There is nothing like a group of married people—especially with kids—when you come into their circle with a younger, thin woman," he says. "It's a terrible reaction.
Women and beta men alike don't wan't you to be single and successful. This article I randomly found describes how men in their 30s-40s get shamed into finally "settling down"
It's 11 a.m. on Sunday, a time that during your single days was reserved for sex or the gym. But for your newly grown-up, coupled-up crowd it means . . . brunch.
Sex or gyms are for losers or young people anyway. Grown-ups don't need those things, they rather go brunching with their annoying 1 year old kid and talk about grown up things like buying a house or a second car.
Until he shows up—the guy who's never been married. He's late, fresh from the gym, and accompanied by a woman who's about the same age and build as the aspiring-actress waitress.
He's everything any men wants to be (in their 30s). Healthy, fit and successful with young women. But to the married man he's just a trigger to a cognitive dissonance. "He looks so happy, even though he's not married and doesn't have kids. While I need booze to help me fall asleep."
You used to envy this man. But lately that guy's beginning to seem—to you, your friends, and your wife—well, kind of creepy.
Denial, rationalisation, shaming. Coping with cognitive dissonance 101.
"These guys get labeled playboy, loser, commitment-phobe," says Carl Weisman
Women hate unmarried men in their 30s-40s just as much as men. "How dare him showing up with a good looking 20 year old model, while my tits start sagging because of the pregnancy and 35 years of gravity."
He's the alpha she craves but can not get anymore.
According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics, in 1980 only 6 percent of men between 40 and 44 had never been married; in 2008 it was 16 percent. But even though there are more of them around, men with long-term single status still have a hard time explaining their situation to potential dates, who see a guy entering middle age without ever having been married as damaged goods. In fact, a man whose marriage failed spectacularly tends to arouse less suspicion than a straight, still-single 41-year-old.
The divorced and court raped beta is somehow still not as much of a loser like the successful unmarried man.
Travis, 37, is a vow-averse management consultant in Baltimore whose singlehood is regarded with bemusement by his friends' wives because he has a 24-year-old girlfriend and takes trips to Vegas twice a year with married buddies.
What a loser. Having the time of his life in Vegas with a 24 year old girl.
"He has the misconception that if you're married it's a ball and chain.", his friend Toni, a 33-year-old stay-at-home mom, says.
But isn't it, though?
Besides, Toni adds, Travis "is the most socially skilled person I've ever met. He has no problem picking up the best-looking girl in the room."
"Why can't he choose meeee over those dumb 20 year old giiiirls :("
If the fortysomething unmarried isn't written off as being overly fussy or just plain weird, there is another label that he can find himself tagged with: gay. Travis, who is often teasingly called a diva by those close to him, recounts how five or six years ago a female friend said, "I really want to talk to you. Are you gay?" He laughs. "I was like, 'No,' and she's probably apologized for it 10 times since."
She can't comprehend why he would rather choose singlehood over being together with someone (her). So she does the easiest thing and accuses him of being gay.
I really recommend reading the whole article.
http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/marriage-and-kids/200808/stigma-of-the-never-married-man?currentPage=1
[–][deleted] (61 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 116 points117 points118 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]cascadecombo 25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Workchoices 9 points10 points11 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BrunoOh 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]1NPIF 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dazedandconfusedrp 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]3 Endorsed ContributorF9R 21 points22 points23 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Americano 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]3 Endorsed ContributorF9R 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bakbakgoesherthroat 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]I3luee 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SeekingAlpha 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SeekingAlpha 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]martypete 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IProbablyHaveEbola 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IProbablyHaveEbola 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]otiswild 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (16 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (12 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]IronSunglo 7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]1sailorJery 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1sailorJery 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Autosleep 5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]berluch 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1independentmale 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] -11 points-10 points-9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xantris 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aphrodite_ 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daredcan 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]qiang_shi 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gqtrees 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]gqtrees 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]gqtrees 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]gqtrees 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 49 points50 points51 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1Zanford 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Transmigratory 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]a_nus13 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FishFoxFerret 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TurgidMeatWand 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IProbablyHaveEbola 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]16 TRP VanguardTRPsubmitter 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IProbablyHaveEbola 12 points13 points14 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]FishFoxFerret 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]otiswild 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IProbablyHaveEbola 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]mainst 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1Nirvana24 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ehcadroj7 points8 points9 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]1independentmale 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IProbablyHaveEbola 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dorrog 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Elodrian 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Locastor 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1thrownaway_MGTOW 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aazav 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dicklord_airplane 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]reddiforlove 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Doctor_Mayhem 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dr_Wally 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sloopyMcLoop 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1Padre55 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]23490865243879526487 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link