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have an abundance of other girls.

[–]resnine28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

You mean the ultimate question of "how do I have abundance mentality when I don't actually have abundance?"

[–]monkofallmonks 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I guess

[–]KingRead9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

If u don't have the abundance already, understand that you have an abundance of options. That's where the mentality comes from. Okay you only have this 1 girl in your life and if it fails that's fine because there's millions, millions of other girls you could talk to next. That's abundance when you don't actually have it.

If it don't work with her, you can move on and there's still millions of girls you can talk to next.

[–]middobbo54 points55 points  (13 children) | Copy

Every time you catch yourself thinking about her, imagine her taking a really loose, absolute stinking shit.

[–]monkofallmonks 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Haha seems legit

[–]resnine23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

Imagine her licking another guys dirty ass.

[–]MetalstepTNG5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn, that's just soul crushing on so many levels.

I like it.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Courtesy of the late great St.Patrice

[–]Pokeylaw7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought about that omg

[–]US_A3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every time you catch yourself thinking about her, imagine her sucking your Dad's dick.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm so hard rn

[–]letmereadthatshit4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Put this in your mind you re in this world in the end no one cares about you and you shouldn't care about nobody else either work on yourself make money build a nice lifestyle build a Greek god body after you become a top 10 man everybody will wanna be a part of your life .work and focus on yourself and everything will be ok

[–]ogkushinjapan15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s prob only a 9 in your head. Most likely just a 7 irl

[–]2319Skew8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's easy to fall into a pit when your head is in the clouds.

When you game only one girl, you start to double down on the way she makes you feel and you forget that :

It's just your turn

AWALT

She's had other guys and will have others

You forget your purpose (hint : it's not her)

You start to idolize her strength and ignore falts

[–]uptimex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is not abundance if you don't have another 9.5 to spin plates yet.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Convince yourself that you are irresistible to women. Or in other words, fake it till you make it. Stop being sad, be awesome. Hit the gym. Read sidebar. In time you will stop giving a fuck.

[–]Aesthetic_God__0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You can't fake something fam. You can't fake you're a killer and a gorilla if you're really not feeling, 'it' inside of you. This shouldn't be upvoted. People like you are major contributors to TRP and other follow your ideas of faking shit blindly. Create a new frame instead would be better advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If course you can fake it.

[–]fuckrbrasilmods3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Simply persist on a day to day basis. Attraction subsides. You have to deconstruct her image a little bit: is she really a 9.5? How will she look in 10 years?

[–]dm2221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

cut her out of you life completly, that helped me, but it took 6 months to completly forget her, like pass weeks without thinking about her...

and now not only I dont miss her, as I realize how dumb I was...

​

but 4 years later I developed oenitis for another girl, very similar situation, and thats why I was red pilled...

[–]fartingaround1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont chase em replace em. The only over one is on top of another

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Just read your edit.

Dude you're a teenager, you're smitten.

I actually don't know what advice to give you other than you've just gotta go through it.

"Abundance" for almost all of us is learned the hard way. One day it just clicks and you find yourself no longer upset by flakes and rejection, you know there's always other girls out there, and that you have something to offer them.

I know young guys hate hearing this from us older dudes, but you'll learn as you get older.

Good news is you're here now, and not just finding this shit when you're 30.

Just let yourself like the girl. If it doesn't work, let it suck.

Then go get after another one.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is probably the best take on this. There's nothing to do when you're 'smitten' but work through it. Work through it and learn abundance awareness. You learn over time that this one person does not complete you. You complete you and author your life.

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Abundance mentality doesn’t require actual present abundance. It comes from internalizing; it comes from within. Past success helps builds that, but you don’t need a double digit roster of plates to have faith in your belief that one girl will not make or break your world.

Enjoy the moments while they last. Experience should teach you that these moments, your turn, is not promised to continue on and on. Acting on this experience should lead you to be present and fully inhale the moment while you’re living it.

[–]salieri1452 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

fake it till you make it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Think about building an abundance lol

[–]AClive220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Next her if you must and work on your game to actually get abundance. Once you start banging other girls she will be a distant memory. Getting busy with hobbies that are interesting to you helps as well

[–]laurcrv0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Are you my twin brother?

[–]monkofallmonks 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Haha maybe Same situation?

