When to cut losses, how healthy Male would respond

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May 14, 2019
8 upvotes

Alright I'm (m37) new to this reddit thing and to this entire nmmng lifestyle. I say new to it as I am now getting an education as to the proper way to go about it. I have always considered myself as a strong masculine person however prior to reading some of the materials mentioned here I made some glaringly obvious mistakes. I take full responsibility for those and will continue to improve on them.

Pinned cut the shit questions Height/ weight/ BF% 6'0"/ 204/ 15% bf Lifts I dont max and have not for years as I would rather teardown and build than cause injury and miss a day. But currently on a cutting 4 day split with moderate cardio on off days. Dumbell shoulder press 55×40 dumbell bench 90×36 followed by dumbell rows 55×36 ,pull ups followed by dips 3×15 each, curls currently down to 35×40 from 45×40 due to elbow injury building back up slowly, deadlifts 225×40, Romanian deadlift 225×40, leg press 250 ×72, squats 185 × 20,18,15,12,10 stack,admitted leg days lifts that strain back are weak as fuck i have serious back issues that I nurse like a baby, leg extension 75×40 followed with leg curl 75×40. 20-30 minutes of rower on upper days 15 min hitt training on leg days. I switch back and forth between cuts and bulk every six months. Bulk weights are significantly higher with lower reps. Books Nmmng, 3%man, unfuck youurself, wisnifg,communication miracles. Testosterone levels have not been checked I did not think they were bad as I can still murder iron and recover nicely still eat and not put on the weight. But since this is suggested I will be making an appointment. Initations vs rejections I would say about 50/50 my game is more caveman in approach and need work admittedly Women I could call and chill this weekend One Last flirt beside wife Mollie Actively gamed on wife in last 15 days Poor show here maybe at best 5 times Makes me a good catch I am in fantastic shape, I can do anything in the mechanical or fabrication environments (fix anything), Usmc veteran, I portray security and confidence in my everyday life, cool head under stress, I'm a fantastic father of my two boys. If I did not have a wife and kids I would lift , shoot , go fish at the lake or go hunting same as I do now. Dread level is 1 and some planning as in 2 this is a new theory to me I am currently an attractive man with options

Current situation: My spouse an I have been to three separate counselors, two of which she refused to attend anymore. the third I have made a condition that she attend. I have worked on many of my own failures such as initiating date night, positive perspective and feedback, and positive affirmations to her. Most of these have been met with negativity, probably shit testing. In the meantime I have been dealing with a drunk, drinking before work, drinking and then driving children to buy more to drink, then add in some physical violence and drunkin biligerant behavior , and just all around bitchy behavior. I have suggested that she seek help to quit the achool with no success. I have begain to address and call out bitching and biligerant behavior. These actions have gotten me no where so I stfu and lift, work on myself. This process has been ongoing for just about a year and a half.
As I am new to this nmmng, red pill thing. I begain to look at my actions in an attempt to see how my actions may cause the situation to be worse or if my actions can improve the situation. My question is at what point do you cut losses? At what point does the relationship become a toxic one? At what point does the endangerment of the children become to high risk to continue to try and repair the problem?


Post Information
Title When to cut losses, how healthy Male would respond
Author SchulteA
Upvotes 8
Comments 65
Date 14 May 2019 04:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/238366
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bolaou/when_to_cut_losses_how_healthy_male_would_respond/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
WISNIFGtestosteroneshit testliftgamethe red pillNMMNG
Comments

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

The good news is you are in the right place, the bad news is it will get worse before it gets better. The best news is that this will resolve one way or another, and after all this, the mistakes you made in the past that led you to this point will be a footnote in history, never to be repeated.

[–]Redpillbrigade172 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Wait, you let the mother of your children drive your kids around drunk?

[–]SchulteA[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

This took place last week. As a result I have contacted an attorney got together a file of evidence proving her endangerment and have it and the retainer ready to deliver to the attorney. The even took place when I told her we needed to get out shit together and cut the drinking out her response was to drink the remaining six beers she had and then drive to the store to buy more. This is my line. I do not see that being something that can be overlooked.

