Need help dumping GF - most painless way?

FereallyRed · 2019-05-07T16:49:52+00:00

Just remember this: you aren’t ending it. It’s already over. She is just making YOU be the one to kill the puppy. So it doesn’t matter how, you don’t owe her anything. Remember that you’re only performing the act that she is too cowardly to do on her own.

SeasonedRP · 2019-05-07T17:45:22+00:00

You've said 4 or 5 times that your girlfriend is your best friend and was before you dated. A girl shouldn't be your best friend. You probably treated her in a goofy, sappy manner, like a buddy, instead of doing things to generate attraction. It thus isn't surprising that she can't stand you and avoids contact. You didn't treat her how girls want to be treated. Constantly saying she is your best friend is a key sign of this.

Breaking it off will bother you a lot more than her. She'll be glad to be rid of you. Ghosting and cutting contact is fine. If you told her in person, you'd see her eyes light up with glee.

MajesticPitch · 2019-05-07T16:45:22+00:00

Hard next and no contact. Be prepared if she wants to contact you again in a few days, weeks or months. You can demote her to a plate if she wants to come back to you but never re-initiate a relationship. In the mean time, improve on yourself and have fun. Sounds like you have been investing a lot of time on her so there's definitely things you can improve in your life such as (Work on your muscle gains, try a new hairstyle, improve fashion sense, socialize with new people while maintaining frame, meditatation and daily stretches). I know that feeling of breaking up with a close girl, its going to hurt but when you exit out the other side, you become a new MAN if you've been striving to be the best you can be. There's an alpha in every man, you just have to spark the fire inside you. That's the beauty of the red piill. Be the desirable man many bitches fantasize about.

notdoreen · 2019-05-07T18:16:14+00:00

She has lately ignored me and avoids contact with me - unless I approach and talk to her, she usually replies but keeps the convo short.

My guy are you sure she's not the one dumping you?

Intentional69 · 2019-05-07T18:13:40+00:00

Say you don't feel the same and it's best you go your separate ways. Quick and clean. Oh it's gonna hurt you good nice and deep like, the point is a few have said already is that it's over, and that's okay. This is one of the hardest parts but you have to step back and look at it as a lesson learned and move on with your life.

thetotalpackage7 · 2019-05-07T22:05:38+00:00

"I know you'll agree ....we've grown apart and we were better friends than BF/GF...see ya around, peace out"

0io- · 2019-05-07T22:42:38+00:00

You don't really have to do anything because she's already gone.

I would tell her you don't have any time to be in a relationship right now because you're too busy but you still think she's sexy and if she wants to hook up once in a while that's fine with you. It leaves the door open for her to be your booty call, which is always nice. And ironically, if she takes you up on it, she'll start liking you a lot better because you've become the self-centered uncaring non-needy alpha jerk that girls love.

A lot of times girls who are bored in relationships are happier to be plates or hook-ups. You're more mysterious and uncontrollable and they don't feel like they own you or have you on a string. Let somebody else be her friend or take her out on dates. You're happy to use her for sex / have her use you for sex.

Just don't get clingy and one-itisy again!

edit: I think it's good practice to hook-up down the road with girls you used to have oneitis for because it reinforces the idea that relationships are temporary and women will come and go. After it happens enough you will genuinely stop caring when some formerly great girlfriend flakes out on you. Maybe she comes back around maybe she doesn't, you've got plenty of other options. And you don't have to hide anything or be dishonest because when you're just hooking up with your ex there's no expectation that you're "being faithful" to her or anything else. And when you hook up with someone else you don't have to break up with anyone because you weren't "with anyone".

Original_Dankster · 2019-05-07T19:30:08+00:00

There's a few angst ridden teenagers or incels larping as TRP poon-slayers here who are telling you to hard next / ghost her. Bad idea, since you say:

"our social groups have merged"

...That tells me you want an amicable split, or you'll damage your social circle and reputation.

A text breakup is the bare minimum. A short conversation in a public place (so there's witnesses and you can walk away - never break up at your own home!) would be better, but you could probably get away with a phone call or a text.

Never badmouth her to any of your shared friends. Always be vague when describing why you ended things. "Just didn't work out" or "We weren't the one for each other" that sort of shit.

Never go back for ex-sex. That should go without saying.

zxcvb7809 · 2019-05-07T18:22:06+00:00

Life is interesting in that we, as manifestations of the moment, think some of what we experience is our own. A word from the wise, it is never ours it is only our turn. To walk, to breath to feel her warm embrace, it is all the same. You enjoy this pleasure only in this moment. Even if you could feel the same pleasure again I can almost promise you it wouldn't be the same the second time around.

LilLoserFreny · 2019-05-07T18:31:41+00:00

Dump her with no remorse man

LLL3peat · 2019-05-07T19:08:46+00:00

Avoids huh? Just hard next until she reaches out. Only make plans to have her come over and have fun. That's it. She's going to have to chase you to keep you. Might be a power play

throwitdownman · 2019-05-07T20:21:51+00:00

Just ghost. Don’t think of it as something bad, everybody has done it before. Hell, she’s doing it to you right now.