[–]laurcrv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was in the same situation yea, the girl was exactly how you described, you are exactly like me from the way you described it, we are both in high school - everything is so similar. You could try to give it a shot honestly, it may be too late tho. At a party with this girl out of nowhere she started talking about her feelings about me and how she used to have a crush on me so hard in the past and all that, I took it as I don't like you no more but it could've definitely been a last invitation for me to do something, I didn't but I don't regret it. Take your shot now or never

[–]Thinkingard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are at your apex of SMV. You aren't able to trick your brain into thinking you have abundance if you don't actually have abundance (fucking girls, but, more importantly, knowing you could get laid with an attractive girl if you wanted, but this happens after fucking other girls). Is this girl thinking about you like you think about her? You talk like you are big value, but you debase your value and put this girl on a pedestal. Maybe she likes the chase, but all girls are gonna flake. Just find others you want, if anything, that will make her jealous and want you, but assume it's a sailed ship.

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Purpose.

Find your mission in life and get after it

[–]Gordon-G0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t ever place a woman on a pedestal, and never have oneitis! Always play the field !

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop giving her free attention (and free hugs). She now has both her attention needs covered, and a complete.sense of control. Why should she give any of this up? HB9s need a man who is a challenge. Stop wagging your tail to every bone she throws you.

As a sidenote, she's most probably a bad case for a LTR, anyway. It makes no sense spending more time thinking about her than you'll spend with her if you get together.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

'dimes like her aren't exactly easy to come by'

Yes they are

​

'getting girls is definitely not a problem'

Then why be hung up?

Also, why the long list of traits qualifying yourself to us?

Frankly, this girl is fucking you around, and you're orbiting her. Stop that. There is an abundance of women who aren't going to fuck you around 'talking' about sex, and flaking. Have some self respect. You teach others to respect your time and desires, by first respecting yourself.

You have oneitis and are putting her on a pedestal.

[–]YourShadowScholar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Try to focus on getting flexible enough to suck your own penis. The effort involved will help keep your mind off of the girl. Also, it will enable you to think of her blowjobs less often as you will be able to give great ones to yourself!

[–]extraterrestial0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Research taking 5-htp för a couple of Days.. has helped me a couple of times.

[–]roughback0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

remind yourself that other men have busted fat nuts inside her, and she loved it.

[–]Gordon-G-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s a good one..just your turn

[–]handfulofnuts-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s not a 9, I can almost guarantee you. 10s don’t exist, or rather, a 10 is an objective 9 that happens to fit your subjective preferences (a 10 is a 9 who’s “your type”). E.g., I like Asian girls, so an Asian 9 with big tits and a nice ass could be a 10 for me (rare, unfortunately, but they’re out there).

So for her to be a 9, she has to be as hot as a girl gets. She’s in high school, so...she ain’t. Extremely rare exceptions may exist, but they prove the rule.

Also, trust me on this, in a few years you’ll think of the “hot girls” from high school and wonder why the hell you thought they were so hot. You will have had more experience with more girls in more places, and you’ll realize those girls were just “cute for Pembroke Hills High School” or whatever.

Plus, 9s don’t like guys their own age, especially not when they’re 18. Sorry dude. They date guys who are a few years older, at least.

So all that said, she’s a 7, maaaaaaybe an 8 at best. You may not agree, but it’s best to think of her that way anyway, so you don’t pedestalize her. She’s just a 7, so what’s the big deal?

And look, if this 7 is into you, other 7s will be into you too. You may not know they are, but they are. Some 8s will be into you. Maybe even a 9 or two, once you’re older. Definitely a bunch of 6s.

So that’s where abundance mentality comes from when you don’t have an actual abundance of bitches around you. The first time I hooked up with an 8 (an objective 8, but a 9 for me because she was a gorgeous Japanese chick), I knew I could get other girls like her. Even if I wouldn’t get one as hot as her for a while (and it did take a while), I knew I could, and I knew that a bunch of girls a bit less hot than her would definitely be into me. So that gave me the abundance to go out and find them.

So move on. You’ve got options. And if you start acting like a guy who has options, she may even become more interested.

[–]GandMeChattri-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll be blunt.

If you're incapable of snagging that HB9 then you're self-sabotaging and nothing else.

Rather have a HB6 hole to stick your dick in than daydream about a HB9 hoe. I'm willing to personally go as low as a 4 if her personality is pleasant.

When you're banging that HB6, your sexual urges are taken care of and you won't think about that HB9 24x7.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter