I have all I ever wanted but I’m not happy

Theorymeltfool1 · 2019-07-13T18:04:10+00:00

Assuming this isn't a troll, break up with him and go to college for a STEM degree. Do you really want to spend the next 60+ years relying on a guy for support?

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-07-13T22:19:31+00:00

“and a 20-year age gap has a jaw-dropping 95 percent chance of ending in divorce”

Don’t waste your youth.

Kara__El · 2019-07-13T21:15:57+00:00

Wow. This guy has it made: a teenager who will give him sex, cook and clean for him, and doesn't complain when he completely ignores her, because she doesn't have to work.

Do you really want to be that girl? If not, then you don't have all you ever wanted. Leave. Find someone within five years of you, who wants a girlfriend, not a maid who sleeps with him.

Also, it's super creepy that someone nearing 40 is having sex with someone who can barely vote.

NotGenie · 2019-07-13T18:53:57+00:00

So you’ve tried to communicate but he’s not reciprocating. You’re giving this relationship everything you’ve got but he’s not reciprocating. He’s making excuses.

You need to sit down & have a serious conversation with him. State all your problems & tell him that you’re not happy. Tell him that if your relationship doesn’t improve, then you’re going to have to move on.

I’m 18 as well & dated an older man. He was a lot like your partner & looking back, I can see how manipulative he was & how much power & influence he had over me without me realizing it.

Your next step should be talking to him seriously & considering college. Being a homemaker is great but often, it’s not a viable option & you’ll need an education to fall back on. Seriously consider further education, even community college would work. Just don’t sit at home while he’s out working.

Think about your own future without him. What if the relationship doesn’t work out? Suddenly, you’re 30 with no college degree, incapable of getting a decent job & living in your parent’s basement (this is a true story; happened to my cousin). You’ll need to learn how to survive on your own as well without depending on a partner. I would highly encourage you to get a good degree.

It sounds like you’ve put all your eggs in one basket with this relationship. You’ve prioritized him & put yourself in second place whereas he’s done the exact opposite. He’s not even willing to openly communicate with you. This is not healthy & a telltale sign of manipulation. Believe me, I was in your shoes a short while ago. Please be careful & update us.

clitclamchowder · 2019-07-14T11:42:58+00:00

All I can input is my husband saying how he can't fathom dating an 18 year old like other guys do because he couldn't talk to them or make a connection, and we're 25. I'm not equating you to the average frivolous 18yo but a big age gap like that still leaves a lot of room for distance. You're at an age where most guys your age suck and most guys wanting to date a lot younger suck too. Not discouraging you from dating guys with the age difference but make sure you have a connection. This guy, specifically, sounds like he just likes a pretty girl taking care of the house.

ApuAllAlone · 2019-07-15T07:19:41+00:00

I will try not to repeat what others here have said so I'll just say this: the biggest red flag is that he hasn't married you. You're essentially a maid with sex.

He just wants warm meals, a clean home and empty balls. He doesn't care about what you want. At least if you were married you would have the security knowing that if he ever chose to throw you out, you could get a settlement to start off your new life.

Sounds like you're being used to be honest.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-07-15T20:19:26+00:00

Um... I'm the last person to criticize an age difference, but at 18, with a 20-year gap, you're a child compared to him (and young enough to actually BE his kid). Why are you with him exactly? This sounds more like a mistress/sugaring situation than a real relationship.

[deleted] · 2019-07-13T18:01:53+00:00

Did you talk to him about this? Communication is step 1 in any relationship.

gangsta_4 · 2019-07-13T18:41:49+00:00

You say the man is red pilled? (MGTOW)?

If he is so, then he sees you as a gold digger.

I'm 18 too and girls my age don't have marriage in mind. Seems like he's a quite a good catch.

Glitter_Sparkle · 2019-07-15T05:21:31+00:00

You will change and grow a lot over the next few years. Honestly, if you were 28 and he was 48 the age gap would be a lot less noticeable. Don't do it unless you have no other choice.

notyetsaved · 2019-07-14T21:46:14+00:00

How long have you been together? What types of “future” things have you discussed (kids, retirement plan for you specifically, what happens to you if something happens to him)? Is education part of your future plans at all, in your plans together?

Do you feel like he loves you, but he’s not affectionate or spending time with you the way you want him to?

We actually need more information

Maxology · 2019-07-21T17:33:28+00:00

UoP University of the People - Fully Accredited and low cost only pay for books and final exams - a fraction of the cost of any other Unis and 100% Online as you can do this from home during homemaker breaks or quiet time and focus on a degree in Business, Medical or CompSci. Many types of Medical Admin/Billing/Coding work can even be done from home - an excellent way to develop an independent skillset and cash flow for the time when you might be called upon to step in and support the family if he is ever incapacited - we are all just one motor vehicle accident away from pushing up daiseys or not being able to work for a long while. You can even justify nursing for when you have to care for him in his old age and every man fantasizes about his own private sexy young nurse... OBTW once you are working full time most Companies have programs to pay for work related Grad Degrees at more expensive schools with snob appeal.

smithsqueen · 2019-07-21T18:31:35+00:00

Holy shit, no wonder you aren’t happy. No offense. An 18 year old and 38 year old are in radically different stages of life. He was your age before you were even a fetus ffs. You’re still a child, I would know. I’m 19 and elementary school seems like just the other day for me. It seems like you’re just a housekeeping tool for him. Leave, move back in with your parents, and start community college working towards a useful field, you won’t even be behind at all. This guy is a deadend for you and it’s only a matter of time before he leaves you high and dry.

your_cat_is_ugly_ · 2019-07-26T21:37:23+00:00

Barring mental illness, there is always a solid reason why you are unhappy.

By the sounds of things you don't have everything you want.

I can think of 2 things you mentioned in your post that you seem to want but don't have.

Your friends and family don't accept your relationship and your boyfriend isn't attentive enough.

This is something I am sure that not a lot of people have told you but a 38 year old man with long work hours isn't going to have the same libido and vitality as a man closer to your age. I have dated men of different ages. After 35 a man's sex drive starts to slow down slightly and they want more time alone. I'm sure exceptions do exist but this holds true for the majority of men.

You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Soon this guy will be marching into grandpa territory and you will most likely outlive him by a long shot. Your kids are also slightly more likely to have genetic problems. You have to consider whether or not this is something you are OK with.

You won't get to grow old and share your golden years with the same man you have been with for 40-50 years. There will be intergenerational differences between the two of you. If you both end up working he will retire long before you do unless you have enough money saved.

Either you make peace with the things that are bothering you or you move on.

Your friends and family may warm to your boyfriend with time. They will be forced to if you choose to stay with him in the long term and they want a good relationship with you.

roseyylove · 2019-07-13T18:04:33+00:00

Yes I have. He says I’m nagging and turns it around on me. He says that’s just the way he is and hes too busy with work and that all girls don’t understand that. When we agree to spend time together, he just doesn’t follow through with it

Title	I have all I ever wanted but I’m not happy
Author	roseyylove
Upvotes	0
Comments	46
Date	July 13, 2019 5:52 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ccs6z5/i_have_all_i_ever_wanted_but_im_not_happy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-have-all-i-ever-wanted-but-im-not-happy.245365 https://theredarchive.com/post/245365

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