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Continue with kino or back off?

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July 11, 2019
17 upvotes

Together 16 years. Body fat 29%. Lifting the past 4 weeks since starting mrp. STFU and building my frame.

No sex for 3 or 4 weeks she's been mad. In the past when this would happen id get butthurt and eventually cave and go beta. I think she's expecting that to happen and just waiting it out.

I've been resetting each morning, staying positive, doing more activities by myself and with kids. Gym. Bjj. Taking over night time stuff with my kids and cleaning because I don't like a dirty house.

I've been trying to do kino throughout the day. A few days ago she was saying "don't touch me". She stopped saying that but she doesn't reciprocate when I touch or cuddle. I've put a pause on initiating sex the last week or so.

Trying to figure out if I should keep doing what I'm doing, initiating kino and talking to her even if she mostly gives me one word responses and makes it clear she doesn't want to talk or touch.

Or should I just pull back and stop trying to initiate for a whole and just be cordial.

I think I've rambod a little bit and I saw that mentioned a lot here that it's common for noobs to Rambo.

EDIT: Holy hell yall some tough-love-doling-out moffugers. I was initially surprised by all the "you're a fat fuck" comments but ended up deciding to lose this fucking weight - been tracking eating in myfitnesspal the past several days, on track to lose 1.5 pounds/week and going strong. Thanks guys.


Post Information
Title Continue with kino or back off?
Author redninja77
Upvotes 17
Comments 64
Date 11 July 2019 07:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/245190
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cbzyud/continue_with_kino_or_back_off/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
butthurtbetaframekinolift
Comments

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy

All you guys here and in OYS, especially to that guys post who I just approved, you need a lot more SHUT UP and GO TO THE GYM. That's all you should be focusing on. Shutting up. Going to the gym. Building frame. These are obvious problems here - second sentence, 29% body fat. You focus on that. STFU. Gym. Frame. This is where you live. You live right here, ok. No expressing yourself - not like that you don't. Reread the sidebar. She's saying don't touch me? You get back to basics. Go to the gym. Shut up. Don't be a dick. Recognize that you have a lot of work to go. Reset. She doesn't want to talk or touch? You smile, go do something else and be productive, you get a good night sleep, you wake up, you go to the gym, you track your food and stop eating crap, and you be productive.

Basic principles. Get to work.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy

Keep going. Ignore what they say. Watch what they do. You won't see a response from her for awhile probably. It'll go from:

Neutral -> hostile -> neutral -> receptive -> her engaging. This will take months. Just keep going.

Anyhow, seems like you're making progress, so keep making progress. You ARE making progress, she's not the gauge of your progress, you are.

For context, my wife used to lose it when I'd touch her "you're perverted, you're like a rapist, you're sick, I don't like when you slap my ass". blah blah. Yeah now it's all playful.. keep being playful. It's fun.

I've put a pause on initiating sex the last week or so.

Don't do this. Initiate -> get rejected -> OI/DNGAF -> remove attention/time -> repeat.

Body fat 29%.

Until you get sub 20% you likely won't have too much progress. Sub-15% is the goal. Fuck this last 2% for me... seems harder going from 200->185 than from 265 -> 200.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

While I think your feedback is generally sound I'd point out the following:

  • 16 years * 52 weeks = 832 weeks.
  • 4 weeks - as in "lifting the past 4 weeks since starting mrp" = 4/832 = .0048 = .48%.

+

  • 29% body-fat.

Hence:

  • < .5% = (trying to) be a man, versus...
  • > 99.5% being a disgustingly fat, non-man.

Conclusion: OP's results may be a bit limited until he can look down and see his own shoes.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Can you graph this for me ya big nerd ;)

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Watch out for the face kick Johnny.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not tall enough to pull it off.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, im sitting at 180 right now (5’10) and this last 5-10 sucks dick.

Whats up with the 518 in your name?

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks that's helpful man. Started tracking my eating in myfitnesspal 4 days ago - I'm on track to lose 1.5 pounds/week and going strong.

[–]RPeed12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

I was going to mock you for being fat but reading all the way through sounds like you’re having a decent stab at it. Albeit obviously faking it to make it at this point.

