Why Cant I Keep Anyone?

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May 8, 2019
64 upvotes

Hey,

So, I get girls laid. Thats not the issue. I am confident, have a good SMV, have good conversations.

The only problem is girls dont go further than just sex with me.

None wants to be in a relationship.

They say they are attracted but its not enough.

Does this happen to any of you?

Any reason for this?


Post Information
Title Why Cant I Keep Anyone?
Author innerspeaker88
Upvotes 64
Comments 74
Date 08 May 2019 07:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/237666
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bm9b3l/why_cant_i_keep_anyone/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
sexual market value
Comments

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS75 points76 points  (28 children) | Copy

One of the better problems to have on AskTRP.

There's not enough information to go on here, and it'll be hard to calibrate advice if we don't know which culture you're working in.

Are women coming back for more sex, or ghosting completely after a bang or two?

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 31 points32 points  (23 children) | Copy

They come back. Sex is not the issue at all.

The problem is when I try to escalate to something as relationship they step back.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS85 points86 points  (16 children) | Copy

Relationship escalation is the woman's prerogative. If they want to keep coming back for sex only, no need to adjust machinery that's working fine.

Wanting a relationship should not be your primary goal. Dating and plating can be considered a screening process for worthy LTR candidates. If none of these seem to be coming through your bedroom, the problem is probably further upstream in your dating funnel. You're selecting for SMV but neglecting RMV.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

Relationship escalation is the woman's prerogative.

Basically summed up what I have to say about this. She always has to be the one to ask for the relationship or you're off on the wrong foot.

Without enough info, maybe our boy here is just banging sluts that don't want a relationship.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe most of them are sluts, right.

But one that im sure she isnt just fled through my fingers

[–]failingtheturingtest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As was already said, hard to say without more info. But if you come off as a slut, then some will use you for some guilt free fun while they find a provider or someone they see with more RMV.

If you come off as too needy, pushy, controlling or clingy, then they might enjoy the sex but be wary of any level of commitment with you.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas3 points4 points  (12 children) | Copy

RMV?

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

Relationship Market Value.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

I can understand why it'd be different from SMV to girls, but how's it different for guys?

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS61 points62 points  (9 children) | Copy

See if this helps.

Men Low SMV High SMV
Low RMV Orbiter, Incel Chad, Alpha Fucks
High RMV Beta Bucks Monogamous handsome millionaire or Celebrity
Women Low SMV High SMV
Low RMV Town Bike, true Femcel Club THOT
High RMV Faithful plain Jane Faithful w/model looks

[–]VigilantSmartbomb2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This deserves plat, first time ive said that too

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Appreciate the sentiment much more than the actual throwing of money at Reddit.

Spend the money on you, and make an account at TRP.RED for free for the day we migrate over there, if you like what you're reading.

[–]Nis_law0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I don't agree with the women's table cuz its missing one essential aspect : the n count. Number of past sexual relationships have a huge impact of long term relationship value regardless of smv. A plain jane is usually the one who is slutty and unsuitable relationship material.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's implicit in faithful. You're missing the utility of the chart by sperging out on the details. Each archetype succinctly depicted here has many posted articles detailing it further.

[–]Nis_law1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Except plain janes aren't faithful. Faithfulness largely depends on the male's behaviour. Faithful plain Janes is an oxymoron.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice!

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First time I've ever been on the right! Thanks :-)

EDIT: Good edit ;-)

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do we call a girl who aggressively seeks sex? A slut. Why? Because women are the gatekeepers of sex... a girl who has to chase it, instead of accept or reject it, is clearly broken.

Men who chase relationships, same thing.

Once a woman has worked her tail off, and actually charmed you into wanting one, then you can show enthusiasm about a relationship with her.

But if you are visibly enthusiastic about just "a" relationship, then you look needy and weak. You have to make them work for it.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your explanation was pretty logical and objective.

Thank you for commenting.

[–]livear1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she have reason to be ashamed of you? Would her family or friends judge her harshly for choosing you?

[–]GucciGangBucks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you want a relationship? You got the prize. Move on.

[–]jm510 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The problem is when I try to escalate to something as relationship they step back.

Stop trying so hard. They prefer to win a prize rather than be given a freebie.

While moving towards a relationship at her pace, you should be vetting her hard. In alternative universes, you are slowly becoming unhinged because you entered a relationship without carefully vetting her.

Think of those that stepped back as bullets dodged.