[–]hystericalbonding4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You answered your own question here. Document everything.

As far as the shit tests go, the counselor tells you to do something, you do it, and the wife gets mad. This means:

  • these niceties don't address the underlying problem with a codependent husband and alcoholic wife

  • even if you genuinely want to do these things, she believes it's because the counselor told you to do them

  • she's an alcoholic

  • you can't fix her. You need to own your shit, but you can't own hers.

Forget couples counseling. You could both use individual counseling, though hers will probably need to be longer-term.

Are you involved with alanon? It's much of the same rhetoric as MRP. Stop being codependent. Establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Don't DEER/JADE. Build a life separate from your wife. Protect the kids. Etc.

She'll get on board or she won't. I'm guessing the latter.

[–]SchulteA[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I need to study on the DEER/JADE what resources go into explaining these?

I have not contacted alanon. I would really like to find a mens group similar to this in the Texas panhandle if you know of one or how to find one please let me know.

I am getting that counselors are not going to work because the suggestions are made from the therapist and therefore are not considered relevant because I didn't present them he did.

I have been to a therapist through the veteran affairs for many years dealing with PTSD. Really just figuring out how to deal with it not so much eliminate its presence.

Seperate lives are definitely here and no inhave not been successful in getting her instep with mine at all

[–]hystericalbonding1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

DEER is from No More Mr Nice Guy. It's an easy start. You picked an alcoholic wife for a reason.

JADE is from alanon. Tends to be mostly women attending. They supposedly have resources for families who may be entering into court proceedings with their alcoholic family member, and they also have stuff for kids.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.02 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

OK I can give you the standard keep lifting and read the sidebar but first lets address the elephant in the room.

drinking and then driving children to buy more to drink

This is a hard fucking no man. You have the singular job of protecting your kids from this negligent level of fuckery!! Seriously if you do nothing else you need to nip this shit in the bud immediately. Let's just say hypothetically your peach of a wife slams into another car on her way to get more booze and kills either your kids or someone else's while drunk. Let that sink in. Even if she doesn't kill your kids and the cops find out you let this slide, welcome to a custody hearing. Fuck your marriage and your cunt of a wife, get this shit in check. You can't force her to go get help but you can get your kids and walk or at a minimum keep them from this situation until she decides to get her shit in check.

t what point does the endangerment of the children become to high risk to continue to try and repair the problem?

Now, the answer to your question is now.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you sir, i have been thinking about that very scenario. I suggested that she check into rehab if she wanted to continue the relationship. Told her it's her call and that I expected to hear what she decided. She has refused to commit to professional help yet again. I see this leaves me no choice but to protect my boys and go file.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

the third I have made a condition that she attend

You can't force someone to benefit from therapy. They have to want it. You're wasting your money.

Drunk driving with the kids in the car is something you need to create a clear boundary around. Zero tolerance.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Yes I would have to agree, you can't make someone get help, which answers the other issues as well.
The sessions have been nothing but a point of contention anyway.

The driving while drinking is the first incident that she openly admitted to.

Like I have said I am VERY new to this entire approach. I also understand that just by putting up with this shit as long as I have is a problem. Every one of the books I have been reading point to the only option would be cut out a toxic relationship and move on. I wanted to ensure that I'm not overlooking something that I should be doing or someway I should be behaving.

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Examples like your wife are why we say, "The 'stay' plan is the same as the 'go' plan."

You can not fix your wife, for a host of reasons, and going to multiple couple's therapists is Einstein's Definition of Insanity... doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.

First and foremost, fix yourself and nobody else. Why?

  1. Because you are worthy. At some level, you believe this because why else are you here? You want your life to be better than the present hell it is.
  2. Personal accountability is within your sphere of influence.
  3. You are maximizing your effort towards somebody who wants to be fixed.
  4. You will directly reap the benefits of your efforts.

