Continue with kino or back off?

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-07-11T21:03:15+00:00

All you guys here and in OYS, especially to that guys post who I just approved, you need a lot more SHUT UP and GO TO THE GYM. That's all you should be focusing on. Shutting up. Going to the gym. Building frame. These are obvious problems here - second sentence, 29% body fat. You focus on that. STFU. Gym. Frame. This is where you live. You live right here, ok. No expressing yourself - not like that you don't. Reread the sidebar. She's saying don't touch me? You get back to basics. Go to the gym. Shut up. Don't be a dick. Recognize that you have a lot of work to go. Reset. She doesn't want to talk or touch? You smile, go do something else and be productive, you get a good night sleep, you wake up, you go to the gym, you track your food and stop eating crap, and you be productive.

Basic principles. Get to work.

johneyapocalypse · 2019-07-11T19:54:34+00:00

Keep going. Ignore what they say. Watch what they do. You won't see a response from her for awhile probably. It'll go from:

Neutral -> hostile -> neutral -> receptive -> her engaging. This will take months. Just keep going.

Anyhow, seems like you're making progress, so keep making progress. You ARE making progress, she's not the gauge of your progress, you are.

For context, my wife used to lose it when I'd touch her "you're perverted, you're like a rapist, you're sick, I don't like when you slap my ass". blah blah. Yeah now it's all playful.. keep being playful. It's fun.

I've put a pause on initiating sex the last week or so.

Don't do this. Initiate -> get rejected -> OI/DNGAF -> remove attention/time -> repeat.

Body fat 29%.

Until you get sub 20% you likely won't have too much progress. Sub-15% is the goal. Fuck this last 2% for me... seems harder going from 200->185 than from 265 -> 200.

RPeed · 2019-07-11T19:27:21+00:00

I was going to mock you for being fat but reading all the way through sounds like you’re having a decent stab at it. Albeit obviously faking it to make it at this point.

Just ride it out and either tease her about being a bitch or withdraw attention until you realize the world won’t end.

Then maybe start going out and enjoying yourself instead.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-07-11T20:11:11+00:00

You should put a sock in your mouth and deal with that 29% bodyfat. Zero progress will be made with you as a fat fuck.

Get some audio versions of the sidebar books, install myfitnesspal, and jump on an exercise bike.

Finish level 1 first.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-07-11T20:07:14+00:00

Continue with kino or back off?

Don't just continue, get better at it. Honestly, she wants you to, but women shit test because AWALT, but a quality man DNGAF. He teases her for being bitchy and comes in closer. He doesn't get butt hurt, he smiles with a shit eating grin. Being cordial is for divorced couples or soon to be. Husbands and wives are meant to be close, intimate, passionate. Get better at passing shit tests and at flirting.

I've put a pause on initiating sex the last week or so.

and

sleeping in the other room

You are operating in her frame yet. I know you said you stopped sleeping in another room, but if you are putting a pause on initiating "because of her" or sleeping somewhere else "because of her" or anything "because of her" then you aren't doing what YOU WANT, you are doing what SHE WANTS and not operating in your frame.

Tried to access married man sex life primer but my internet tracker blocked it.

What is this? Does SHE have an internet filter on your phone? Tracking website traffic? If so, she is your husband. I am guessing you've got a porn problem. First, stop looking at porn and masturbating, it's not good for testosterone levels, sex drive, performance, or for keeping frame. It makes you less attractive in ways women can't prove, but notice none the less. Just stop looking and remove your filters because you aren't a child.

RoccoPinkman · 2019-07-11T20:21:40+00:00

What is the point of kino if you are fucking gross to her? Are you hoping that by touching her more she is just going to want to fuck your fat ass all the sudden?

Pretend she is dead and focus on you my man. If a random woman wouldn't fuck you, why would your wife? At least with random bitches, they aren't keenly aware of you being a faggot for 16 years.

Devote your life to reading and lifting until you are fuckable, until then just stfu and keep your chubby sausage fingers to yourself.

hack3ge · 2019-07-12T13:50:45+00:00

Normally I’d call you a fat faggot and tell you to just STFU and lift but you didn’t come here and blow smoke up everyones ass and say how great you are so I’ll throw you some of my experience.

I got the same shit from my wife at the beginning. The don’t touch me, I don’t like that, I’m not that type of girl, etc. I was fat and not attractive and her actions showed it.

Your kino is needy as fuck and you are fat which makes it worse. I dialed all my affection back to purely sexual and not lovey dovey hand holding / cuddling - that shit is the woman’s job. I slapped her ass, grabbed her from behind and grabbed her tits, bit her neck, etc. I would do it once and walk away so it lingers - also dial it back to just a few times a day.

I know you are thinking if I kino then maybe she will want sex - doesn’t work that way if you aren’t attractive. It’s good to push and change your behavior as she has to see you are a man who wants to fuck but don’t overdo it and drop all your expectations because your butthurt shows a mile away.

