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Low libido LTR

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May 16, 2019
19 upvotes

Hi, hello all,

I have been lurking here on this thread for a while now and this is my first post on the thread here.

I have been here for about a year and I finally come around to asking questions here that I didnt seem to find a definitive answer for in the books - nor did I find a relevant articla that could put things into perspective for me.

I dont want to go into too much details with regards about the relationship I am in since from what I have been reading here it really has been boiling down to men wanting better and more fulfilling sexual relationships with a woman and my story is no different than the others.

I have been with this woman for a while now - living together as well for a couple of months and she is someone I can see building a life together with.

My problem specifically boils down to her low libido and from an outside perspectice even the lack thereof.

Since the beginning of the relationship it always seemed to me that sex for her is not really a priority (there were times in her life that she went without sex - or self pleasure for years without problems) whilst on the other hand I am a real sex hamster and always have been.

I have been applying dread on her for the last 3-4 months or so with regularly hitting the gym, having a social life and generally taking up the mantle of leadership and being the men in the relationship - which she has been taking quite positively and reciprocated affection regulary - though in a non-sexual way.

What I have been missing - and this is not exactly something i have been able to fully internalize within myself - or even be able to specifically describe up until this point - is lets out put it this way - sexual desire/wantingness to be fucked at all.

Sure, we have regular sex and she gives me basically anything that I ask for - though I never feel that she is actually getting an enjoyment out of it.

And that is exactly my problem. I want to feel lusted for. I want her to be at a point where she is quivering for me to give her a good dicking but she either just doesnt have the sexual drive for this or has barriers that even she is unaware of that blocks her from letting herself enjoy sex and fully immerse herself in the act.

Based on my suggestion she has been seeing a therapist to have her personal issues sorted out by a professional (neither of us are from the states btw and what i get is her problems are deeply rooted in abandonment issues by her parents - she is half russian and at the collapsenof the ussr her mother had to go back to russia when she was little due to visa/ nationality issues and she got left here with her father causing her to feel unwanted/ inadequate in lot of ways)

What im looking for suggestions from you guys is this: 1) how should I have this conversation with her about this issue of mine without me making it sound like im giving her an ultimatum or pushing her intona corner like - you must start giving me better sex or otherwise 2) are there any materials that give guidance on the subject 3) would be interested in any anecdotal evidence/stories where you have encountered something similar.


Post Information
Title Low libido LTR
Author abratoki
Upvotes 19
Comments 49
Date 16 May 2019 04:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/238672
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bpesve/low_libido_ltr/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
leadershipdread gamehamsterlong term relationship
Comments

[–]SepeanRed Beret36 points37 points  (31 children) | Copy

As I said in your post: She might be fearful avoidant like my wife, I have a lot of experience with that. Like this https://jebkinnison.com/bad-boyfriends-the-book/fearful-avoidant/

If you’re going to follow my advice it is very important that she is actually fearful-avoidant and reacts to emotional intimacy and signs of affection by rejecting you, but if you go distant she gets fearful and seeks to get in your good grace again.

This is something I posted from 3 years ago, it's different now between us but for you I expect it still applies:

If you can get your wife to take this test http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl it will tell you.

If she is fearful-avoidant, you will likely have seen a cycle of you being nice which makes her mean which makes you angry which makes her nice which makes you nice, repeat.

If she is FA like my wife here's how I found she reacted to our level of emotional connection.

Intimate (not sexual): she freaks out and tries to distance herself or push me away, be mean, etc. It brings on a barrage of shit testing. Hugging, cuddling, stroking her hair, probing her feelings, talking lovingly, I had to remove all of that. I don't think you can ever really have that with an FA. Now I can be her oak and she will snuggle up to me and rest her head on my chest, but it seems she first had to learn that I will not respond by attempting more intimacy or emotional connection.

Not showing her any attention but doing stuff around the house/with the kids: This is probably the state she is most comfortable in. In MRP this may be the default OI behavior for her not living up to your standards, and women without attachment will become slightly uncomfortable and seek to regain some attention. An FA wife will not do that. To correct her behavior you will have to "check out".