[–]SchulteA[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Please explain the stay plan is the same as the go plan

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's as simple as it sounds.

It doesn't matter if you're staying or you're going, always work on you.

It doesn't matter if your marriage is salvageable, always work on you.

It doesn't matter if your wife chooses to follow your lead or not, always work on you.

Always work on you because there is nothing more powerful than an abundance-minded man who has value, options, and knows it.

There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who he is and what he genuinely merits. There is only the Man who improves his circumstance for his own benefit, and then, by association and merit, the benefit of those whom he loves and befriends.

That’s the Man who Just Gets It.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to work on yourself. That's the only one you can change and improve.

Whether you stay or leave the marriage, maximizing your attractiveness, gaining stoic confidence, having a life outside your marriage, are all things you need to do.

Either way, you're the best you.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

MRP would dictate that to un-fuck yourself (and hopefully your marriage along with it) you need to put in a minimum of one month of work for every year you've been with her.

You've got the fitness part locked down, but you have zero frame. You are living in her reality.

Keep lifting, read all of the sidebar books, watch the Blue Pill Professor videos on Youtube.

When your wife finally bottoms out with the drinking (probably a car wreck, DUI, or being served divorce papers) and WANTS to give sobriety a shot, give her a copy of This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, it is a game changer.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent thank you

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Listen, dipshit: Don't fucking let your wife drive your fucking kids anywhere!!! Wtf are you on about "file", "attorney" shit??? Either stop her physically or call the cops!!!!

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Listen fuck stain I didn't know it happened until it was said and done, and I had now way to prove it was happening until that time. Again we are talking about two weeks ago and shits already in order to get it delt with. What are ya gonna do beat her ass after you find out? The only thing you can do is tell her its unacceptable ask her to check into rehab and prevent the situation from happening again.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Sounds like you have more of a problem with setting appropriate boundaries and then enforcing them.

This is a balance of figuring out what you can control and what you cannot. If you set an unenforceable boundary you are setting yourself up to look weak and to not be taken seriously.

For example:

I have made a condition that she attend

Ok. And if she doesn't? Can you enforce this? How? Setting boundaries that get walked on is a sure fire way to look weak and invite more boundary breaking.

Look. She may never come around. It sounds like she has some issues with alcohol and sometimes these never get fixed. However, if you want to do this thing right you need to set some boundaries and have some actual consequences.

Your job will be learning how to setup proper boundaries that can actually be enforced. Too many dudes come in here and think they just need to say it more authoritatively or something. The only boundaries you can enforce are things under your control.

You seem genuine. Here is the sidebar.

https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/

Browse to it from a desktop and look at all of the stuff on the right side of the marriedredpill subreddit. It should keep you busy for a few months at least.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thank you, I admit that my boundries have been weak and unenforceable. I am currently working on how to properly set them

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Any advice on that would be greatly appreciated

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Start with "When I say no, I feel guilty".

It's in that Sidebar place.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am reading that one right now

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Document the alcohol problems. Go dry in her presence and never return home drunk yourself. Pour out any or all bottles of anything that is in your house.

Talk to an attorney.

Are you handling the finances?

Alcohol and substance abuse all can dilute any changes you make to yourself in a rp context. Can blunt changes and dread.

You're already swole with options.

But going to marriage counseling serves the female frame. Do you understand the concepts of shit/comfort/fitness testing enough (hit the sidebar) to know where your behavior is fitting into to all of this?

She's been drunk a year and a half what was the behavior like up to that point and for how long?

If the process is about fixing a marriage we don't do that. Our aim is to fix the man and as such a byproduct is usually the marriage so we go based on your mission, mind and debriefs.

Only you can decide if she's still a part of your mission or is now just an obstacle.

Again, if suddenly this shit happened and I was unable to stop it with an immediate and severe laying down of the law, I would start building a case to protect my kids and remove her as a danger (even in the face of a legal system that is designed to make this difficult) as best I could.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Ok so i have been documenting thing as suggested by an attorney and i have a significant amount of evidence to provide an attorney after that it's on a judge.