For what it’s worth the woman who didn’t even want me to touch her a year ago got fingered in the kitchen while cooking dinner and was begging to cum and then got pinned down, fucked and tossed around later in the night, just like the night before and the night before that.

Put in the work and someone will fuck you - maybe it will be your wife.

ReddJive · 2019-07-11T21:41:48+00:00

4 weeks? Wow. That’s a long time.

No. It’s really not. You are getting impatient, you want to see gains now. You aren’t in fact it’s about to get worse becasue I am going to tell you to ignore her. Keep initiating. Keep keno. I never understood men who stop initiating with their wive or GF/LTR. You are literally conditioning her to not have sex with you or think about having sex with you.

HER: No I am not having sex tonight

ME (rubbing muh belly) ok but we are going to play sea monster and the damsel.

then walk off smiling and find something else to do.

So you’re fat. Check

Coming off a drunk captain streak. Check.

You have no Frame. Check

Believe me she’s thinking of sex. All women love getting fucked. Otherwise the sex toy industry would not exist.

she mostly gives me one word responses and makes it clear she doesn't want to talk or touch.

This right here is critical. Do you see it?

This is what SHE wants. OP, what the fuck do you want?

diceblue · 2019-07-11T21:55:46+00:00

My wife has hated the changes I've tried to make. Told me today to shove the love notes I've been leaving her up my ass.

I think it's working.

red-sfpplus · 2019-07-11T20:28:27+00:00

Body fat 29%. Lifting the past 4 weeks since starting mrp. STFU and building my frame.

Ya know faggot. You are the most manly faggot I have seen in these parts in a while. Not many people come in here and say they are 29% body fat. Somewhere, you clearly have a backbone and balls.

There might be hope for you. And that is all the kisses you get from me.

I've been trying to do kino throughout the day

Dude, you are a morbidly obese man who probably has significant body odor issues as a result of your insulin levels going up and down all crazy from when you stuff processed sugars in your face all day.

Unless your wife is equally gross, you are the bottom of the barrel. Any kino you get, any sex you get - you should be fucking thankful for. I cant even imagine what it would be like to be 29% and actually enjoy sex.

You need to ensure you have basic grooming down, and that includes cologne and deodorant. Make sure you brush your teeth and get all those fatty food chunks out of your mouth.

WTF is "day" mean? Why is your fat ass not at work? Do you WFH? If so, get your fat ass outta the house and to the Starbucks (no drink/food for you) and work there.

A few days ago she was saying "don't touch me"

Can you blame her? Here is a BF chart, look at the guy in the 30-34% range. That is you. Gross.

Your only, main priority right now is to loose weight and take whatever starfish sex you get. You are far to gross to wanna fuck enthusiastically.

Throw everything away in the kitchen, pantry and from your center console in the car. Go on Keto, now.

Keep kinoing her, getting what sex you can, and report back at Christmas time. If you work hard you can get to 20% by then and then come here and ask us how to kino your woman.

redninja77 · 2019-07-11T20:22:26+00:00

Damn glad I'm not in your shoes. That sounds downright hostile. Lot's of good advice you've gotten for how to deal with her. With that kind of hostility from a long term partner, just stay in your body and not in your head. Work out and move - nonstop. Shit if I were in that situation I'd be working out 7 days a week - fuck rest days or cheat days. Read the iron by henry rollins every morning and every night for motivation. Good luck.

throwawaybpdnpd · 2019-07-11T21:08:44+00:00

I think you may be trying too much for what your SMV is currently, which brings different results as if you were already there

You are on the right path though. You shouldn’t engage too much with her at this point, instead pull out all attention/time you put on her and put it on yourself

Lift weights
Do cardio
Eat well
Read a ton
Go out alone
Build your finances

Those are the 6 things I did and still do

0io- · 2019-07-11T20:37:24+00:00

Long road ahead going from 29% body fat to under 15%. You might benefit from Metformin. You should have your A1C checked to see if you're pre-diabetic or type 2 diabetic already.

If I were you I would keep doing kino anyway, fuck it.

Since you're going to the doctor anyway to have your A1C checked have them check your testosterone level and thyroid too. If you need additional thyroid or testosterone (and don't get it) it will make your body transformation a lot harder than it needs to be.

If testosterone and thyroid are good, just go whole hog with the diet and lifting, and kino as much as you want.

If testosterone and thyroid need supplementation, get on hormone replacement and then just go whole hog with the diet and lifting, and kino as much as you want.

You'll be (happily) shocked at how much better all areas of your life go when you start dropping body fat. Hang in there. You've got a couple of years of work ahead of you before you get where you want to be.

RPeed · 2019-07-12T07:24:33+00:00

Btw I made a post for the heavier gentleman here.