"Checking out": I don't know if this is the right word, but this is how I think about it. You emotionally check out of the relationship for a period. Leave the house. Be selfish. Shift chores you'd do unto her. Hog the TV and watch stuff she doesn't like. You need to do this more often and for smaller things than most others. Make her earn her way back in your good favor. And don't be afraid to ramp it up - at this point the other end of her attachment issues begin to work in your favor. She will freak out more than women without attachment issues and be willing to do more to get back in your favor. Just be careful of not seeming butthurt since that isn't sexy, shoot for something more along the lines of her not living up to your expectations, so why does it matter what she wants. Down the line I had to stay "disappointed" for longer even as she tried to earn her way back in, because she seemed to get the idea she could be a bitch and then just fuck me when she wanted me back. For now, reward good behavior right away, but you may have to change tactics later to beat her girl game.

END OF OLD POST

This next section is what I wrote (well almost, edited a bit so it makes sense without his quotes) a year or so ago to another guy with an FA wife on how to get her to open up sexually:

Later she still had her insecurities that flared up when we got too close emotionally or the sex got too good, and she'd flip out on an avoidance trip. That's been the main long term issue to solve.

Along with the usual stuff, I had to get a lot more demanding, tell her exactly what I wanted from her, even if it was uncomfortable for her or required her to act, and actually pull up my pants and walk out during sex and go completely distant until she complied. This is not for low SMV, this is when you've established your alphaness and she doesn't doubt that your frame is rock solid and you're going to get what you want.

On general advice: build your SMV. Cut way back on affection and comfort. Be very demanding and dominant and enforce boundaries. Be very careful rewarding her with affection, it easily triggers her avoidance. Don't give in to her outbursts and try to placate her, but don't say shit like "I'll leave if you threaten to leave again" because she'll do it again. She will find out what to say to make you freak out and she'll hit that weak spot again and again. If you tell her what sets you off, she'll use it - don't tell her "never to say that again" because that's like handing her an argument manual. Go with AM, laugh at her and lay out her how reactions are so predictable. If she really oversteps the line, go full caveman angry, but no ultimatums.

And just so you know, once you have her submissive, her avoidance begins being a real fucking problem that the other guys here don't have. Submissiveness is very intimate and that triggers fearful-avoidants.

END OF OLD MESSAGE

That should give you a good starting point, and enough to test the waters.

Feel free to ask or tag me in future posts.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

https://jebkinnison.com/bad-boyfriends-the-book/fearful-avoidant/

Holy fucking shit, I think you just helped me strike gold. I think my wife is FA. That is one thing I hate about RP. We should talk about women because AWALT doesn't mean every woman is the same type of fucked up. You can do things to specific types of women and get better results. I feel like AWALT is used incorrectly. Mods have DMed me super helpful information about my wife that has helped me respond to her better. This comment is one of the most helpful I have ever read on askMRP. THANK YOU!

[–]SepeanRed Beret4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

No problem, man.

I think AWALT is a good concept, women are much more alike than they are different and lots of guys think their girl is some snowflake, but yeah some people read too much into it. On top of AWALT you will have quirks and issues that change it up, most of it in a minor way - something like fearful avoidant though has a major impact, though still it doesn’t fundamentally change how she works. It’s stil about SMV, frame, and game, she’s still governed by dual sexual strategy and hypergamy, even if there’s some dysfunctional behavior added to the mix.

Careful you don’t fall into the trap of thinking your troubles are just her FA. I’ve been there, guys here have called me out for lacking frame or SMV when the issue was really her FA - but there has also been times where I felt it was her FA and then it turned out that I really was lacking frame.

I know from a few guys I’ve corresponded with that my approach to it works, so tag me if you need input on something.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Much appreciated. Seriously though, I had been doing this approach with her on accident but it fucking works. Just being around her but busy and "checked out" triggers her hard. She was bitchy earlier, so I went full on aloof. Guaranteed later tonight she is going to be all over me trying to win back my approval. Before she left she gave me this look of "I know you are busy working, but I am so sorry for being a bitch and I hope you won't reject me. Please love me and don't leave me". She sheepishly asked for a kiss by rubbing my arm and looking down at the ground. She is so fucking cute when she gets like that. Then the cycle returns. I give comfort, cuddle, rub hair etc and she turns back into a raging bitch. If I stay cold, aloof and rude she sucks my cock in the middle of the kitchen unsolicited on mothers day when I didn't buy her anything. What a fucking crazy bitch.

