After the cry baby here took a shock from guys at askMRP, I decided to dive with all my mind and body into get a better version of myself.
Liftings are constant;
Wardrobe getting better (last weekend she told me: where are you going with shirt and shoes?? You look good.).
I'm feeling more confident using good looking clothes;
Breaking covert contracts.
Few days ago I've posted a cry baby puke that she doesn't give me sex.
Reading some new posts from the guys here, it's ALWAYS the same fucking thing.
I have in my mind that I'm cutting the umbilical cord from her.
Last friday post was a slip that I had.
I HAVE TO manage to avoid those slips. After all, take time to change things that were with me for 30 years.
I think it's part of the lesson.
Some thoughts that made me think:
This from u/LongRoad_518 . And all the comments there.
The very best is from here from u/Daddy_ThunderCock.
"I put her fantastic little pussy on a pedestal and would go to almost any lengths to keep my dick wet."
That's fucking ME. Or who I'm trying to quit.
I'm struggling to exit her frame. But I'm doing it. Day by day. Discipline. I've noticed that I was codependent of her pussy for me to feel masculine, I needed her pussy. After all, I was a SAHD.
I have to exit her frame. She sees me 1 mile (or more) away. She know all of my movements. I gotta put in my head that I DON'T NEED HER PUSSY.
On the other hand, I wonder if she's thinking like: "he's making those changes, but I doubt that'll stick. If stick, it's better that he file for divorce, not me". Really. I think that she'll do that. I dunno why...maybe I'm overthinking.
Last friday I tried to initiate. She was at bed, watching netflix on cellphone, OF COURSE...
Started to kiss her.
I noticed her tension. She avoided me so she don't fall into sex. It was clear that she wanted something...at least I thought. She said:
- What do you want?
After she said that "babe..." I simply kissed her in the forehead, went to my side of bed, grab my book (MAP) like nothing happened...I even said: It's starting to get cold, no?
She said: Yes, actually tomorrow will be a lot cold I saw in wheater.com, etc etc..bla bla bla
Few months ago I would be the butthurt baby with her for a week. Of course I got mad, since I've posted here...lol. I got mad simply because I needed sex. Any sex. Fuck someone. Period.
Next day I acted like NOTHING HAPPENED. Being fun, talking, etc. Coincidence or not, she made my favorite food for lunch.
I really don't know if in this period I should keep trying to initiate. I'm doing Kino...trying to kiss her more time, hugs, etc. but when I start, I instantly notice her tension. She doesn't want to fall in my "trap" (or should I say game?). She's resisting a lot.
I don't blame her, after all I was the little baby that needed validation thru sex back in the days.
As I was the SAHD, taking care of house, etc., she was working and earning money, paying the rent, etc. With some free-lances, I've payed some bills at home, but nothing extraordinary. And Since I was/am responsible for the finances, we didn't go out for anything, even a simple movie at cinema.
I think that her tension is actually that. Her "fear" of having to take care of things at home again, even I getting a job that pays lower than hers. I believe that since she's a manager at her job that she loves more than anything, she thinks/feel that she 's my manager too or have the "power" just like her job. Still, I don't blame her. It's my hole. I dunno if I could explain right (english isn't my native language as you can see), but looks like she's on the "edge" or "bridge". Like: "If I have sex with him, I'll lost power".
- This kind of tension tends to pass?
- For any of you guys passed thru this, how you guys maintain your head straight without sex?
Really, it's easy to say " Go lift, etc etc" but for me (and I think most guys), when I see a nice broad on the street, etc., arrive home after work and see the woman you married, you want to have some sex, no? Or simply go to bathroom and get a "relief'?