Just ride it out and either tease her about being a bitch or withdraw attention until you realize the world won’t end.

Then maybe start going out and enjoying yourself instead.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

He is trying and making progress, but you should make fun of him. #supernecessary

[–]RPeed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Eh, last few times I did that they either deleted their account or posted a virtual suicide note.

But in hindsight there's no mention of her being a shrew, just not wanting sex with a fat dude. Which is fair.

[–]markpf737 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

At 29% you are still disgusting to most women. Never forget that.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't be fat though bro. And don't listen to the guys who tell you to lose a pound a week.

5lbs a week. Minimum.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should put a sock in your mouth and deal with that 29% bodyfat. Zero progress will be made with you as a fat fuck.

Get some audio versions of the sidebar books, install myfitnesspal, and jump on an exercise bike.

Finish level 1 first.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Started tracking my eating in myfitnesspal 4 days ago - I'm on track to lose 1.5 pounds/week and going strong.

[–]helaughsinhidden4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Continue with kino or back off?

Don't just continue, get better at it. Honestly, she wants you to, but women shit test because AWALT, but a quality man DNGAF. He teases her for being bitchy and comes in closer. He doesn't get butt hurt, he smiles with a shit eating grin. Being cordial is for divorced couples or soon to be. Husbands and wives are meant to be close, intimate, passionate. Get better at passing shit tests and at flirting.

I've put a pause on initiating sex the last week or so.

and

sleeping in the other room

You are operating in her frame yet. I know you said you stopped sleeping in another room, but if you are putting a pause on initiating "because of her" or sleeping somewhere else "because of her" or anything "because of her" then you aren't doing what YOU WANT, you are doing what SHE WANTS and not operating in your frame.

Tried to access married man sex life primer but my internet tracker blocked it.

What is this? Does SHE have an internet filter on your phone? Tracking website traffic? If so, she is your husband. I am guessing you've got a porn problem. First, stop looking at porn and masturbating, it's not good for testosterone levels, sex drive, performance, or for keeping frame. It makes you less attractive in ways women can't prove, but notice none the less. Just stop looking and remove your filters because you aren't a child.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

> Don't just continue, get better at it

Yeah that's kind of what I was trying to figure out if I should work on. Most people seem to be saying that it doesn't really matter - I still think it's probably worth working on.

Internet filter - so I don't have a problem with porn - last time was a couple of months ago and since starting MRP about a month ago I'm totally solid in that department. The reason for the filter is that at the time that the porn thing came up we were both conservative christians and both felt that it was a good idea to do the filter.

I think that turning it off right now would be rambo, so I think it's something I need to take my time with.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

What is the point of kino if you are fucking gross to her? Are you hoping that by touching her more she is just going to want to fuck your fat ass all the sudden?

Pretend she is dead and focus on you my man. If a random woman wouldn't fuck you, why would your wife? At least with random bitches, they aren't keenly aware of you being a faggot for 16 years.

Devote your life to reading and lifting until you are fuckable, until then just stfu and keep your chubby sausage fingers to yourself.

[–]RoccoPinkman3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

At least with random bitches, they aren't keenly aware of you being a faggot for 16 years.

That’s why this shit is so hard. You can put on an act for a rando but your wife knows only too well how much of a faggot you are.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

your wife knows only too well how much of a faggot you are

The very definition of mrp is 'trp on hard mode'

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nightmare Mode*

[–]FoxShitNasty832 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mmmm sausage fingers!!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, you know about salad fingers? Warning, its FUCKED

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So I think the way that I worded my post was a bit confusing because I mention the body fat and that she doesn't want me to touch her. I skimmed over the fact that she's been mad the past 3-4 weeks, but I think that's the much more significant issue.

She's still getting used to my new behavior - not being as beta, DGAF, etc. I think that was the main reason she's been upset and cold with me.

I do agree that the reason she's not having more enthusiastic sex more often is in big part because of my SMV (body fat etc) which I'm working on. We had a good day yesterday - she finally broke down and cried after resisting and being angry for weeks - I think she's starting to come into my frame. Had sex twice yesterday.

[–]hack3geRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Normally I’d call you a fat faggot and tell you to just STFU and lift but you didn’t come here and blow smoke up everyones ass and say how great you are so I’ll throw you some of my experience.