Edits:

Now I can be her oak and she will snuggle up to me and rest her head on my chest, but it seems she first had to learn that I will not respond by attempting more intimacy or emotional connection.

Whenever I touch my wife she thinks I am going to attempt to fuck her. Even though I have been demonstrating that I won't reject her if she says no. I encourage her to say no if she doesn't want to and not getting butt hurt when she does. I failed this morning. I was trying to initiate morning sex, I got rejected per usual. I told her "I liked when you didn't wake up early and go to the gym so we could have morning sex." She responded with "You never initiate in the morning and you are busy working when I get home from the gym." which isn't even close to true. I shamed her for blaming me for her lack of sex drive. It wasn't a good move, I know.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I think it is a good idea to cut affection way down - none of that cuddling shit. She can snuggle up to your chest if she wants comfort, or other similar stuff where you’re her oak without you being “intimate”. She’ll feel much more secure once she doesn’t fear you respond to her doing stuff like that by being intimate back.

If she needs comfort, just do stuff on the house or with the kids - that signals you’re there for her and the family without triggering her avoidance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

She HATES when I try and cuddle her in the morning. I keep trying and she gets pissed. Probably why I never get morning sex. It all makes sense now.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Trust everything Sepean wrote if you truly think your wife is FA. My wife was and he helped a shit ton. You basically have to have zero needs for affection and be willing to check the fuck out of everything.

I stopped cuddling, hugging, holding hands and any type of affection. It sucked because I was codependent but it worked - I no longer need any type of affection. As for the wife - the more I pulled away the more she needs and craves affection and that translates into more and better sex for me. The nice thing is it’s much more natural for me now and I don’t even cuddle her after sex unless she comes to me.

The less you need her the more she needs you plain and simple. My wife knows I need her for two things - to feed me and fuck me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

We watched a YouTube video which outlines the attachment types and she self identified with FA. However upon taking the test she is PA. Maybe she has been shifting a bit or wasn't honest on the test. I scored secure but probably would have been dismissive last year because I avoided her like the plague and shut the fuck down.

I don't want her to think I need her for food or sex. I don't want to need her for anything in fact. I expect she feeds and fucks me though. I've been telling her that for a decade. Fill my belly and drain my balls, it's all I desire from you. Oh and I expect her to care for the house and kids because it's her job.

I have indeed noticed that the more I kill my codependent behaviors the more she desires me. So much more work to do, but I'm on the path.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Good call out on the need - I actually tell her I keep her around for two things but the words don't matter as much as the sub-communication does.

You would know the difference between a PA and FA - one would be super clingy all the time and would find comfort in closeness and the other would push you away. MRP tends to flip relationship dynamics and pushes wives towards the PA end of the spectrum so I wouldn't doubt she identifies as an FA based on her history but is starting to exhibit PA tendencies without knowing it.

The funny thing about all of this is that it really doesn't matter at all what she is what matters is you. Part of fixing a man the MRP way involves removing codependency and PA tendencies - frame, mental point of origin and OI basically solve those issue. Thankfully the plan to fix that is straight forward and in the sidebar - shit tends to sort itself out one way or another.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's true. Regardless of the flavor of woman, the sidebar solves the problems by fixing us dudes. I spent my whole marriage trying to change her and always expected her to stop behaving like a woman and become more rational. I am so grateful for RP because it finally allowed me to fix myself. I had no idea how fucked up an codependent I truly was, not to mention anxious and weak emotionally. Now that I am becoming her rock, she is slowly letting her guard down and becoming more feminine and submissive. It will only get better from here.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Fucking helpful as shit here coming from a dude married to an FA also.

Textbook script here bro on exactly the attachment style I see in my wife.

Thanks for this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Why didn't you tell me about FA? You have given me so much help but you omit this detail!? WTF bro

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Lol. Man, from what you've told me, your wife is not FA in the slightest. Didnt think it would help. Dont know your wife but from what you describe I would look into anxious- preoccupied attachment.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Gonna have her take the test. We shall see.

Edit: She is FA. She claims before married she was secure and then I ruined her. She lies. Im practicing solid STFU now while she says mouth words. She sent me this video in Jan. I didn't get it at the time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23ePqRkOKtg&feature=youtu.be

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You realize a lot of guys wives here are FA for a reason. Standard betaization in marriage - she won’t always be FA and odds are she’s right she was secure before.