[–]danakdakdnakdn0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

What’s your advice if they are “ghosting” after a bang or two. Currently in college and usually don’t end up trying to bang more than once or twice as I usually meet a new chick every time I go out. However, the few times I’ve tried to hook up with a girl I’ve been with before when I don’t have as much time to go out, they don’t respond or seem not about it. Same goes for if I’m at a bar and go up to talk to a girl I’ve been with just to be friendly and they usually walk away in a few minutes. What does this mean, I’d like to start plating more girls as getting a new girl each week is probably not good to continue as to not risk STDs

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

A quality wingman could probably give you specific advice with 15min in person observation. I'll do what I can over the internet here.

  • The sex isn't satisfying to them
  • Your aftercare is shit to nonexistent
  • Your gaming, banter, and push-pull runs flat quickly
  • Your personality becomes abrasive over time

I am thinking of the way customers interact with my friendly shop cat. Some people engage her effectively and she'll try to climb into their lap or purse. Other people do things like fold her ears, jam her whiskers, and pet her against the nap of her fur, while ignoring her body language and signals that their touches aren't pleasant, then wonder why she nips at their hand before absconding to the back office. The point of this is, getting a woman to want to come back to your bed is like getting a cat to want to be petted by you.

Men go wrong by expecting them to behave loyally like a dog, but this is a model of male beta orbiter behavior, not female wants-to-fuck-you behavior.

[–]danakdakdnakdn0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

While those last two might be the case, often times they’re cold to me before I even try to spit game again so I doubt it. It seems much more likely that the issues stem from the night I had with them. I’m thinking it’s probably non-existent aftercare as I don’t even know what that refers to lmao. I’m guessing you mean how I treat them after sex - typically I’ll leave in the morning and not really try to keep up communication. Appreciate the insights

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m thinking it’s probably non-existent aftercare as I don’t even know what that refers to lmao.

If you want "repeat business" study up in this area. Indifference game won't get or keep a relationship by definition. u/Whisper was talking about this recently. I suggest you binge read his posts starting with this.

[–]Best_coder_NA24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy

How old are you? At some ages (18-25) girls just don’t want to settle down

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

Im 30

[–]thrwy754797 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Generally, how old are the girls? And, where are you finding them?

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Girls are (26-30). Normally I meet them on the street.

[–]thrwy7547917 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's the longest you've seen a girl without any hints of commitment?

Also, where on the street? Is it alleyways behind bars? In front of clubs? On a school campus? Is it in front of libraries? Is it during the day or at night?

[–]Eswirdgutsowieso1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like...prostitutes?

[–]FineCopy2 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

HYPERGAMY

[–]Project_Zero_Betas11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's either this or OP just has a boring personality.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

A GF is just a plate who you keep seeing. Just keep banging her and occasionally do something more "couple-y" and she'll bring it up on her own.

[–]mryoudontknowme3687 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

They probably don't think you are good bf material. You're too vain, or too stupid, or you ramble on annoyingly, or insert x.

Think of all the hot women you would sleep with but you wouldn't want a relationship with, or hell even want to be around for more than 10 minutes lol

If you can get ahold of any of your past hookups maybe just ask why they wheren't interested in a relationship. Their answers might be bullshit, but if any actually talk about your personality those are probably the truth.

[–]Bored1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Him asking that will probably make them more intrigued.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

You don’t need an LTR to be happy + draining money out of your wallet (imagine how much money you spend in a relationship in 1 year), Save up that money to invest for a better future. Plate them, gain experience and have fun, you’re still young

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Im 30 so I don’t think Im still that young.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

That’s still young. Don’t follow societies standards pushed by mainstream media or family, friends pushing you to settle down so soon.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the support.

Anyway, do you see wny reason for this to happen?

[–]IWantAllYourMoney 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

How old are you to say 30 is still young? You must be older than 30, or approaching 30 at best. Let's be real bro. At 30 you've fully grown biologically, physically and mentally. It's not old but it's not young either. Also a lot of guys have started balding at 30.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd personally consider 50+ old

[–]DonJuan_693 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Same problem here bro. Do an introspection and find out how you really act around girls.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

What was the conclusion for your case?

[–]DonJuan_6918 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im too cocky and arrogant at times. Im also not a good listener, i tend to interrupt and talk about something similar that has happened to me. I realized this when i broke up with a Hb9 because all she would talk about was about all the guys that were after her and how better she is than other girls. After nexting her i became aware that I exhibit those same traits.

[–]KingOfPomerania3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

How is this a problem?! LTRs are not good for men. If you're getting regular sex then embrace it and forget about relationships. Trust me, you'll be happier in your current setup than you ever will be in a LTR!