I do have achool in the house as I will have a burbon at night before going to bed. I understand this is not optimal

Finances are split directly down the middle and paid from a mutual account

But going to marriage counseling serves the female frame. Do you understand the concepts of shit/comfort/fitness testing enough (hit the sidebar) to know where your behavior is fitting into to all of this?

I do not understand this shit/comfort/fitness testing I will look at the side bar is there a specific article I need to read? Or maybe a link to it?

Behavior prior to drinking problem, she seemed to be a bubbly happy person wanted to be one of the guys. The drinking is blamed on me "I drink to be the same level of asshole you are"

I understand yal dont fix marriage. I'm interested in what I can fix for myself to improve the situation as I know that trying to change her would be a waste of time and money as stated above.

My foot down no tolerance of the situation approach does not seem to be gaining any results. Could be from unenforceable boundaries implemented. Could be from lack of follow through on those boundaries. I'm not certain. I have been building a case to help get my children out of the situation and as we all know the courts lean toward women. This has caused me to believe I needed a vast amount of data to prove my case. I do believe I have achieved that goal.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Start here .

You're already reading NMNNG which is good. Rational Male year 1 next.

If you're better at listening there are red pill youtube channels. The Red Man Group, Rollo Tomassi, Entrepreneurs in Cars, Terrence Popp etc.

Here the mileage is gained from posting on marriedredpill in the oys weekly post and posting about specific scenarios with questions on askmrp.

For askmrp the more detail you provide (up to a point, Chatty Cathys) on specific areas/scenarios the materials aren't clear or helping with the more cogent the responses.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Given his situation, I would argue NMMNG and WISNIFG are first, then TRM Year 1.

You can't understand Frame when you have no boundaries.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah, my thoughts for TRM is more for familiarization with rp in general.

WISN is good, it just seemed that he is saying no without guilt already... it just doesn't work as she is plowing through. We don't have a lot of details on interaction to go on there though so I am ASSuming.

[–]SchulteA[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I could go into a big long rant of details however I figured yall didnt wanna hear a bitch session. Let's just go for things I can do and steps to take to improve a situation where Alpha has let his shit go unchecked and needs to get his head out. Really I cam see that it's my shit. Not setting boundaries not enforcing boundaries.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Abbreviations are killing me guys what is trm? Wisn = when I say no I feel guilt

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The rational male. When I say no I feel guilty.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly what I was looking for!

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just because she has made and now resides in her own personal hell does not mean that you have to join her.

GTFO.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Guys of MRP, this man gets it.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alright in have audio booked most of the reading materials listened to two of them already and i just ordered hard copies as well so I can pick through them

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It's way fucking rare to actually see a man with most of his shit together sans wife walk in here. Kudos to you OP. Keep getting swole.

Gents of MRP - it looks like we finally might have one motherfucker in the last month worthy of help and I'm pretty sure this fucker is it.

He's seeking knowledge in the right ways.

OP - pour out the bourbon as suggested. Quit drinking. Lead by example, you're a Marine. Document everything. You can pull the trigger on this shit anytime, but stay calm and be aware of your target.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yall think that the work to improve can actually fix the marriage? Or is it wasted on her and just improve for the next chapter in life? Enforce unenforceable boundaries, or realize you created un enforceable boundaries create realistic ones and try again?

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yall think that the work to improve can actually fix the marriage? Or is it wasted on her and just improve for the next chapter in life?

We don't fix the marriage, we provide the man with the tools to fix himself.

When a high value, abundant, authentic man is living on his terms, a marriage/relationship is nothing more than a perk for a well-executed life.

Enforce unenforceable boundaries, or realize you created unenforceable boundaries create realistic ones and try again?

You enforce the boundaries you can and throw away the ones you can't.

A man understands his limitations and does not show weakness by creating boundaries he can not enforce.

You have urgent, present, and enforceable boundaries. The safety of you and your children. Focus on those and then adjust as necessary.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In general red pill is all about fixing yourself.