The whole point of the dread ladder is to take an FA and turn them into an anxious preoccupied so they give you their best to keep you. I have a theory that the stages of MRP laid out by J10 were really about moving from an FA to an anxious preoccupied to a secure attachment. It’s all just attachment theory at the end of the day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You want them to become PA verses secure with dread? I assumed healthy people should become more secure and less anxious. She scored a 6 on anxiety, so it's still pretty high. I always thought my SMV was what caused her to think I was cheating but I guess it has a lot to do with the attachment style as well.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

J10 talks about this in the stages. When they move to a PA attachment you are merely flip flopping the power dynamic using dread. What the real goal is that two secure people provide value to each other because they want to - authenticity in both action and desire. The dread creates the power shift and then comfort sets them on a path to a more secure attachment style.

The issue is this doesn’t always happen and sometimes guys get stuck and the wife only fucks them out of dread not a genuine feeling of desire. We have seen this in a few field reports lately and not sure there’s anything that can be done differently necessarily as at the end of the day we are all human and have our own flaws and our ability to change varies.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The issue is this doesn’t always happen and sometimes guys get stuck and the wife only fucks them out of dread not a genuine feeling of desire.

I have wondered about this. I feel like fear of losing and desire are very closely connected, kind of how pain and pleasure are.

How can you tell if a woman is fucking you out of desire or dread? When I got home from a 4 day trip my wife treated me as if I cheated on her and it was like hysterical bonding sex. She obeyed every command and I pushed some boundaries pretty hard. It felt like intense desire but also on reflection "felt" like it was based on dread more than anything.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think its a fool's errand to think about what is going on in her head but other than that I haven't figured this out either.

[–]egc61 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well shit. You just handed out a nice little manual. I think the answer in dealing with my wife is somewhere between the posts by MitW and your post here. She is absolutely FA, which I didn't have a name for before right now. Found some minor success with everything MitW broke down for me once as well as his other posts. But she starts withdrawing after too much intimacy or trying to escalate too often.

Intimate (not sexual): she freaks out and tries to distance herself or push me away, be mean, etc. It brings on a barrage of shit testing. Hugging, cuddling, stroking her hair, probing her feelings, talking lovingly, I had to remove all of that. I don't think you can ever really have that with an FA. Now I can be her oak and she will snuggle up to me and rest her head on my chest, but it seems she first had to learn that I will not respond by attempting more intimacy or emotional connection.

Not showing her any attention but doing stuff around the house/with the kids: This is probably the state she is most comfortable in.

Could easily describe how I am right now. I had to dial it down and let her know I will not respond by attempting more intimacy all the time. Most comfortable when I'm ignoring her.

Till now though I haven't had a solid plan of "Check the fuck out entirely. Just removing some attention isn't enough." She would start behaving, I give affection back, she withdraws, confusion.

Your comment goes to show that even though 95% of the posts in askMRP are going to be trash, there is still value in checking. Think it might be worth you making a real MRP post about this? Several others seemed to have also found this really helpful.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, please post in detail about this /u/Sepean if you can. You seem to have found a golden opportunity to help some fellow mrp dudes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I second this. Please do a post for others. This shit is gold IMO.

[–]tspitsatgp0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That was super insightful. Was your wife always FA? Was it consistent or has it been stronger at some stages than others?

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, she was always FA. I doubt it something you can develop after childhood, and nothing suggests it can be cured.

It certainly manifests itself differently over time - sometimes it’s been an extremely negative effect, other times not so much. It is always there, it is more a case of if the circumstances and what you do triggers the fearful or avoidant response.

[–]tspitsatgp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see it’s relatively common from what I have just read. Makes sense. I think my wife has always been like this, it’s me who has changed. In fact it kind of highlights this feeling of insecurity I have had over the past year, it’s been striking because it was the same feeling I had for the first six months of our relationship. She would go hot and cold, come close and withdraw. But for the large middle chunk of the relationship I had a strong DNGAF attitude (passed shit tests, failed comfort tests), so her cycles didn’t bother me. I could see in her inter-personal relationships with other people that her behaviour bothered them (and stopped her from forming any new close friendships beyond those she made in high school) but for me I just ignored it, thinking that’s who she is. Which it is, but now I know... more.

[–]MightBeNiceGuy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, this is incredible.