Eventually, when you ghost a girl, she’ll ask you what’s up. At this point, you can play dumb (which is what she is probably doing to you) or be direct and say it’s over. Whichever you choose, the other party will eventually ‘get it’, feel ‘disappointed’ and move on. You’ll feel like an asshole for a minute, but you’ll get over it. She will to. Your social circle will as well. Time heals all.

nananaNate8 · 2019-05-07T21:04:32+00:00

Just out of curiosity, and you get to self reflect a bit... Do you feel like you did anything beta or blue pill that led to this situation?

Mensphysique12 · 2019-05-07T22:30:06+00:00

Easiest way to do it is to be driving somewhere with her in the car, when you pull up to wherever you are dropping her off just say “hey this really isn’t working out and I wanted to do it in person, I don’t have any desire to discuss it and I have to go”. She leaves and boom, you’re done.

It’s already over given what you’ve said, as other posters have mentioned she just wants you do to the deed.

Remember she isn’t your friend, never was. Just a lover you had your turn with.

vapel1fe42069 · 2019-05-07T21:30:56+00:00

Honestly, I was in your position a few years ago. I needed to move on and the relationship was ending. Screw all these other guys here saying to ghost her over text. You could do that, it would be effective and you don't owe her closure.

But that isn't right. You owe it to yourself and to her to break it off in person like an honest and straightforward man. Doing something like that over text is cowardly. Just meet with her and tell her that you need to end the relationship because its not working out for you. Then you get up and walk out of her life.

No_senses · 2019-05-07T23:04:35+00:00

You can end it now or just ghost, the only issue with ghosting though is that it may just end up being “end it later” since you guys have the same social circle and go to the same school.

jim1564 · 2019-05-07T23:51:04+00:00

I'm in a VERY similar situation. Stay strong bro, we are worth more than hoes that don't give a fuck to us, keep your self respect and don't humiliate yourself for someone that isn't worth it

chazthundergut · 2019-05-08T00:30:01+00:00

Face to face in a public place.

Remember: no arguments, no vindictive barbs, no "talking things over" for closure.

Be polite but keep a flat face.

"I do not want to be in a relationship with you anymore. I have enjoyed our time together and I wish you the best in the future."

And then you get up and leave. Dont answer any questions but if she asks why say "I'm not in love with you anymore" and say no more

GetMeLaidAlot · 2019-05-08T00:38:58+00:00

Don't be an emotional wreck about it but make it painful. Not for her, but for you. Pain transformed you if you embrace it. You're doing yourself a disservice by just texting her as well; it's easy and an avoidance tactic.

jonadragonslay · 2019-05-08T01:54:11+00:00

Piss the bed.

flatox · 2019-05-08T08:59:32+00:00

Don't wait for the holiday to start, just fucking do it.

MattyAnon · 2019-05-08T12:51:09+00:00

And it is truly painful. I'm dumping her because this is bad for me. I'm dumping her because the relationship is dying. The boat is sinking and I want out.

good

This is killing both a friend and a girlfriend - the friend component is what is hurting the most.

your best friend should not be female, and not be someone you are fucking.

Relationships are temporary. With this in mind it's obvious where you've gone wrong, but I know it's painful to fix.

I'm going to shoot her a text saying the relationship is dead and that as a result I think parting is the best

Do it in person, do it in semi-public (eg park, quiet coffee shop).

Salvage what you can of your friend group, but 99% will side with her.

Noctis_Cloud · 2019-05-08T15:48:29+00:00

Be as respectful about it as possible, but don’t hesitate. Just remember this relationship and this breakup won’t matter in the future. You’ll be doing other things. Just cut the cord and bail.

Captngeorge · 2019-05-07T18:15:02+00:00

Uou never know what bothers her, unless you sit and talk. At least that way you will do YOU part, and wont drag yourself down the rabbit hole of the unknown.

Besides, it will be much more powerful if you told her how you feel, and then end it. So the power remains on your side. (And it doesn’t sound like you have done anything wrong, though maybe we don’t have the whole picture as well)..

Just a thought.

Flintblood · 2019-05-07T20:40:05+00:00

It’s already faded and fading away. Just turn the Beta up to 11 and make it so she has to be the one to admit she wants out. That is, if you want to avoid reversal drama and allow her to save face. You’ll still have control (intentional beta behavior for a goal) and she doesn’t have to be the one that is jilted.

Furrealyo · 2019-05-07T16:47:03+00:00

Dump her face to face maybe and see how she reacts? Sorry can’t think of much currently

Title	Need help dumping GF - most painless way?
Author	MajesticPitch
Upvotes	122
Comments	84
Date	07 May 2019 04:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/237483
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/blsx58/need_help_dumping_gf_most_painless_way/