I got the same shit from my wife at the beginning. The don’t touch me, I don’t like that, I’m not that type of girl, etc. I was fat and not attractive and her actions showed it.

Your kino is needy as fuck and you are fat which makes it worse. I dialed all my affection back to purely sexual and not lovey dovey hand holding / cuddling - that shit is the woman’s job. I slapped her ass, grabbed her from behind and grabbed her tits, bit her neck, etc. I would do it once and walk away so it lingers - also dial it back to just a few times a day.

I know you are thinking if I kino then maybe she will want sex - doesn’t work that way if you aren’t attractive. It’s good to push and change your behavior as she has to see you are a man who wants to fuck but don’t overdo it and drop all your expectations because your butthurt shows a mile away.

For what it’s worth the woman who didn’t even want me to touch her a year ago got fingered in the kitchen while cooking dinner and was begging to cum and then got pinned down, fucked and tossed around later in the night, just like the night before and the night before that.

Put in the work and someone will fuck you - maybe it will be your wife.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

4 weeks? Wow. That’s a long time.

No. It’s really not. You are getting impatient, you want to see gains now. You aren’t in fact it’s about to get worse becasue I am going to tell you to ignore her. Keep initiating. Keep keno. I never understood men who stop initiating with their wive or GF/LTR. You are literally conditioning her to not have sex with you or think about having sex with you.

HER: No I am not having sex tonight

ME (rubbing muh belly) ok but we are going to play sea monster and the damsel.

then walk off smiling and find something else to do.

So you’re fat. Check

Coming off a drunk captain streak. Check.

You have no Frame. Check

Believe me she’s thinking of sex. All women love getting fucked. Otherwise the sex toy industry would not exist.

she mostly gives me one word responses and makes it clear she doesn't want to talk or touch.

This right here is critical. Do you see it?

This is what SHE wants. OP, what the fuck do you want?

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]diceblue3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife has hated the changes I've tried to make. Told me today to shove the love notes I've been leaving her up my ass.

I think it's working.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha nice

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Body fat 29%. Lifting the past 4 weeks since starting mrp. STFU and building my frame.

Ya know faggot. You are the most manly faggot I have seen in these parts in a while. Not many people come in here and say they are 29% body fat. Somewhere, you clearly have a backbone and balls.

There might be hope for you. And that is all the kisses you get from me.

I've been trying to do kino throughout the day

Dude, you are a morbidly obese man who probably has significant body odor issues as a result of your insulin levels going up and down all crazy from when you stuff processed sugars in your face all day.

Unless your wife is equally gross, you are the bottom of the barrel. Any kino you get, any sex you get - you should be fucking thankful for. I cant even imagine what it would be like to be 29% and actually enjoy sex.

You need to ensure you have basic grooming down, and that includes cologne and deodorant. Make sure you brush your teeth and get all those fatty food chunks out of your mouth.

WTF is "day" mean? Why is your fat ass not at work? Do you WFH? If so, get your fat ass outta the house and to the Starbucks (no drink/food for you) and work there.

A few days ago she was saying "don't touch me"

Can you blame her? Here is a BF chart, look at the guy in the 30-34% range. That is you. Gross.

Your only, main priority right now is to loose weight and take whatever starfish sex you get. You are far to gross to wanna fuck enthusiastically.

Throw everything away in the kitchen, pantry and from your center console in the car. Go on Keto, now.

Keep kinoing her, getting what sex you can, and report back at Christmas time. If you work hard you can get to 20% by then and then come here and ask us how to kino your woman.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Really dont think i can hit 5-10% without tren, fuckkkk

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or Winstrol to dry you out.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn. Thanks for taking the time to reply. The tough love is working - started tracking my eating in myfitnesspal 4 days ago - I'm on track to lose 1.5 pounds/week and going strong.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, you are a morbidly obese man who probably has significant body odor issues as a result of your insulin levels going up and down all crazy from when you stuff processed sugars in your face all day.