I think my wife may be FA, too. I'm still new to this and still trying to develop my frame and wondering why my withdrawing attention doesn't seem to phase her at all. She does seem more comfortable when I'm around the house but not giving her any attention. This advice really resonates with me.

Throughout our whole marriage I've always been the one to be affectionate first -- hug, squeeze, touch. I know exactly what you mean how this causes her to push me away, be mean, and withdraw.

Fuck, this is a long, hard road indeed. Thank you for posting this.

[–]MightBeNiceGuy0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

This reply got me started on a reading binge last night about attachment styles. Now that I've read more into it, I think my wife is more accurately described as Dismissive-Avoidant rather than FA. She has this attitude that she doesn't need me for anything, is annoyed by my desire to be affectionate and intimate, and therefore withdraws herself from the emotional side of the relationship.

I'm really trying to persevere here and stick with the plan and continue focusing on improving myself, but I'm finding it harder and harder to imagine that my wife will ever love me the way that I need to be loved.

Thank you again for the insight here.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Be careful I thought my wife was DA and not FA - I’m sure you will have a blow up at her where you threaten the relationship and she will come after you like a dog in heat.

I got to the point where I told my wife I was done and moving on and I swear my cock didn’t leave her hand, mouth, ass, pussy for a damn week. That’s FA not dismissive avoidant - eventually she starts running a baseline of dread and that is where she stops slipping so far into the avoidant.

Right now it takes me 24 hours to reset my wife if she starts drifting to avoidant. She gets zero attention and mostly disappointed looks and she gets the hint.

You need to truly get to the point where you don’t give a single fuck and they almost all turn around at that point.

[–]MightBeNiceGuy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks. I think the plan is the same regardless of DA or FA or anything else. I need to start implementing dread and just not give a fuck about her. Maybe she'll come around like your experience.

I'm still early in this process but am planning for dread level 3 next month.

My problem now is that I am still giving her attention and affection even though it's not ever reciprocated.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

100% especially the plan stays the same - the only thing knowing the dynamic may do is help you to change yourself. I was in therapy so the therapist helped me identify that pattern and my behavior and worked on cues to change how I viewed situations. Odds are you are a PA that is why you are giving attention and affection because you want to know things are okay and feel good about yourself - so just knowing that dynamic might give you ability to change how you act and how you think.

When you step back and look at your previous behavior a year from now you will find it comical - my day being ruined because my wife wouldn't kiss me goodbye or greet me when she came home - fucking pretty funny now. Usually now the days I don't get those things its because I am being an asshole and by the end of the day shes wet and ready to go.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like too much trouble for pussy

Fuck that life is too short for this shit

There are plenty other non mentally deranged women

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

..to continue from the main:

Sex is the glue. Maybe all she can provide is Elmers and you want liquid nails.

We don't fix her. We fix guys.

I want to feel lusted for.

If you up your SMV, up the dread, and you don't occasionally get the enthusiasm your psyche is pining for... you never will from her.

Now how are her cards stacking up in this light?

After years.... kids ,legal binding and monetary entanglements?

I fully understand the ramifications and consequences of my actions

Maybe your head understands the premise , but without living it for years you never really will know the load on your back.

Whatever you do, don't settle if you are going to put in the effort to improve yourself.

Right now you sound like you are rationalizing your commitment.

What's YOUR map YOUR plan and why are we hearing so much about her? You're already dealing with a therapist for her.

How few women are there in your hamlet?

[–]BostonBrakeJob9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like FA is the new go-to rationalization.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Upvote for usage of the word hamlet. lol

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty common in my fiefdom.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let me see if I understand correctly, you’ve been lurking for a year and learned absolutely nothing?.

You’ve been together “a while” and moved in together “a couple months ago” and can “see a life together “.

With a women where you are already in low libido territory at a stage in the relationship where you should be fucking like bunnies.

The Fuck?

Let me spell it out for you. She’s just not that into you.

Run Forrest Run!

[–]SoloQueueXL8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn’t have low libido. She just doesn’t like you

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have been lurking here on this thread for a while now and this is my first post on the thread here.

Did you get lost on the way to the sidebar?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This thread is the perfect example of why MRP is a thousand times better than the main RP sub. Full of great information and every post isnt calling OP a faggot, which even if it were the case isn't helpful. Great looking out guys.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

And that is exactly my problem. I want to feel lusted for.