If I'm reading your post correctly, it sounds like your wife is a lush who is drunk driving with your kids in the car?

I love Allen Carr's books. Easy way to control alcohol or Easy Way to Quit drinking. If she reads it she'll almost certainly cut way back or quit drinking entirely. Wouldn't hurt you to read it too. I think it's less than 10 bucks on amazon. Don't have to talk to anyone about your problems, don't have to go to any meetings, don't have to admit you're an alcoholic. Find a copy of the book and give it a shot. (What have you got to lose?)

In this particular situation, while fixing your own problems will only help things, wife has got to get her drinking under control before she kills somebody.

I wouldn't drag her off to any counsellors. I'm not a huge believer in rehab either. To really quit she has to realize for herself that booze is not doing her any good and that it's fucking up her life. It's a "lead a horse to water" situation. Seriously, get a copy of Allen Carr's book. Good luck.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the pointers gents time for a gut check

[–]tap09885340 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm noob here and not a healthy male, but I am largely responsible for driving my wife to excessive drinking. This was because I was cruelly dedicated to being nice all the time and it made it so she couldn't stand me, but being devoted, she made stuff tolerable for herself by getting pickled every night, and I didn't fight too hard, because it was the only time she seemed to be able to like me (drunken tantrums and hi-jinks aside).

In the short term you definitely need to stop the child endangerment scenario from ever happening again. The courts will view you as a complicit enabler who is unfit to parent if you fail to prevent this from happening. Your children will be taken from you and possibly turned over to the worst hell you can imagine for them. A car accident may only involve damage and injuries, but many kids don't ever recover from being in a group home.

But in the long term there is definitely hope. Alcohol is a powerful depressant, and sustained use fucks up your hormones, brain, and liver function. While she is in this crazy distressed and depressed state, she isn't herself, she is an out-of-control tyrannical child.

You should leave butthurt mode and parent her. If your three year old throws a rock at you or slaps you and then starts sucking down a bottle of jack daniels, do you go nuts stewing in the corner about how sad you are that he was physically violent with you? No. You say "Don't throw rocks." with authority. You take away the whiskey, and you send him to the corner or to bed.

If she goes full rage mode and starts attacking you with knives or trying to inflict serious injury then you've got a more serious problem. If she has daddy issues then its quite possible that she is just desperate for the safety of a man establishing boundaries for her.

Also I would get rid of your bourbon until this thing has seen its course.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Ok so first off I dont buy the whole she drinks because of me shit. Not in my situation or in yours. People dont make you do anything your choice is your choice. However I can say that the story there sounds familiar. It's all excuses. I married a drunk cause I was a drunk. I got my shit together after kids and she didnt now I live with a pickled 14 year old mindset. My fault stupid decision during stupid time.

[–]tap09885340 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Every situation is unique. But as an epic beta, the only times I was ever direct, assertive, honest, or fun was when I'd had a few. That coupled with her alcohol-related reduced levels of sexual caution, meant drinking was the only way I got laid, so I was always encouraging the booze to flow. However, when ever she had to deal with bad mojo, or wacky hormones, she would dive into the bottle to medicate, as soon as some bad behavior manifested, I responded by getting super uptight, needy, and whiny, and stopped drinking with her entirely, and by proxy of my nice guy persona, this meant I was never direct, honest, assertive, or fun, which sent her back to the bottle to escape me as a naggy beta scold. While I recognize that I didn't make her drink, I did make her want to escape from her life by making myself criminally unattractive, and drinking was just the vehicle she chose to make her life feel bearable. I've done similar shit and immersed myself in video games to the point where real life felt like a cheap imitation. But people dive into all sorts of dopamine generators to escape the shitshow of their marriage: slot machines, facebook, it can be anything. Alcohol just tends to have more severe outcomes.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can see that played similarly in this situation. However I do not do the gaming. Not that I dont play them but let's just say I have old outdated systems that really only get played by the kids and dad joins occasionally. As far as making myself unattractive I can see that nagging her to stop the booze could do that, and I have talked to her about the drinking on several occasions. Physically unattractive though I dont think so she has stated that she feels inferior when naked next to me or even embarrassed. Drinking to get laid I suppose does work but is not required in my situation she becomes hostile when drinking and if we do get past that part she gets the female version of whiskey dick and cant get her rocks off even after an extensive effort. Really the drinking is self medicating, I have been there, drinking to be able to sleep and deal with PTSD anxiety. Not to mention that service life tends to make animal house look like a Baptist church party. If you don't consider to look at the harm caused by it and get help to come with the issue other than booze then it becomes a problem.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are out of fucking line. Those boys need your protection from the alcoholic that increase the odds of their death over your needing pussy. Get your shit in order. Now