Lol, that was unexpected.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn glad I'm not in your shoes. That sounds downright hostile. Lot's of good advice you've gotten for how to deal with her. With that kind of hostility from a long term partner, just stay in your body and not in your head. Work out and move - nonstop. Shit if I were in that situation I'd be working out 7 days a week - fuck rest days or cheat days. Read the iron by henry rollins every morning and every night for motivation. Good luck.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Yeah I was working out about 6 days a week until starting stronglifts. Now that I'm on stronglifts I'm only lifting 3 days a week as per the program. The other 2 days a week I'm doing BJJ.

I sort of want to find a lifting program that can allow me to be in the gym more often because I do have time to fill.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you may be trying too much for what your SMV is currently, which brings different results as if you were already there

You are on the right path though. You shouldn’t engage too much with her at this point, instead pull out all attention/time you put on her and put it on yourself

  • Lift weights
  • Do cardio
  • Eat well
  • Read a ton
  • Go out alone
  • Build your finances

Those are the 6 things I did and still do

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]0io-Tsundere1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Long road ahead going from 29% body fat to under 15%. You might benefit from Metformin. You should have your A1C checked to see if you're pre-diabetic or type 2 diabetic already.

If I were you I would keep doing kino anyway, fuck it.

Since you're going to the doctor anyway to have your A1C checked have them check your testosterone level and thyroid too. If you need additional thyroid or testosterone (and don't get it) it will make your body transformation a lot harder than it needs to be.

If testosterone and thyroid are good, just go whole hog with the diet and lifting, and kino as much as you want.

If testosterone and thyroid need supplementation, get on hormone replacement and then just go whole hog with the diet and lifting, and kino as much as you want.

You'll be (happily) shocked at how much better all areas of your life go when you start dropping body fat. Hang in there. You've got a couple of years of work ahead of you before you get where you want to be.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why have A1C checked? Btw I found some good online tests for things like checking testosterone, etc. Any recs on those? Would rather go that route than going to the dr.

I started tracking my eating in myfitnesspal 4 days ago - I'm on track to lose 1.5 pounds/week and going strong.

[–]0io-Tsundere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're very overweight right now and Type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance goes along with that. If you have that problem, the Metformin might greatly improve your health and make it a lot easier for you to lose the weight. The A1C will check and see if you're getting damage from out-of-control blood sugar / type 2 diabetes. It's in your best interest to check in with the doctor as you start making radical changes to get your health back on track. If you have uncontrolled health problems it will make your journey more difficult. Under your circumstances, a trip to the doctor to let him know what you're trying to do is probably a good idea. In my opinion it's smarter than "shooting from the hip."

Diet and exercise are for sure the right thing to do, trip to the doctor is a smart move.

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Btw I made a post for the heavier gentleman here.

Up to you but I strongly believe you should be losing >5lbs a week at that size. Even 10lbs/week is achievable in the first couple of weeks. Sure it'll include a goodly amount of water weight. Who cares? Water has mass and you don't put it all back on in a smaller frame.

Check out "snake diet" as well as the links in that post.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man! So I'm actually down 5 lbs in the last week. Based on the MyFitnessPal calculator I'm only supposed to be losing 1.5 per week but maybe that's not factoring in all my activity levels, sauna, lifting etc.

Goal is 1900 cals per day but many days I'm coming in at like 1600.

I read that post you linked to. Didn't completely understand exactly what the program is.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice thanks. Yeah the other day after getting blasted on this thread I decided to start tracking my eating on myfitnesspal. was doing IF for about 4 weeks before that but not tracking - now I'm tracking and on track to lose 1.5 pounds per week and I'm down 3 pounds already.

Down from 217 to 214.

[–]CrazyLegs781 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP- I was going to PM you, but I want any lurkers to read this as well.

Getting to know everyone here can sting at first. It's some wicked combination of being force fed the bitter truth and having to earn acceptance. So you cannot get discouraged or pissed by some of these replies. Understand that this is the truth, spoken by strangers that genuinely want to guide others to be successful.

Don't get discouraged! Use this as fuel for the gym. You can see results in 6 months of lifting I assure you. Most average men don't lift and have >25% body fat. You can be <25% in 6 months and closing in on intermediate lifts. This will get the attention of most average chicks around your age, which will motivate you to keep going. From there it's a positive feedback loop and you will be a believer. Accept that you likely didn't get to 29% quickly, and you won't get away from 29% quickly. It will take years of work and a lifestyle change.