You're needy for sexual validation, which is unattractive and will quickly or slowly make her averse to sex with you, as happened with this guy.

I want her to be at a point where she is quivering for me to give her a good dicking but she either just doesnt have the sexual drive for this or has barriers that even she is unaware of that blocks her from letting herself enjoy sex and fully immerse herself in the act.

Most of the time, this means she's not really sexually attracted to you. In this case you'll end up in /r/DeadBedrooms. You should assume this. Sorry. Now run.

Very occasionally, it's some kind of psychological block, but you're not going to fix it, and neither is her current therapist. You'll end up in /r/DeadBedrooms. Run!

Rarely, she's actually on the asexual spectrum, in which case you'll end up in /r/DeadBedrooms ... unless you can completely overcome your need for validation, develop strong frame, OYS, and forever command her respect and affection, in which case perhaps the best you can hope for is something like this. You're not up for it now; it would take a massively long and hard effort to remake yourself into that person; and even if you should succeed, you end up with a satisfactory but mediocre sex life with an asexual ... You need a lot better reasons then you've given, and should be a very different man than you are, to stick with this woman. Run!

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

You're needy for sexual validation, which is unattractive and will quickly or slowly make her averse to sex with you, as happened with this guy.

He sounds needy and fat. Fat. Very fat. Obese even. I'm glad we call people faggots and request stats immediately here.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Who you calling obese???

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I was calling the guy in the deadbedrooms post obese. But now that you mention it, OP didn't list any stats and says he has been "going to the gym for a few months". My lifting buddy "has been going to the gym for a few months" and while not obese, he's definitely fat.

Me, on the other hand, I'm scrambling to get shit done, so I can be worthless for two weeks while I get in my final cut for the summer before it gets truly hot.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Weird flex but ok.

I guess you are right on the point that “lurking here for a while” and “going to the gym for a few months” isn’t something specific enough so here are the deets.

Have been actively following reading and mostly STFU on mrp for the last year. Have been regularly lifting for the last 5 years but due to a shoulder injury I had to stop for six months - only been able to restart with any weights since Feb - so yes, my benchs, squats aint that good what they used be (bodyweight bench, 1,5 bodyweight deadlift).

The reason I broke out of the stfu stage is this - I have been applying rp principles to my hb10 ltr girlfriend I wasnt getting the desired results I was looking for in the last 6,5 months in the bedroom whilst other areas have improved tremendously and I felt stuck.

What else would you like to know sir?

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Weird flex but ok.

Inside conversation I wouldn't expect you to know about.

my benchs, squats aint that good what they used be (bodyweight bench, 1,5 bodyweight deadlift).

If that's what your lifts were after 5 years of lifting and before injury, you should really consider getting your T checked. How is your body fat? Personally, I have noticed that as my BF% goes down, the wife gets more affectionate. The general consensus tends to be that getting ripped is for mires from other guys, but I haven't found that to be the case.

Not that you should be going heavy with an injury, you shouldn't.

to my hb10 ltr girlfriend I wasnt getting the desired results

Eh, 10 you say? I think you have some serious gf goggles on. If you really think she's a 10, I think you probably have scarcity issues. You don't have abundance, you think she's the best you are ever going to get, and that's obvious to her. Thus, she doesn't have to put in any effort. The top rated thread here sounds like a major cope to me. I'm glad no one said that when I was new, it probably would have cost me a year of progress while I tried to fix her instead of doing what I needed to do.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TBH - I never really focused on being able to lift more in terms of heavier weights. Interestingly couple of years back my interests have greatly shifted towards yoga where about 2-3 years ago I made a switch about yoga being the main source of excercise with weight lifting only completing it.

With regards to bodyweight % - I was around 10-15% last year. Not really sure where I am at now but I dont really give two shits. I am happy about where I am and am comfortable in my own skin.

Finally. She IS an HB10 believe it or not. It was not humble bragging but merely stating the fact.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

On the upside she is fucking you.

On the downside you aren’t dominant or decisive enough to really turn on her sexual cues per se’.

Women get hot for masculine, decisive, driven, dominant men that have a direction.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t marry her. Pretty simple. Is sex important to you? It’s not going to get better when you’re married... I can promise you that.



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