Up to you but I strongly believe you should be losing >5lbs a week at that size. Even 10lbs/week is achievable in the first couple of weeks. Sure it'll include a goodly amount of water weight. Who cares? Water has mass and you don't put it all back on in a smaller frame.

Check out "snake diet" as well as the links in that post.

CrazyLegs78 · 2019-07-12T14:38:25+00:00

OP- I was going to PM you, but I want any lurkers to read this as well.

Getting to know everyone here can sting at first. It's some wicked combination of being force fed the bitter truth and having to earn acceptance. So you cannot get discouraged or pissed by some of these replies. Understand that this is the truth, spoken by strangers that genuinely want to guide others to be successful.

Don't get discouraged! Use this as fuel for the gym. You can see results in 6 months of lifting I assure you. Most average men don't lift and have >25% body fat. You can be <25% in 6 months and closing in on intermediate lifts. This will get the attention of most average chicks around your age, which will motivate you to keep going. From there it's a positive feedback loop and you will be a believer. Accept that you likely didn't get to 29% quickly, and you won't get away from 29% quickly. It will take years of work and a lifestyle change.

My first gym log entry 7-JAN-2019 when I made lifting my top priority(After 2 months of choking on the pill and being a bitch) 265lbs, 32.3% BF, 105lb OHP, 187lb BP, 195lb Squat, 186lb DL-->that's 179.4lbs LBM and 85.6lbs fat.

Currently 250lbs, 26% BF, 148lb OHP, 253lb BP, 285lb Squat, 361lb DL-->185.2lb LBM, 64.8lb fat.

I'm not giving myself props, I'm trying to give you some motivation. I most definitely could have made faster progress, but I actively made decisions to avoid injury and not crash diet. I still look in the mirror and accept that I'm a fat bastard for now, but just yesterday I got hit on in the parking lot leaving work. She was no trophy, but that shit wasn't happening 6 months ago. You should waste no time in getting started, and don't let some of the harsh words here get to you--->FRAME.

RoccoPinkman · 2019-07-11T22:44:13+00:00

Learn strong lifts. Only 4 lifts to learn. And do them 3 days a week every week. Because your novice your lifts will increase rapidly at first. This at least will give you a moral boost. Even if your wife thinks your a faggot. Less chance of fuckarounditis if you keep it simple.

BobbyPeru · 2019-07-12T00:43:30+00:00

What kind of kino are you doing? Always start very light, and work up. I’m guessing you’re being to aggressive compared with beta bob 30+ % BF she’s used to. 4 weeks isn’t shit.

Cut out the BJJ for now and spend more time in the gym. Clean up your diet. Cut out sugars, processed foods... etc

Like everyone else said STFU and hit the gym. Don’t make it more complex than that (for now). You have a lot of work to do on both your physical and mental strength (frame)

mrpintraining · 2019-07-12T13:14:20+00:00

As many have said, getting the weight off should be #1 priority. Once I got to 15% and then slightly below (those last 5% are gonna kill me) my wife started looking at me like meat. I've said in other posts in the last 30 or so days she's made noises in bed I've never heard before and I've fucked her for 25 years now. Still not anywhere close to where I want to be, but she sure as hell isn't telling me not to touch her.

So right now google LeanGains and intermittent fasting. I don't know how old you are but I'm early 40's and I went from 240ish to 200ish in 3, maybe 3.5 months tops lifting 3x a week and very little HIIT cardio. Then it stalled, that's when I would go to u/RPeed s fast and painful diet post. I did PSMF for 5 weeks. It sucked. I also lost 10lbs and maybe 5% body fat. Now that I'm on a pretty standard set of macros (40P, 40C, 20F) at a decent but not crazy deficit I'm sitting here losing about a lb a week and this morning I'm down to 188. It literally restarted my metabolism. Well that and lifting 4x a week and conditioning/punching and kicking shit 3 hours a week.

So get to work. Give it some time. Be patient. But you probably won't have to be that patient to see some improvement if you're wife is generally not a shrew.

ChokingDownRP · 2019-07-13T10:01:55+00:00

You're early in your journey. Stay focused on lifting, eating right and building frame. In your mind, consider your wife gone...Do the things you'd do if that were the case. Start getting out of the house and spend time with other men.

As for her calling you a rapist, etc... Just realized this takes time. My only advice here is to not engage in these conversations, the most you can do is fog and be honest that you find her attractive and that you want to fuck her and often. Just don't be a creep. I'm curious what you consider kino - walking up from behind and grabbing a tit?

4 weeks is nothing, you can't expect any change from her until she sees that you're the prize (you're not at 29% BF). Keep your for on the gas.

Title	Continue with kino or back off?
Author	redninja77
Upvotes	17
Comments	64
Date	11 July 2019 07:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/245190
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cbzyud/continue_with_kino_or_back_off/