My first gym log entry 7-JAN-2019 when I made lifting my top priority(After 2 months of choking on the pill and being a bitch) 265lbs, 32.3% BF, 105lb OHP, 187lb BP, 195lb Squat, 186lb DL-->that's 179.4lbs LBM and 85.6lbs fat.

Currently 250lbs, 26% BF, 148lb OHP, 253lb BP, 285lb Squat, 361lb DL-->185.2lb LBM, 64.8lb fat.

I'm not giving myself props, I'm trying to give you some motivation. I most definitely could have made faster progress, but I actively made decisions to avoid injury and not crash diet. I still look in the mirror and accept that I'm a fat bastard for now, but just yesterday I got hit on in the parking lot leaving work. She was no trophy, but that shit wasn't happening 6 months ago. You should waste no time in getting started, and don't let some of the harsh words here get to you--->FRAME.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man I appreciate it! The tough love has been working - started tracking my eating in myfitnesspal 4 days ago - I'm on track to lose 1.5 pounds/week and going strong.

I'm already down from 217 to 214 in like 4 days (probably some water weight stuff in there too).

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Learn strong lifts. Only 4 lifts to learn. And do them 3 days a week every week. Because your novice your lifts will increase rapidly at first. This at least will give you a moral boost. Even if your wife thinks your a faggot. Less chance of fuckarounditis if you keep it simple.

[–]Southboundcrash2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

3 days a week? Lol he needs to be in the gym 7 days a week

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Started stronglifts a few days ago. Only concern is that I think I'd like to spend more time in the gym - I have the time and need to fill my day. I was spending more time in the gym (6 days a week for an hour) before starting stronglifts.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good start man, spend an hour doing your main lifts and add in some HIIT cardio if you can. You will make more progress in that one hour lifting heavy fucking weights than 90% of dudes in the gym who are there fucking around on cable machines and texting. If you get stuck with anything pm me.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

What kind of kino are you doing? Always start very light, and work up. I’m guessing you’re being to aggressive compared with beta bob 30+ % BF she’s used to. 4 weeks isn’t shit.

Cut out the BJJ for now and spend more time in the gym. Clean up your diet. Cut out sugars, processed foods... etc

Like everyone else said STFU and hit the gym. Don’t make it more complex than that (for now). You have a lot of work to do on both your physical and mental strength (frame)

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Disagree on cutting out the BJJ - he should lift 3 days a week and do BJJ the rest. Rolling for an hour burns something like 1200 calories especially as a white belt. I’ve watched dudes come into the gym fat as fuck and after 3-4 months they’ve dropped a shit ton of fat and because of the nature of the workout it is muscle sparing.

I’m a firm believer after what I’ve been through that cardio does more harm than good and your hobby should be your cardio. It’s a lifestyle change that is easy to stick to.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Makes a lot of sense and that's what I'm leaning towards.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The other day after getting blasted on this thread I decided to start tracking my eating on myfitnesspal. was doing IF for about 4 weeks before that but not tracking - now I'm tracking and on track to lose 1.5 pounds per week and I'm down 3 pounds already.

Why cut out BJJ?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

now I'm tracking and on track to lose 1.5

Good start, but you could do 2 lbs per week at your BF %. I just cut 10 lbs over 5 weeks (2 lbs/week), and I went from 17% to 12%. It gets harder to cut more as your BF goes down.

Why cut out BJJ?

Just while you’re cutting. Double up on lifting so you don’t lose any muscle. Then resume BJJ after you finish cutting... unless you have time for both.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're early in your journey. Stay focused on lifting, eating right and building frame. In your mind, consider your wife gone...Do the things you'd do if that were the case. Start getting out of the house and spend time with other men.

As for her calling you a rapist, etc... Just realized this takes time. My only advice here is to not engage in these conversations, the most you can do is fog and be honest that you find her attractive and that you want to fuck her and often. Just don't be a creep. I'm curious what you consider kino - walking up from behind and grabbing a tit?

4 weeks is nothing, you can't expect any change from her until she sees that you're the prize (you're not at 29% BF). Keep your for on the gas.

[–]redninja77Fat, but working on it[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks



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