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alright gents things are in order I just finished getting all of my documentation organized video and audio organized and typed up real nice for the attorney. I finished that on Friday last week asked her one last time to attend rehab told her she needed to quit for herself and commit to getting it done as of Monday (she works nights weekends as an er nurse) she has declined to seek professional help. Tha is to this group and help from my personal therapist I know that tomorrow has to be the day. I really appreciate all the help you guys have given me here. I know that improvement will he wasted on her and will continue my journey without her

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Howndoes divorce look?

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Attorney believes I have a good case and that there is a good chance if me gaining custody of the boys.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even in your miserable situation,you're slightly lucky. Go for it

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My question is at what point do you cut losses?

ahem.... now.

[–]RealityTastesGreat0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Best to see a chemical dependency specialist that specializes in interventions, not that interventions always work but it helps sort out enabling

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Unfortunately she has refused to accept any help like that

[–]RealityTastesGreat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No its for you. Interventions are primarily for the family. To find boundaries. Boundaries may affect what the alcoholic does, or not, but the alcoholic doesnt get to choose your boundaries

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So at this point I'm waiting for her to be served. Difficult for sure as she is playing very nice still drinking but playing nice cooking dinners cleaning house and making lunches. This tends to cycle apology and make things good phase is followed my tension building ( usually induced by achool), then back to another incident. This cycle has been repetitive and continues to escalate on each occasion. I know that I can not allow the cycle to endanger my boys as annoying as it is I can handle it but the boys certainly dont need to be witness to it and certainly not placed into a car after drinking

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So update i got that test check it turns out they are on the lower end of the spectrum not zero just lower end so we are gonna go do a bit of test injections get them. back up to a good level. While low test may be cause for some issues like not engaging sex as often as possible or not being as attentive. I still do not find the actions that where taken on her part to be a justified response. She is served tomorrow. I really hope that things can be maintained civil wish me luck

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Alright guys I need another Ass kicking. Spouse knows that I'm out and we are getting a divorce. At this point I know it does not really matter. However her response is basically to behave like an angel. Hasn't touched the booze and has actually been helpful in the remodeling of the house. Even cooking cleaning and fucking. So question is. Is this a damn crazy chick trick to play nice get me to call off the divorce and then she goes back to her old shit or do you think she got the message to get her act right?

[–]wallst070 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is the calm before the storm, real alcoholics do not turn a stone like this but it's possible. Keep the lawyer on standby get everything in order.

Alcoholics are also very good at hiding.

A kitten will purr every once in awhile and still scratch your face, AWALT.

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Guess what two days after I posted this she flew off the handle again came home to her drinkin and she ended up spending the weekend in jail on domestic charges . So kitten theory confirmed.

[–]wallst070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the update , I don't have a crystal ball, I just read TRP.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

At what ever point you want. With you I predict 6 more months. Read the main side bar

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I do not know how to find said side bar I'm new to reddit as you can tell from my shit format in the post. Can you show me how or give a link

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

On your screen go to mrp main page. It’s either on the right or in the “about” if you’re in an app

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Copy that

[–]FoxShitNasty83-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

This guy is fan-fucking fantastic!

[–]SchulteA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do tell I want to hear what I'm fucking up



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