[–]Casanova-Quinn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My guess is you're acting too much like a "player" around these girls. You have to give them at least a small amount of "nice boyfriend" behavior so they aren't worried you'll leave or cheat. But remember, you need to wait for her to ask for a relationship so she is the "chaser", not you.

[–]imtheoneimmortal1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Probably they got red flags you aren’t relationship material

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah but what are those red flags, that's what OP is asking

[–]imtheoneimmortal-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So he has to “”fix”” the red flag he got if he wants relationship

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you've done a great job at being the 'alpha fucks'. Women see you as ONS material and not as a boyfriend. If you tweak your game and add a little comfort/beta mixed with the alpha you would probably do better with it

[–]Nis_law1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm curious, why do you want a relationship with all these women?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alpha fucks; beta bucks.

Women have a dual sexual strategy.

On one side they seek a man for the sexual excitement, the arousal. Instinctively, they crave the seed filled with the genes that arouse women.

On the other side, they seek a man for his providing capability and the wilingness to do it. Instinctively, they crave the security that a man will be at their side when they’re at their most fragile (pregnant, then with young child).

The two strategies are mostly mutually exclusive. The man who arouse all women who cross his path will not be very dependable.

In other words, you’re displaying too much alphahood. Girls seek you for sexual arousal but you do not show enough cues of being dependable, caring. You may be too good-looking for them to trust that you will stick with them on the long-term. The cocky assshole game you may be using that make them so wet also makes them think you will stray at the first occasion. You’re prime fucking material, which makes you terrible marriage material.

Additionally, girls nowadays provide themselves (with help from the govt) so their need for beta providing is somehow lessen. Why get stuck with a beta provider when you can provide yourself and that this will only prevent you from fucking the occasional alpha stallion?

To all my readers, if you still believe that « beta » means total loser, and « alpha » means total winner, you have not yet understood the sexual strategy of women. If you strive to be the ultimate alpha, you will most definitely struggle on the relationships side, as OP illustrated.

[–]WiredT3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

“i get girls laid” automatically now suspicious by the way this was stated😂

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

Dude, im not an english native speaker.

You can switch your inspector gadget mode off

[–]WiredT2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It was a joke don’t worry no one thinks youre not getting laid

[–]SerialATA_Killer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where from?

[–]BittyMitty0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It also depends on the girls you are seeking.
Maybe you unconsciously go for girls that don't want a serious relation.

[–]Noctis_Cloud0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Think about the long term purpose of having a relationship. Does it provide security for your emotions? Is there a reason you want a LTR?

Secondly, you might be looking at yourself a bit too much. Maybe your not doing anything wrong, there’s a chance these women just don’t want to be in a relationship (and honestly you can’t blame them). If you are successfully fucking these girls you are obviously doing something right. I wouldn’t worry too much if that’s the case. When you find the right girl, you will click together like the Golden State Warriors. If it’s not happening, don’t put it all on yourself, Just keep going and let things happen. You don’t want to force a shitty relationship.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP... why are you worried about being in a relationship when the sex is coming at you regularly?

let her ask about relationships... you should be avoiding them, or at least ACTING like you don't want them.

if you're under 28, just stop. have some damn fun and enjoy your youth.

[–]Sin-Silver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like your to dependent on the idea of a relationship, which is understandable. Just enjoy your time with them to the fullest, and don't push for a commitment. If things are going to escalate, then it should happen naturally.

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Build a real connection, you don’t learn that on trp.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The last girl I had a super connection. And it still wasnt enough...

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then you also need her to look up to you.

[–]Bored0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you try going towards a relationship, do you start behaving significantly different?

[–]beachbbqlover0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Do you talk like this? With short sentences. Only ever saying enough to get it done. Never more than that. Not very elaborate. Not intriguing. Not descriptive. No questions left unanswered.

You may be suffering from having the personality of a rock. Lacking the intrigue, personal skills, seductive nuance, and simply relying on being physically fit to overcome your shortcomings.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Dude, you are easy judging me over a simple text that I wrote while I was rushing on this busy day of mine.

Calm your tits

[–]beachbbqlover1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

shrug just trying to suggest what might be the problem. :p

Edit: seems I hit the nail on the head. Perhaps compounded with passive aggressive anger issues.

Welp, whatever.

[–]innerspeaker88[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Again easy judging.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

fyi you need to chill, you seem to be pretty passive aggressive in all your responses here.



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